Slightly puzzled and a bit sad

That makes me sad too. How nice it would have been if his parents could have struck up a conversation with you and formed a "group"to play on the beach as you might with an aunt or other family friend. The way to encourage communication is surely not to pull the child out of every social situation in case it is "unsuitable" but to encourage friendliness in a controlled manner.

Not everyone is as understanding as you, and your family, obviously were Absent - sadly their previous experiences have made them wary and apologetic

Bother! Tried to post once already and lost it because I was trying to research a link about autism - however ...

It is sad that the parents did not pick up on your warmth and sensitivity towards them, but their reaction is very understandable. As Anya says, you don't know what previous experiences they have had.How lovely though, that the little boy was drawn to you.

What I failed to research was 'new thinking' about autistic children's reactions in social settings which suggests that far from being unable to read social situations in order to respond appropriately to them, autistic children are hyper-sensitive to emotional responses in others- to the point of being overwhelmed and it is that which causes them to withdraw.

The little boy seems to have recognised that you were naturally warm and welcoming. His parents are on their own steep learning curve with him - let's hope that over time they can relax more for him and for themsleves.

Maybe the parents were worried that by "allowing" him to grab your hand and play Absent it might make him think that it was okay for him to do this with any stranger, which could obviously put the little boy at risk.

Sad though.

BTW, Playing in the ocean at the end of February sounds like heaven.

It sounds as though you gave him a lovely time absent.

Having an adult autistic son I can see both sides. A sad situation all round.

They may have had autism themselves.

That was my first thought too, obi.

I hope the little lad remembers his time with you and your grandson, absent.

Perhaps they weren't apologising but explaining his behaviour. We used to share the care of a little girl with autism and we often needed to explain her behaviour to other people particularly other parents. Some of them are sexually precocious even very young ones and need to be protected from strangers. Not nice people like you Absent

What a sad story. Their reaction was probably based on experience, as others have said, but I think there was a big missed opportunity here. Such a pity they didn't recognise your kindness and willingness to accept their troubled son - you could have been a very welcome addition to their circle of friends.

Indinana Speaking as a parent of someone with AS I'm not sure "troubled" is the appropriate description. My son is quiet happy in his own world ?.
I'm not offended, just saying.

Sorry nina, that was not an appropriate word to use, I agree. Apologies to you and anyone else who may have been upset by this. From absent's description he actually sounded a delightful child!

My nephew (who alas died in a car accident age 14) had this behaviour also, and was the sweetest of lovely people. (Still miss him every day, and he died 10 years ago!)

When he was a little boy, strangers were often surprised but happy if he'd attached himself to them, for the very few minutes before we found him. It was much less acceptable behaviour when instead of a little blonde angel, a hulking great teenager wanted to sit on your lap...

We never did manage to find the right words to persuade Philip that really it was only family who welcomed that kind of contact. For him, everyone loved him, his whole life.

Wherever the parents are in their "journey" - absent - hopefully they will remember that day as a nice experience along the road. Sadly there are far too many people who cannot accept, or even handle "differences" and you sound like the kind of person who can and does. The wee boy I am sure simply recognised a warm, caring, person when he saw one and knew you would not reject him. Sometimes children affected by autism see and KNOW a lot more than we do.

I sometimes wish there was a 'Like' button on GN...

Perhaps the parents have just had the diagnosis and are still coming to terms with it. Sometimes something like this makes people withdraw into themselves and this may be why they failed to respond to your kindness. Hopefully your welcoming attitude will help them. You shouldn't feel distressed absent I am sure they will remember you and your affection for their son.

As a parent of a 29yo autistic son I too can see it from both
points of view. My son can be very friendly towards strangers
but doesn't understand that many people are not as demonstrative as our family. It's just not logical to him!! He can get very upset when told to "s*d
off" which has happened on occasions over the years.

As nan to 2 autistic boys,I would just say that there are a lot of misconceptions about autism..There is a wide spectrum from high-functioning Aspergers to severely autistic.The parents of this boy will undoubtedly have come across ignorance and prejudice towards him-this could be anything from people tutting because they think he is just naughty to outright hostility.
It is wonderful that this little boy felt that you were such warm,fun people that he wanted to join in!
The parents apologies may not just have been because of previous experience though.Autistic children grow into autistic adults and have to learn that there are socially acceptable and socially inappropriate behaviours.Sadly,this can mean curbing their sheer joy and delight sometimes.

The day after we got our sons diagnosis of Aspergers we went in to see the school senco 'special needs coordinator '. At only seven years old,She asked him what was wrong with him. His reply was I've got a bit of a headache! Silly woman. We always tell him 21 now there is nothing wrong with him the problem is other people.

I think sometimes parents are a little hard on themselves and unfortunately as the mother of a son who was diagnosed with add over twenty years ago when very little was known about it you come across so many intolerant people who are quick to judge your parenting skills that when you meet those that aren't it's a bit of a surprise and you don't really know how to react and apologize

I think, as gillybob says, it was simply a safety thing. They are probably trying to convince him not to be over friendly with any strangers. Sounds sensible to me. In this instance Absent you were just not important. I expect you can understand that.

jingl I wasn't trying to be important and fully understand that protecting their son was probably their priority, but I did think it was sad that not only did the dad apologise but the mum bothered to walk along the beach from where she had been sitting to make another apology.

absent I can see it from both sides having an Autistic Nephew, not everyone is so welcoming though, but I am glad the boy found some pleasure with you.

splashing in the sea in February thats just not right you seem to be enjoying those DCG to the full.