Lateness height of rudeness

We used to have a friend who was never on time, so much so that when she did once arrive punctually, we were clutching each other and giggling uncontrollably - because we'd just had a bet between us about how late she'd be this time....
Our friend wanted to know what was so funny, so I told her, but she was not at all amused. Never mind, it was the end of the regular lateness.

With mobile phones it is easy to find out what is happening to the late person. Easy to, to make clear your irritation at sitting on your tod.

If you are late then phone and let friend know your eta.

My father used to make a joke about being on time and if we said come at 1pm, he would drive slowly into our close and wait until the exact time we said before he rang the door bell.

When my neice came up north to see her grandparents she would ring them to say when she was leaving, then belt up the Motorways and come round to my house to wait until the time she could have decently arrived to go round to her Nan and Gramps.

My OH is pathologically late and I hate it.

I sometimes have a problem with punctuality and it's usually down to trying to fit in too much or underestimating journey times, though it's not usually more than 5 minutes, 10 minutes tops. I'm staggered that someone would wait for over 30 minutes for someone to turn up. I'd just go.

I live abroad so when I visit England I try to fit in meeting as many friends as possible as well as my family.
I have one particular friend who is never punctual. I had arranged to meet her in her town for coffee at 10.30am knowing how she loves to chat and chat. I had arranged to meet a friend (who was travelling 60 miles to be there) about 10 minutes drive away at 1pm. My first friend hadnt turned up at 11 (she lives less than 5 minutes drive from where we were meeting and a car park on site) Couldnt get hold of her on her mobile phobe. Eventually she arrives 45 minutes late and then at the other end of our meet up when I needed to leave to meet other friend she just thought we could carry on chatting. So unfortunately now, unless I have a whole day not planned I dont arrange to meet her.

My husband is ex army and they definitely have to be punctual for everything or else. So he drives me mad when he is sitting in the car with the engine running 10 minutes before we need to leave.

well said Nannanoo, life after all is a two way street. Off to play the Glad Game.

Thank you mumofmadboys - yes, I do enjoy the happy memories of DH, and we shall think of him at Christmas as we always do.
This thread has been a bit contentious, so can I say that I feel people should TRY to be punctual, and those waiting for them should TRY to be tolerant. After all, there's not much else to be done! (Pollyanna, eat yer heart out!).

Nannanoo Thank you for sharing your story. I have only just read this thread. It must have been an absolute nightmare. Hope you enjoy the happy memories.

It was 'Snowy' who said that when she tried to explain that she sometimes lost her keys and was late because her partner was ill and she had a lot on her mind . I guess that sometimes misunderstandings happen on gransnet due to people replying to things without properly reading what has been said .

I do not like being late, it must stem from the time I had arranged to meet a school friend at the swimming pool one Saturday morning in the 60s. There I was, engrossed in the latest edition of Jackie at home when I remembered the time. I scuttled off and arrived about 20-30 minutes late. I can picture her now, standing on the steps to the swimming pool looking dejected. She was very good about it but it made me feel rotten. At least nowadays we are able to phone or text to explain we may be late. Ish comes in very handy too.

I'm off to 'get a life'

Which of course is shorthand for 'we've tried to make you understand our point of view, by explaining how it make us feel, but you don't take other people's feeling on board or acknowledge how your actions can affect them, so .......whatever you want to think, carry on, because I've given up on you'

Or in other words 'whatever'

Whatever

Ps for which whatever would be an appropriate response Anya

Ps I wouldn't say it was becoming nasty, more childish with some immature responses such as those one would expect from teenagers.
Is it the school holidays already??

Stansgran I thought that was my privilege

Which poster was it can't find their keys and that makes them late? (Sorry, can't scroll, tab playing up!)

DH was forever losing his keys (Q"who's had my keys?" - A "no-one, why would they?")
so now we hang keys on hooks and always usually know exactly where they are.

This is turning nasty. As I have a secret talent which I can now put to good use. My secret talent (drum roll)I can kill threads by posting .

Whatever.

omg everyone get over themselves and get a life. just off to have a super Christmas with loved and loving friends, early, late on time - I don't care just love my friends and love my life. Happy Christmas everyone.

Oh, the irony anniefrance

I hate wasting time

But it's OK for you to waste other people's time!

Rather curious that you are on time for professionals, and when catching trains and planes - so there's no inconvenience caused to yourself by having to re-schedule appointments or journeys but it's OK for friends to be left waiting.

We are all busy and many of us are at the mercy of public transport but I personally think it's rude to be persistently late.

Snowy1; you sound as if you're suffering from stress. Even though you're having to look someone else you, perhaps, need to take a step back and look after yourself.

I'm sorry - early, late, whatever - what I really dislike is rudeness - and there is some on this thread..... Is rudeness ever necessary ...?

Really?

Snowy1 Whilst I can see that you have difficulties in your life that put extra pressure on you, like your other half's illness, I'm not sure that being told an earlier time would resolve the issue. If you are extremely busy, stressed out and forgetful, surely it wouldn't make much difference if you're told an earlier time? The same issues - being overstretched and consequently losing keys, etc. - would still be there whatever time you are aiming for? Is it perhaps that because you're busy you try to do more things than you've got time to do, and miscalculate about how much time is left to get ready/travel somewhere? I have done that a couple of times myself and it's easily done but now I make a conscious effort not to try to squeeze in too much before going out.

It is a little inconsiderate to consistently turn up late (I think it's plain rude to consistently turn up very late) and there are circumstances where I wouldn't be happy if that happened - meeting in a pub I'm not familiar with, for instance. But there are worse things people can do I have one friend who does tend to turn up quite late and it is a little annoying, but because she is a good friend in other respects, I don't make a fuss about it.

(and I agree with annifrance - people turning up early for a meal can be a great deal more stressful than them turning up late).

I must say I'm surprised that some Gransnetters are getting so snippy with each other over this relatively minor issue.