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How old were you when you had first child?

(98 Posts)
Heirofthedog Wed 16-Sept-15 09:44:11

Hello

I am new to Gransnet (my first DGS is due any day now)!

I was wondering how old you were when you had your first compared to the age your children are having theirs? My son is 35 (my DIL 37) and this is their first child.

I had my first son was I was 23, my next at 26 and the third at 34 (lovely surprise that one!)

LynC Thu 17-Sept-15 20:16:08

I had my son at 19, my daughters at 28 and 31. My son had his two girls at 40 and 42 DiL 7 years younger, eldest daughter 30 and 33 SiL three years older youngest 29 and 32 SiL 1 year older. I do not expect to see my eldest grandson married though!

etheltbags1 Thu 17-Sept-15 20:34:18

I too was an elderly 'whatsit' as I had DD at 31, she had her DD at 26, a more civilised age.

oldgoat Thu 17-Sept-15 21:37:25

I had my first son when I was nearly 27 in 1973. He was due on the 5th August but arrived on the 27th, after four days in labour and eventual delivery by Caesarian section. A young midwife told me "you wouldn't have had all this trouble if you'd got it over with years ago".
How times have changed.

Ruthie150 Thu 17-Sept-15 22:28:22

Hello Heirofthedog, I had my first child at the age of 23 years.

Solitaire Fri 18-Sept-15 05:24:19

My daughter would love to be a mother but at 43 isn't in a relationship. Her brothers have children and she's a generous aunt. She's recently talked of adopting a child but it's likely she would be offered older children, not a baby. From my own experience I don't think that's a great idea. Any thoughts ?

yattypung Fri 18-Sept-15 12:37:31

I had my first daughter when I was 18, my son when I was 19, and then I went 14 years before I had my second daughter but it was worth the wait! She had her son when she was 29.

Anniebach Fri 18-Sept-15 14:18:23

Solitaire, perhaps your daughter may think of fostering as a start ? There are difficulties with fostering and adopting , biological parents still have rights and this could be difficult for the new parents, but it can work

Sillynanny65 Fri 18-Sept-15 18:10:50

I had my first daughter at 19yrs and my second at 21yrs. My first daughter had her first child at 36yrs and her second at 40yrs, my other daughter never wanted children, she is happy with her 2 dogs and 4cats.

granjura Fri 18-Sept-15 18:25:51

22 and 25

Nicksmrs46 Fri 18-Sept-15 19:58:49

I had my first daughter at 20, my second at 30 !!

My first grandchild arrived when I was 46, 2nd one at 50, 3rd one at 57 and 4th { and last } at 61..
all a great source of joy to us x

TwiceAsNice Sat 19-Sept-15 00:25:29

I married at 19 and had DD1 when I was just 22, I was 21 when I got pregnant. DS was born when I was 26 and DD2 when I was just 30, 29 when I got pregnant with her. DD1 had her twins when she was 33 and then decided she wouldn't have any more as she was worried about the risk as she got older. I think it's a pity she never knew what having just one baby was like. She found the twins very hard when they were small, looking back I think she had undiagnosed postnatal depression.

Solitaire Sat 19-Sept-15 06:38:01

Hi Anniebach, my daughter wasn't convinced that fostering was right for her as she wants the child to feel that s/he has a 'forever' home. And you're quite correct that some adoptions aren't necessarily the best option. There doesn't seem a sensible answer for her, having explored all possibilities, some making us laugh!

Marelli Sat 19-Sept-15 06:43:42

I had my first daughter at 16 (she had hers at 34). My second daughter at 19 (she had her 2 daughters at 21and 22). My son, who was born when I was 21, has no children.

Anniebach Sat 19-Sept-15 15:19:22

Solitaire, my daughter feels the same about fostering, she fears caring deeply for the child, and would feel bereft when it was time to part with him/her/them

eccentric Sat 19-Sept-15 15:33:49

My first 21. Second at 40 and third at 42! I am 63 now with two beautiful grandchildren living at opposite end of the country . This does translating holidays in Scotland to see them. My daughter aged 23 lives in Paris and youngest lives locally , whom I almost never see.

Babyboomer Sat 19-Sept-15 19:52:56

Times have certainly changed! I was 31 when I had my first baby in the early 1980s, and like trisher I had "Elderly Primagravida" written on my maternity card. More than once, including in the delivery room, I was asked why I had left it so late to start a family. Now, starting a family in your thirties or even forties is not thought unusual, and even women in their fifties who can afford IVF have done so. My daughter recently had a first baby at 34, and nobody said anything to her about her age.

Mind you, women seem to be thought "elderly" far earlier in those days. I married in my late twenties, and my mother had almost despaired of me. Most of my classmates were in their late teens or early twenties when they married. If you weren't at least engaged by the time you were 25 your mother's friends were dropping hints about missing the bus if you weren't careful. Thank goodness attitudes have changed now!

apricot Sat 19-Sept-15 20:23:48

Had my first at 25, which was older than average in 1970. Girls are now being urged to have their children younger as fertility drops after 30. Great idea, rush into a relationship because your biological clock is ticking and get left as a single parent a couple of years later.
That is exactly what I did, 45 years ago, because I felt I'd got "left on the shelf" and married somebody I hardly knew.

grammargran Sun 20-Sept-15 16:48:36

25, 27 (just) and 30. My middle daughter was exactly the same ages for her three. I'm so glad I didn't have to choose between a career and a family (a rare choice in 1965) - which way would I gave gone? In a few year's time there will be so many old grandparents. It's been lovely to have been a young grandparent to my eight - the oldest is coming up 24, the rest in their teens and 20s with a late comer at nine. Absolutely no regrets at all at the lack of a career - for me! Each to her own.

eccentric Sun 20-Sept-15 17:38:14

My second and third children were born in Tokyo. Now that was interesting.I spoke no japenese, scarry. Both were c sections, with complications. My husband had to learn hospital Japanese fastgrin. But we lived to tell the tale.

JanT8 Sun 20-Sept-15 21:13:52

I had my first child at 23 (1972) and can remember distinctly being classed as an 'elderly primagravida'.
Nowadays as so many women don't even begin to consider starting a family until they are late 30s/early 40s, it seems so ludicrous.

granjura Sun 20-Sept-15 21:46:43

Strange- as in the 70s 18 to 25 was considered normal, and over 25 in some places and normally over 30 'elderly primagravida'. Where was that?

BlackeyedSusan Sun 20-Sept-15 23:25:36

My grandmother was 30, (lost her sweetheart in ww1), had mum at 33.
mum was 37
I was 37 and 39.
My grandmother was a victorian.