Paying for a wedding

We were happy to pay for our DD's wedding and were pleasantly surprised when they insisted on paying half. It was six years ago and wasn't lavish, her dress cost £150 in a sale and the alterations were £200 to make it fit. We had 18 months to save as they planned well ahead and it was one of the best days of our lives, we loved every minute of it.

Only one of my DSs had a wedding. It was a lovely day and I think the venue was cost price as DiL's father worked there. The couple paid for most of the rest themselves and I gave £1000 for the special honeymoon as I was working then and had some savings. They split up after less than 3 years! My other 2 DSs never married and also split up with their partners. Forgive me if I feel a little cynical about weddings!!!
My own wedding was Registry Office followed by a casserole(prepared by me) for both sets of parents at our flat. My dress was 'Young Maternity' at C&A with a wedding ring that cost £8. That marriage lasted less than 8 years and should have ended at least 3 years before that!

My children's weddings were all very different and all delightful. We paid what we could afford at the time and they were suitably grateful. All of the children contributed substantially to the costs.

I so wanted a low key wedding at the Registry Office. I was only 21 and wanted a white suit I had seen in County Casuals - white mini skirt and boxy jacket.

My mother who had recently been widowed went "mad." She wanted to show me off at the local church in a white dress etc.,

Because I was missing my dad (who had been in favour of the Registry Office) I gave into her and hired a dress. It was beautiful, similar to the one worn by Princess Kate at her wedding, The church was crowded with all my mum's old friends having a good natter about how I looked etc.,

Mum paid for everything with money dad had left. We hired a coach to take the guests to the wedding reception and it was all good fun.

BUT in my heart, I still yearn for the low key wedding at the Registry Office and me in my white suit.

I can't understand the trend for big weddings. My son had one with an evening do, a disco and a Beatles Lookalike Band. My late husband and I paid for the entertainment.

Incidentally, I won the "Bride of the Week" competition in the local paper. I was so embarrassed but mum was bursting with pride. So much for my low key wedding.

I had the wedding you wanted, Falconbird, for exactly the same reasons - I've always hated to be the centre of attention. I have often since had the sneaking feeling that DH would have liked us to have a 'proper' wedding.

Hi Greyduster - did you have a white suit?????

A sort of very pale cream! Bought it in a sale at Selfridges!

When we got married , in 1976, we were buying a house and short o f cash. My parents said we could have the money or a posh wedding. We chose the low key do. A wonderful, glorious day we have always remembered as special.

We got married in a registry office ( husband divorced ) and my Mum and aunties put on a,spread. The weather was glorious that Spring so we were all in the garden. Fabulous day. We left about 5.00 seen off by everyone.

How things have changed!

GREYDUSTER - It sounds lovely. Did you wear a hat?

No, I'm afraid I didn't! I set my face against a hat, much to the disgust of one of the older ladies I was working with at the time who had been brought up to regard hats as essential for any formal situation! I still don't do hats (unless I'm fishing) - even for DS's very formal wedding I refused to wear one. Surprised they let me into the photos really!

I would love to see a photo if you have any. I was married in 1968.

Thank you for your good wishes, MaggieMaybe.

This evening I've been sticking hessian and tartan ribbon onto numberless IKEA kilner jars, to use as containers for the table decorations. I've almost been strangled by double-sided sticky tape! The flowers are being done by dd's friend who is a florist so at least that's a saving.

Wrt big weddings, dd is one of four children as is her fiancé, plus he has 16 aunts and uncles and 38 cousins! so it's not always easy to have a small wedding. Unless you do what my friend's daughter did, and not ask your parents.

There are some somewhere, Falcon, but I've no idea where. 1966 for us, so I expect we'll have to go through the whole bl***y rigmarole again next year! I'm already digging a tunnel!

We paid for our own wedding, my family were in no position to help, we didn't expect anything. When my children married, I wanted to contribute, I said how much I could give them, either towards the wedding they wanted or towards the honeymoon or house they wanted, let them choose. I got a lot if pleasure helping them both, we missed out on a few things but it was worth it.