In the 9th month of retirement ...

So many lovely comments whilst I've been away - had I sounded you all out a couple of years ago I think I'd have been convinced to retire right there and then! There are obviously lots of us in very similar positions and your contentment just shines through I think one thing you've all helped me with is acceptance but I am realising that, yes, the greatest gift is finally having the choice to do exactly what I want when I want! I needed to step back and you've helped me do that. Thanks to every one of you! I am settling down with a coffee and am going to read through your posts again

Rose

Its nice to know we've helped to reassure you Rose, enjoy your day.

You too Tanith! I think your life and situation - past, present, health wise - do sound very close to the way mine have panned out and I do hope you're health problems improved after retirement. Mine is a bit easier for it

Sorry - "your" not "you're"!

Like other folks have said, it's YOUR retirement, so do what gives you the right mix of relaxation and stimulation. We both choose to do a fair bit of voluntary work both in our church and the local community but the important word there is "choose", we don't have to do any of it! The things we are involved in are flexible enough to give us plenty time for activities with friends and family too as well as time just to spend together. We're pretty fit and well still and I would hate to find myself in a few years time regretting that we didn't enjoy time together while we had the chance to do so.
We moved to a different part of the country when my husband retired and I think that made it easier to establish new patterns without feeling guilty about being able to please ourselves more. We've spent many happy hours exploring our new environment, then enjoyed taking friends to our favourite places when they come to visit us.

So, today........

- woke late; breakfast in bed.
- lovely walk in the sunshine - yes, sunshine!
- made lunch
- spent the afternoon reading poetry online (poetry foundation - brilliant!) whilst listening to my iPod on shuffle with an assortment of folk, classical and everything else)
- and tonight I am going out to sing with my choir.

This is the life!

Yesterday was busy - physio and a governors' meeting; and tomorrow will be busy too - looking after 3 year old GC, then running my choir in the evening. But these "busynesses" are my choice, and they are interspersed with lovely restful days like today.

There is nothing like retirement!

Oh, wildrose, just do what makes you happy, you've earned it! I have retired friends who fill every hour of every day of the week - gym, classes, charity work, committees - and that's how they like it. We, on the other hand, are lucky enough to have two days a week, occasionally three, looking after one or other of our little grandsons, and then we do just as we please on the others. Reading, gardening, walking, seeing family and friends, trips away. We spent today reading in bed till 9, went to the senior (cheap) viewing of The Program at the local cinema (very good), followed by a lunchtime special at a local Turkish restaurant, a quick spot of bargain hunting, home for Pointless Coming up soon - pancakes and a walk up to our local for our weekly quiz. It may sound boring, but after a stressful and busy working life, it's bliss! Like you, we still have friends who ask us what our plans are - our plan is simply not to have one and go with the flow.

Enjoy Rose
It is a new mind set which one will only comprehend when one retires so that is why your working friends don't understand.

I've absolutely loved re-reading your posts! A couple of things have sprung to mind - the retired people I come into contact with do seem to cram every day with organised or timetabled activity and perhaps they never gave our way a try! Each to their own though... And the other thing is that it's dawned on me this morning that this way of life feels a bit "naughty"
Thanks to those who posted since my last visit - loved reading a few breakdowns of your days and loopylou I meant to wish you all the very best on your upcoming retirement - lovely times ahead!
Have a good day everyone,

Rose

I think sometimes we all expect too much of ourselves.
When I first took redundancy at 60 , leaving a responsible job, I felt guilty if I had not 'done' something that day. I then began to look after grandchildren two days a week but now they are at school my days are a bit like yours and why not!
As long as you are happy that is all that matters.
I sometimes feel I should do some volunteering, but to be honest I don't want to . I have a relative in a care home that I visit every Sunday , i help my daughter out with childcare when her husband is away , I really do not want any more restrictions on my time . I go swimming for a bit of exercise but I go when and for how long I feel like.
Stop feeling guilty and enjoy the time with your husband

Don't feel guilty, this is your time, you choose how you spend it. It sounds an ideal mix to me. You seem to have things well-balanced.

Hello Rose, I retired three and a half months ago and I totally endorse what people are saying about its your life and this is your time to do what you want.

I must admit though that I was brought up with a big dose of Protestant work ethic in a family where you always had to be doing something 'productive'. This means that although I am very happy indeed to retire, I do get the odd twinge of guilt. Not when I am racing around attending classes and keep fit and things, but on the days when I have nothing scheduled.

What I am only just starting to realise though (after three and a half months) is that I enjoy both unscheduled time with all its possibilities and doing 'nothing'! I have to say I havent been bored even once.

It took me a while to get over the feeling that I was going to be caught out not going to work, and the slightly guilty feeling I got every time my (paltry) pension landed in my bank account, had to remind myself I had earned that money! I did worry that I would end up having to live off my savings until I get my state pension at age 66, but as others have said, it costs a lot more than you think to go to work, and I find I have a little left over at the end of every month.
We get up when we wake up, sit by our big windows and look at our wonderful view drinking tea, reading, doing puzzles, listening to the radio, just enjoying 'being'. It's hard to believe I've had the same view for 25 years and I've never had the time to just sit and look at it, and watch the changes that each season brings.
Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I don't get dressed till after noon! If I get stuck into a book, or piano practise, or watching the many birds visiting our feeders the time just disappears.
My (second) husband plays golf, goes fishing, runs, watches rugby so we have plenty of time apart and really enjoy our time together.
Having been a teacher, I love being able to go to the toilet when I need to (!), eating my lunch sitting down with a plate, knife and fork, being able to go to GCs school events, going to the supermarket without fear of hearing "Hello Miss", booking cheap holidays in term time, being able to support friends and family when they need help, not when I've got time.

I'm loving retirement ... I left work at 55 when my husband retired and although the state pension is way over the horizon yet we manage well on my work pension and his pensions. We moved to the coast and now live in the same town as my daughter, Sil and specially our DGD!
I joined a couple of local groups for walking and crafting, but nothing that required any actual commitment. We babysit a lot too, which is a joy.

We wake up naturally and get up when we want to, earlier in summer, later in winter usually. We spend an hour breakfasting and catching up with news etc. We go cycling and walking if the weather is good, explore our new local area which is very scenic.
DH enjoys doing the garden and I enjoy sitting in it!
We have no intention of looking for any kind of work ... in fact our lives already feel quite full!

Enjoy your retirement, you've earned it! ?

I retired a few years ago but am several years away from the state retirement age. Actually I don't look my age either. Injury on duty as a police officer meant I have difficulty with the stress work brings. I tried doing charity work but find that if something in life over stresses me I shut down ...so....cannot commit knowing that I might later have a shut down and would let down people relying on me. So....I have become absorbed in patchwork and quilting and am now involved in The Linus Project....google it to find out...in essence it is making quilts for children in hospitals. They keep it for their hospital stay and get to take it home afterwards. It makes their hospital stay easier.
The hardest parts I have found about retiring has been losing a certain sense of identity. I no longer have the authority or power of a 30 year career I had and am 'a grey haired old woman'.
The great thing is.....I can talk to anyone about anything and can flirt with no consequence. Life is relaxed and easier. If I have a shut down period I go with it and just chill. No rushing around, a sense of purpose and peace. Very much..live, laugh and love.

Wildrose, do enjoy your retirement guilt free and don't feel pressured into doing what you don't really want to do.

I took early retirement from teaching four years ago as I was burnt out and definitely heading for a breakdown. One Friday I came home and had just had enough. My DH supported me and on the Monday following I handed in my notice knowing I would have only half a term more to teach. The drawback was that I lost a quarter of my pension by taking it at 55 but it seemed a small price to pay as at the time I didn't think I'd be around that long to collect it!

I remember the first day of retirement so vividly. I woke up with an ecstatic feeling of RELIEF and JOY! This continued every day for at least six months and I still feel pretty excited about not having to do battle with naughty children, awkward management, twenty-something heads of departments and OFSTED. Sunday evening is a particular pleasure!

My life has changed beyond measure and almost entirely for the better. My DH still works so I am alone for twelve hours a day which makes for an isolated life. However, I had enough clamour and bustle to last me a lifetime when I was teaching and I have learnt the difference between loneliness which is awful and solitude which is a blessing.

Now I walk, read, cook, maintain a house, cars and garden, iron and look after my family. I haven't joined clubs or volunteered as I am really quite shy and independent. I am very, very frugal and have retrenched on the household budget considerably including spending on myself.

My life satisfaction has shot through the roof and I try not to feel guilty about it. I reckon that it ill behoves me to be glum when others are having to work and I try to 'be there' for them - as the saying goes. I am a naturally melancholic and anxious person and I force myself to be calmer and more cheerful to support my family which has the strange effect of actually making me more cheerful.

I earnestly enjoin you to make the most of the blessings of life without guilt and regret.

I agree with all the comments. It's your life to live as you please!

I was worthy all my life. I studied hard, reached the height of my profession, raised two wonderful children and the last thing I wanted to do when I retired was more worthiness and responsibility.

I enjoy sleeping in in the mornings, reading the paper, going to classes, being there for my grandchildren. But even with them I want to be a recreational grandma. I am not getting tied to fixed childcare and term times. Been there, done that!

So many of my family died before they reached retirement age, so I am determined to enjoy mine on their behalf. Life is short and we need to gather the rosebuds while we may.

Hi Wildrose. I semi-retired from the NHS at the end of December 2015. I'm single with my youngest son still at home. I too have found myself wondering how on earth I found time to work full-time. The days fly by and it's wonderful to be able to plan holidays and days out and actually shop at a leisurely pace instead of dashing into tesco on the way home from work at 5.30. Many people said to me when I said I was retiring that they couldn't see me sitting at home all day and I had things planned such as a computer course or joining a Zumba Gold class or a modern dance class, swimming etc. And I've done nothing so far! I know it's early days yet but I'm just enjoying the freedom that retirement brings. Financially I'm secure which helps massively of course. Do what you want to do - so many of my friends have left retirement too late and then became ill and died relatively young. Life is precious and short. Enjoy

I got made redundant in July age 61. Applied for lots of jobs but apparently "overexperienced" ie too old. There are really none available for over60s women. Pension is 5 years away. Was asked by Jobcentre to do IT course updating skills but that has made no difference to job situation. Now JSA payments finish and it looks like enforced retirement. Nothing else on offer as have small savings intended to boost eventual retirement. Not sure about retirement although nice not to have so much stress. Feel devalued though after working 43 yrs and don't feel Gvmt have treated women like me well so have joined WASPI campaign (Please Google and sign petition).

Have 3 grandchildren and do babysitting etc. DH works 4 days and is running down to retire end of year. Have HUGE guilt complex about not earning and not being independant so interesting to see other posts.

I'm happily retired and have settled into a very comfortable rut as well.

Both my husband and I are very happy with our lives at the moment. We had worked hard all our lives and now enjoy the freedom of retirement. We don't have as much spare money, but we don't need to spend as much.

Enjoy your retirement. Do the things that make you happy.

Rose, don't you dare feel guilty - enjoy a long and happy retirement together and have a great future!

Enjoy it, wildrose. I am so glad you are happy and you mustn't feel guilty. I wasted the first couple of years of retirement not liking it and wishing I was still working, though not really fit enough. O.K now though!

GranJan60 it's interesting to read your take on this. I am more than 6 years away from state pension (have signed petition) and I worried at first, partly because I didn't choose to retire - there was no option. It has been a revelation to me to find that we can manage on much less than I thought but I too felt the pangs of guilt at first. I held a position of authority in work and wondered if I'd feel worthless - I don't! I do hope you feel differently and less guilty eventually.
Thanks for posting and - to those who posted this morning too. We are busy in different ways but there's that common theme of satisfaction overall. Wonderful!

Rose

I was made redundant 2 years ago, I was 66 and winding down to retirement, I was working 2 days and minding my gs for 3 days, it was exhausting, but I now realise I was scared of retirement. I too have the Protestant work ethic and found it difficult to deal with the guilt of not working, I did think I would get a part time job/volunteer but have not. I think my husband had a lot to put up with until I adjusted to retirement I was very quick tempered but now I agree with all the comments. I wonder now why I did not retire at 60. I just spent yesterday with my lovely 2 year old gd.

Wildrose don't feel guilty you've done your bit enjoy time with your husband,
And your new grandchild will be born soon and that's a whole different thread lol. Have fun, enjoy life.