Transgender women and GN

bellanonna- both friends who have had the op and now live 100% as women I would call 'she/her' - especially the older one as I never new her as a man. But in the case of the other friend- s/he is still a man, physically and officially, and does not live his/her life as a woman, in many ways- hence the s/he- which is what s/he is - even if his/her heart and soul tells her s/he should have been a woman. I still call her my her male name, and not by her woman name she adopts with some people in some situations. Didn't ask him/her about cross dressing, going out to clubs, etc- as it is none of my business and didn't want to be a 'voyeuse'.

Oops! Here's the link:

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2428114/Sex-change-model-Nicole-Gibson-storms-London-Fashion-Week--makes-mother-proud.html

This gives an insight. She used to run a pub not far from us and in Real Life she's a stunner!

I have never had a problem with people who feel they were born in the wrong body. Just as I have never had a problem with anyone who is gay. We are who we are, and should be accepted as such. Why would I, or anyone, disparage someone just because they are different to me. I have white skin, should I therefore have a problem with someone who has black or brown skin - of course not. Its the same with someone who is cross gender. If we all accepted each other as we are then there would be a lot less strife in this world.

I think she would probably prefer to be referred to as she/ her gj

I only read the thread quickly this morning, and got the wrong end of the stick- and I am sorry. I realise only now that the 'joke' was about the person thinking absent is a 'he' - which I didn't pick up in the langs thread.
I suppose what happened to my friend being called a 'pervert' by one of my guests- made me a tad more sensitive to this.

But the discussion is still interesting, so let's keep the discussion going.
I truly do not get 'transgender' as I was born female and always knew and felt female- but having witnessed the pain and suffering of two people close to me made me think.

I have another friend from when I was a teenager I've met again recently. S/he told me he has always known he was crossgender- but never dared come out until his parents died, in his/her early 60s (he also had to take over his father's firm, which he truly hated- he was a very talented film maker/cameraman). He then had a massive breakdown and it all came out- but too late to do anything about it due to age. Not sure how s/he dresses when going out, or at home- but when s/he came to visit, s/he was wearing a nicely tailored trouser suit and fine, but 'men' shoes, with a large but 'discreet' handbag, and hair tied back with light lipstick. My heart was in my mouth as we saw him get in the train to go home, as there were a few big lads getting on too, and I wondered if s/he would get trouble/bullied- but apparently all was fine. So sad s/he never dared leave home and live the life h/se wanted- nowadays I suppose s/he would. He will be 70 next year.

I didn't see any mocking going on....of anyone...

Now I'm even more confused ..... by ffinn's first sentence.

I dislike people being disingenuous, but dislike mocking even more. If a thread looks dodgy, then either report or leave to go cold.

What a pity about your trans-gender acquaintance, gj. Even more so regarding your English friends.

Who on earth is talking about transgender issues? We all know absent is not cross-gender so this is a total non sequitur.
However if anybody genuinely wants to discuss issues raised by transgender/cross gender experience, I would be interested to read your comments.

Of for goodness sake! If this thread is referring back to the throwaway comment in the other thread then please get a sense of humour!

I do think, or hope, that the current thread is a genuine question about our thoughts on trans gender issues probably 'inspired' by the language thread but not criticising the jokey comment.

If so I wholeheartedly agree that nobody should ever criticise or offend a trans gender person. If they suspect they are cross gender then accept them for that without morbid curiosity and just engage with them naturally. Their gender make up was formed soon after conception and they have no control over it. Brave are the ones who take the plunge and try to fit in with the sex they feel they belong to. I've met several people, mainly male to female and to me they are just people. Unbelievable that you should have heard someone being called a pervert granjura. How ignorant.

Admit to being totally confused by this thread until your post Ana

What's brought this on, granjura? The only reason a sex change was mentioned, jokingly, in the Language thread was because the OP referred to absent as 'he'.

I think what rankles is that people start these threads disingenuinly - even dishonestly. If someone came onto GN wanting to canvas opinion about Transgender issues I am sure it would be treated with respect and intelligence. Its all the subterfuge that's annoying.

I don't think we should mock anyone. I think the expression 'walk a mile in someone else's shoes' is a good way to think.