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What's your idea of good manners?

(33 Posts)
mollie Wed 28-Oct-15 15:21:02

There's an article in today's Guardian discussing rudeness. The writer gives a lot of valid examples but when it comes to being reminded of her own behaviour by friends she calls it being 'spirited' and demands the rules be re-written.

Well, I think checking your messages at the dinner table is rude. I think pushing in in a queue is rude. And I think not putting your hand over your mouth when you yawn or cough is also bad manners. And not thanking someone for their help is also bad manners - although my OH's 'busy, busy' boss thinks it a sin to text 'thanks' because 'the person receiving the text might stop to check the message and miss a train' for example...personally, I think anyone who stops to check messages when rushing for a train is an idiot but there you go...

harrigran Fri 30-Oct-15 12:22:53

When I go out with my friend DH usually drives us, when we get to her house he jumps out of the car and holds the door open for her, likewise when we get to the venue he holds her door so she can alight safely. I, meanwhile at 4 years older, have to struggle from our high 4x4 by myself. He considers that polite.

Bellanonna Fri 30-Oct-15 12:47:05

I suppose it is, though, Harrigran. I rather like that.

Ana Fri 30-Oct-15 12:53:47

He considers it polite to leave you to struggle, harrigran? thlconfused

nonnasusie Fri 30-Oct-15 13:23:05

I agree with all the points made. I also hate it when paying at the checkout I hand my money to the cashier and he/she plonks the change on the shelf instead of handing to me as if I am contagious!! It happens a lot here and I consider it very rude!

Bellanonna Fri 30-Oct-15 13:34:44

But the thing is, Ana, she'd be sitting there for ages while he leapt/crept round to the side the friend was on, waited to see her down, closed the door, then by the time he'd made it back to Harrigran, she - or certainly I - would have got bored and let herself out. And probably if Harrigran just sat there he would go and open her door ?

Bellanonna Fri 30-Oct-15 13:38:57

Nonnasusie, plus they certainly rarely say please or thank you! My own DH is very well mannered, so I can't complain there, but I remember when I lived in Rome and used the bus for work I always thanked the guy who handed out the tickets. Nobody else did, and he always looks surprised. I know it's a different system now, but that was back in the late 60s.

TheMillersTale Fri 30-Oct-15 13:40:38

My favourites-

Saying hello to the shop keeper as you enter if it is a smaller shop as they/i do in France. Not answering my phone or talking to the person accompanying me when I am at the till. I think it is good manners to engage the assistant in any conversation or at least attempt to include them in it. They aren't there to wordlessly serve us.

Holding doors open for laden people, older people, wheelchair bound people. Holding doors open for men too as I leave or enter a room.

Stepping off pavement to let wheelchair bound people pass. Not taking up the whole pavement with a buggy or pram and especially not expecting the whole world to let you pass with your pram etc and then not bothering to acknowledge the people who do stand back -which is my particular bugbear. So many parents locally don't thank you when you let them have priority on the pavement. They seem to think that their precious snowflake deserves to be prioritised above all else, wordlessly without thank you's.

I expect people to stop for me when I am on the zebra crossing or one foot on it, not drive round, accelerate as they approach it in an attempt to drive over it first. I stop for them too and slow down as I approach the crossing.

Being on time and letting people know if I am delayed. Putting my phone away during meals, during chats with friends.