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New baby

(67 Posts)
Jayney715 Thu 21-Jan-16 22:31:06

Our DD has a 22 mths old gorgeous girl.Our first Grandchild. She is expecting another in July. I can't describe how I feel. I struggle to feel excited. I can't imagine loving another grandchild like I do our first one. That is why we only had one child. Please help. This makes me feel so sad ???

Bennan Sat 23-Jan-16 11:12:44

We have two GS's, one is 12 and the other is 4 going on 20! We love them both very much and they return that love in spades. Even our 12 year old, although now a 'tweeny' and about to enter the grunt stage will avoid hugging unless you catch him unawares when he will squeeze back. No. 2 is a pistol and is endlessly affectionate and as he leaves insists that he will miss us so much! We have never had any difficulty in feeling the love and as everyone has said it just expands and fills you up and spills over. Have no fear you will be swamped with wonderful feelings when you see the new little one for the first time. ENJOY!!

Smithy Sat 23-Jan-16 11:10:47

Its very true what Jalima says, babies bring their love with them. My late mum used to say that and I thought it was an old wives saying, but it is so so true believe me.

morethan2 Sat 23-Jan-16 11:02:42

I too remember thinking I'd never love my second child as much as my first. It's our first experience of 'mothers love' and can be overwhelming. Of course I did, right from the moment I heard her first cry. I now have 8 grandchildren and love them all. Each and everyone has bought their own special kind of love with them and given it to me to share.

Chris1603 Sat 23-Jan-16 10:25:40

Hard to imagine loving someone you have never met. But you will look into the face of that new born grandchild and you will be smitten I have no doubt.

craftygran Sat 23-Jan-16 10:22:34

We are very blessed and our 26th DGC is due in April. I love them all dearly, they all have different personalities and all are special in their own way. The first born has a special place in my heart but so do four of the others for various reasons. But they are all treated equally and I never give to one if I can't give to the others. My 4th DGGC is due in June too, lots of love to go around.

annifrance Sat 23-Jan-16 10:08:49

Re grumpy teenager that communicate by Neanderthal grunts - it is possible and allowed to love unconditionally but not to like (temporarily one hopes) at the same time.

annodomini Sat 23-Jan-16 10:02:50

Love all five and each one is special in a different way.

DotMH1901 Sat 23-Jan-16 10:00:40

I have three grandchildren in the UK who I have been involved with since they were born - and I love each of them (even though my grandson is now at the grumpy teenager stage!). They are different in personality but each has a special place in my heart. My son went to the US and married there, I have a granddaughter in the US who I have never seen in person, only photos etc, but I still think about her too - hopefully when she is older we will be able to get to know each other better.

pamgran Sat 23-Jan-16 09:57:07

I read the question and wondered what you were on about. I now have seven grand children from three of my four children plus 2 sreat-grand children. They are all wonderful; different characters,; and very interesting to know. Enjoy!

dorsetpennt Sat 23-Jan-16 09:56:43

When I was expecting my second child I worried about loving it as much as I did my first. Then when my second grand child was on its way I had the same concern. However, the heart has room to love as much as you want . Of course I loved my daughter as much as my son , and my second granddaughter the same.

granpiano Sat 23-Jan-16 09:55:07

You first grandchild is always special by the fact they are your first and it is exciting. I saw my first being born and that was special too, I have three others and they are all special because they all have different characters and I love them because of these characters.
I would add just enjoy them and don't worry about your feelings, because two of my grandkids have been taken out of my life by my daughter and her new partner and I am so glad I enjoyed the 11 years I was allowed with my first born grandkid.

townie Sat 23-Jan-16 09:46:56

I'm in a similar position to you,OP. Particularly hard to imagine you will love the new arrival as much as your present DGC if, like you and me, you only had one child yourself. I'm looking forward to the birth of the second this spring but it feels strange too.
But I've always heard that love expands for new children rather than having to be spread thinner and the posts on here are very reassuring.

missdeke Sat 23-Jan-16 09:38:37

I have 7 grandchildren and I adore them all, the more you have the more love you have for them. They are all different, different good points and some not so good points but that's what makes them all so special. I do have one that I feel more 'attached' to than the others and he/she is not the first, and it's circumstances that has made it so, nothing to do with loving one more than the others.

annifrance Sat 23-Jan-16 09:32:47

I too thought my first grandchild would have a special place, but no - I love all three absolutely to bits and equally. They are all totally different so possibly that makes it easier. I cannot imagine ever loving one less than the other.

cujimmy Sat 23-Jan-16 09:32:31

Dont worry, you will love your next grandchild just as much. Love for them multiplies with each one, I have 4 grandchildren aged 6 years down to 2 weeks old, and I love them all the same. I feel blessed that I have been given 4 chances to give my love to a child again. You think you can never love a child more than your own, but you can when your grandchildren come along

PenJK50 Sat 23-Jan-16 09:18:12

We have now got six glorious grandchildren, the last two being unexpected twins - a boy and a girl. I can't describe how much more love each individual child brings to our lives. We appreciate them more each time we see them, which luckily is very often.

I could never have anticipated that love could grow and grow but that's what it does.

Ann4 Sat 23-Jan-16 09:16:11

Don't worry we have 4 grandchildren love them all to bits and all so different. But have to say the first born will always be just a little bit more special. Friends I have spoken to about this all seem to have I grandchild that pulls on the heart strings just that little bit more than the others. You will be fine enjoy ?

suzieq Sat 23-Jan-16 09:15:39

There are so many comments from grandparents of several that I fully agree with. My first DGS is certainly special to me, partly because his birth led to post natal depression in my DD who went from being a ferociously independent young woman to needing her Mum. So I spent much time with him in his first few months. All our DGC live 160+ miles away and last weekend we met DGD2 for only the fourth time in six months, each visit being short. However, all these littlies are very special - each in their own way, with their own strong personalities and stages of development. Enjoy! flowers

haddersmum Sat 23-Jan-16 09:15:09

I understand how you feel, I felt like that when expecting DD2. This year I wondered if I could love our first GS after two DDs and four GDs but I just love them all so much and am quite besotted with our first little boy. As many have said, there is no limit on love and you will be surprised that you will love the new baby as much as the first. Enjoy.

Parsley44 Sat 23-Jan-16 09:13:43

I am so lucky to have 9 grandchildren - sorry if that sounds greedy, but they spring from my 4 children!. I do love them all, but there is one with whom, the moment I held her, a bond was formed and, although I would never admit it to my other grandchildren, she is the centre of my life. The bond is mutual as was mine with my maternal Grandma. But as each grandchild arrived I loved him or her - so don't worry Jayney - babies have this way of entering our hearts the moment we see them!

Persistentdonor Sat 23-Jan-16 09:12:22

Janey, if the only reason you stuck at having one child yourself, was because you were afraid you didn't have enough love for a second, I feel deeply sad for what you missed.
I can clearly remember being scared in the 9th month that I could never love my second child the way I loved my first, but I was told that love just expands and stretches to infinity. And it does.
2 sons and 5 grandchildren later.... oh yes. It DOES.

Wheniwasyourage Fri 22-Jan-16 19:37:18

We are fortunate enough to have 7 DGC and we love them all. We have happy memories of the days of their births and are loving watching them all grow and become different people. Of course you will relate to different children in different ways as they are all different personalities even within the same family, but that doesn't mean that you love them less. The idea of babies bringing love with them is a beautiful one, and so true. You will be overwhelmed with that love again, jayney715! Don't worry, as there is nothing you can do (apart form supporting your DD, which I am sure you are already doing) before the DGC is born. Relax, sit back and have a brew and get on with enjoying your first DGC!

Greyduster Fri 22-Jan-16 16:02:08

We have only one grandchild whom we love to distraction, and there won't be anymore, but I hope that if there had been, we would have loved them with the same intensity. Having said that, my father had a special place in his heart just for my eldest nephew, the first of his thirteen grandchildren. You could see it when they were together. But that didn't mean he didn't love the others. Although he really never had the opportunity to get to know mine very well, he made a tremendous fuss of them on the few occasions he did see them. Janey715 revel in the joy both your grandchildren will bring you!

NanKate Fri 22-Jan-16 15:58:41

We only had one child too Jayney and felt rather like you. Our first grandchild born almost 5 years ago is the love of our life, however when we knew grandchild no 2 was on the way we had very mixed feelings.

Three years later I can tell you that GS2 is fabulous, very different from GS1 and I wouldn't be without either of them. It will work out, just give it time.

LullyDully Fri 22-Jan-16 15:49:20

I think I must be a bit of a PollyAnna .....I think babies bring their own love. You will be able to love two the same as one. Every child has its own appeal and personality.

I have 3GC and love them all. Number four in March, great.