Would you...

I wouldn't dream of it. DH is an adult and makes his own decisions about how he dresses and I accept them. If I am honest I would prefer him a bit more styled and, occasionally, more formal, but as I said DH is an adult and makes his own decisions.

He does not tell me how to dress either.

Suggestions yes, rules definitely not !

He knows I have certain sartorial pet hates but by and large, I don't care what he wears. He's never been a scruff. Fortunately, he is the same with me. He knows I won't let him down by looking like a bag lady when we go out! Rules? Too long in the tooth for that!

I saw that article Mollie and got the impression a lot of it was written tongue in cheek.
I think her main concern was not his clothes and appearance but his rapidly expanding girth. I think I would have similar concerns - but fortunately DH is quite exercise and diet concsious and so that conversation has not been necessary.
As far as clothes are concerned, I strike a balance between letting him do his thing, and exerting subtle pressure to avoid sartorial faux pas.

I have been asking my DH to change his hairstyle for years!! All to no avail. He says that his ears are too big to have the sides shorter. Well I don't think so, but he does. He has his own style and is happy with it. On the other hand, I have taken his suggestions on board, he has a good eye for colour and style. I trust him not to guide me wrong when we are out shopping.

My DH slops around the house in tracksuit bottoms and old tops but then so di I When he goes out he looks great. He is slim and most things suit him really. He's not one for 'dressing up' but looks fine in jeans and a shirt. The only thing I can't stand that he wears is what he describes as his 'I don't care, it keeps me warm' winter padded jacket which is awful. Hopefully it will wear out soon or it might disappear.......

Crumbs! I wouldn't dare....but I do 'manicure' his so-called wardrobe. He so rarely buys clothes it's a family joke, so I tend to buy his clothes anyway bless him, he doesn't have a clue!

Ancient or decidedly strange clothing mysteriously disappears who, moi?

What loopylou said most of the time he looks lovely .

I don't need to - that's what I have 3 daughters for!

I had a feeling it might not be exactly what it seemed at first glance Janeainsworth but didn't go any further. Many of these articles seem to be written to provoke a conversation (like the woman who claimed she was too beautiful - ha, ha!).

Interesting you said you'd do something about an expanding waistline. What would you do? That's something I am concerned about but can't do anything about.

I cut his hair and buy his clothes, (I know what he will wear/not wear) if there's something I would particularly like him to wear, I will just put it on the bed, and he'll put it on (easier than having to choose himself ;))

Mollie I do agree the woman sounded like a smug PITA.

If the need arose, I would simply say to DH that I had noticed he had put on weight and ask him what he was going to do about it. As I say the need hasn't arisen.

However I do have a friend who was concerned about her DH and his resistance to her pleas to do something about his unhealthy weight.
She engaged the services of an attractive young personal trainer, and lo! he was suddenly motivated to exercise appropriately and modify his diet.

I think the answer to your problem is that you can't do anything about your DH's expanding waistline. Only he can. To do that, he has to see the benefit to himself of changing his behaviour. (I'm assuming you mean his waistline & not yours).

If I remember correctly from the article, the benefit to the woman in the article's DH was that she would let him have sex if he lost weight

I do have to remind DH to get his hair cut from time to time (what's left of it).

Years ago there was an article in the paper, plus a picture. A wife nagged and nagged her husband, telling him he looked like an old tramp and he could at least put on reasonable clothes even to do the gardening.
The photo was of him cutting the front hedge wearing his dinner suit, dress shirt and bow tie.

Absolutely not. Do as you would be done by and I wouldn't want him doing it to me.

I too have to remind mine to get his hair cut. He hates going but he looks much better (and younger) when he has it shorter.

DH and I tend to keep each other in check. Works for us.

Nooooooo ....I wouldnt dare .....he scrubs up well when needs must

Definitely not!

Having said that, I have just assaulted him with the tweezers to remove a couple of grey hairs from his eyebrows

PS He was very brave

If only it were that simple janeainswirth,

Well Mollie as I said, people will only change if they themselves want to, whether it's losing weight, cutting down on alcohol, or stopping smoking or taking drugs.
I agree, getting them to the point where they want to change is far from simple.
Sorry I didn't mean to sound dismissive, but you asked me what I'd do if it was my DH. I don't know anything about yours, so can only comment in a very general way.

He never shops for himself, so I chuck out old stuff, eventually, and someone buys him new.

I know, and you didn't sound dismissive janeainsworth, honest!

Janeainsworth has raised a point so can I ask what you would make a stand about? And how would you push your point? I can't imagine threatening anyone about anything to be honest, it's just not in me, but how do you encourage someone to make changes when they just bury their head in the sand?

Mollie again this is talking in very general terms.
I would broach the subject by asking if it is ok to talk about it.
Than say the effect whatever it is has on you. How it makes you feel - worried about his health, what the condition will lead to, eg type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, premature death etc. Stress the effect the behaviour has on you and above all avoid criticising or blaming him.
Then ask what, if anything, he can do to change.
Take it from there and support him in whatever he is willing to do, whether it's seek help from the doctor about dieting, or go to a gym, or read about low-carb diets on the net (plenty of good advice on Gransnet).

That's the theory - easier said than done I know, but very often people don't realise the impact their behaviour has on others around them and when they do, they start to see things quite differently.