Shocks in the Christmas post

I think being affected by the small things show we have heart.
A big ((hug)) for everyone that needs it.

A friend's daughter, the same age as one of mine, 36, died a couple of weeks ago. It has put me completely on the back foot, along with various anniversaries of my own to contend with around this time of the year; 3 years ago I was writing the 'sorry to have too tell you' note to put in my Christmas cards; this year I can't really be bothered to do the cards. My family and friends are busy, partying and socialising and even if I did have lots of Christmassy things to go to, I really don't feel in the mood. I used to absolutely love this time of the year, but not any more. Even listening to Christmas music on CFM is setting me off....... miserable, old bat that I am
{{hugs}} and to everyone who has 'stuff' to contend with

Losing elderly parents at our age is so sad, but in the 'nature of things' and we just have to learn to let go and remember all the good things.

A friend of DD2, who used to be my student, died after an awful illness last year, aged 38, leaving 2 young daughters behind. We've lost other younger friends, to illness, accident and tragically, suicide- over past few years- and it does indeed shake you to the core and make you so aware of your own fate.

But for sure, neither of the ones we lost would have liked us to spend the rest of our life grieving for them in a way that ruins our own life- but would want us to celebrate all that is good in life and live it to the full- hard at times- but wasting what we've got is just too tragic. Tell your loved ones this NOW- so it gives them strength and courage if and when.

Yes getting cards can remind us of sadness at such a happy time of the year can't they.

We lost a dear friend 4 months months ago and today I received his wife's card with obviously her name and the children's, seeing his name no longer on the card reminds us all how difficult life can be, very sad.

Statistically, I believe any death under the age of 75 is considered to be premature, but somehow around 70 their does seem to be a sudden increase, the first snow of winter I suppose.

In the last eighteen months four friends have died between 70 and 74, people I remember as fellow students, or friends of my early adult life. It is very difficult to adjust to the fact that whereas in the past, when friends died the deaths were widely spaced and genuinely premature (45, 51, 64), once 70 is reached, the feeling is that they have run the race and finished it as we all hope to do but are just among the earlier ones to go.

I have found coming to terms with these deaths far more difficult than the deaths of those who died shockingly young. It is not that I am in denial about my own mortality, I know my own age and that statistically I am only a decade or so from my own death, but it is getting used to the idea that I have reached an age where a death of someone of my age is normal and not just the truncation of a life that should have lasted much longer.