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Having the house to yourself

(95 Posts)
Soutra Sun 14-Jun-15 09:47:13

With threads about motivating retired DHs I wonder if anybody feels like me about the (fleeting) pleasure of having the house to myself?
Since DH has had to give up driving and is not really up to using the (infrequent) bus service from our village especially on his own, of necessity I drive him to wherever. Net result? If he is out, I am out with him.
However just occasionally I have a "window" of having the place to myself and I love it! I can either achieve masses because I feel motivated or do s*d all, as the fancy takes me!
It reminds me of when the DDs still lived at home and I would sometimes get up at 5 a m just to enjoy the peace of having the house to myself.

inishowen Tue 16-Jun-15 16:33:11

I LOVE the house to myself. First of all I watch all the programmes I've recorded. I can knit while I do this so it's not a waste of time. Then I might look at interesting stuff on my laptop, for as long as i want to. There is a happy medium. I would hate to live alone, but those rare times on my own are so precious. i write this while looking after my lively three old granddaughter today. Need I say more!

Soutra Tue 16-Jun-15 18:37:30

Numberplease is there no way you can create a "den" for yourself in a spare room or wherever? You could call it your Sewing Room/Study/ironing room or whatever but instead of sitting downstairs with the others, the TV and the laptop you could just hide away there! It's why some men have their sheds isn't it?

MamaCaz Tue 16-Jun-15 21:09:17

Since DH retired, I have very little me-time. In winter, he does go out twice a week on a fairly regular basis, but one of those coincides with when I have to work, and the other day I have to drop him off and go do the week's shopping. The rest of the time he just hangs about the house, and he's one of those people who wasn't blessed with the ability to do anything quietly (he can't even open a door without making the whole house shake!), making it very difficult for me to relax or concentrate on anything.

Last year, I was (secretly) over the moon when he asked if I would mind if he went of for a few days to see an old friend.
If only I hadn't told the family - first my parents decided it would be a good time to visit me, then both DSs invited me over to their houses for meals. Hmmm - I know I should be grateful that they are all so kind and considerate, but I was so looking forward to some time to myself! sad

TwiceAsNice Tue 16-Jun-15 23:25:16

I am with shysal after divorcing a controlling husband I relish time on Murphy oewn ALL the time it's wonderful I don't have to answer to anybody and I have lovely friends so I can have company when I want it should have done it years ago!

TwiceAsNice Tue 16-Jun-15 23:26:28

What's with the spelling I meant to write my own not Murphy oewn where did that come from !!

AshTree Tue 16-Jun-15 23:43:07

TwiceAsNice grin

numberplease Wed 17-Jun-15 00:45:41

Trisher, I`ve been suggesting for years that my daughter should join one of those groups, but she`s adamant that she`s not going to. She doesn`t leave the house, because it`s a work of art just getting her over the doorstep, she can only lift her feet a couple of inches, so really struggles.
Soutra, even if I could make the only unused room fit for a "den", it wouldn`t be much use, I`m always in demand for something or other. Even if the phone rings, I have to drop whatever I`m doing to go answer it, daughter can`t get up quick enough, and hubby WON`T answer the flipping thing!
I don`t want the house to myself all the time, but now and aain would be nice. When hubby was still working, and daughter went into hospital, I had it to myself so much that I ended up talking to myself a heck of a lot!

Stansgran Wed 17-Jun-15 09:38:57

Number I think you want a power cut in your house. A push on the fuse board might give them both time to think of you. And buy a phone with various handsets so you can leave one with each of them and ear plugs for yourself so they have to get on with things.

numberplease Wed 17-Jun-15 18:07:44

We have 2 handsets, but hubby won`t answer the phone anyway, daughter will, if it`s handy, but doesn`t like doing.

Soutra Wed 17-Jun-15 18:12:47

Let it ring? Answerphone will click in and you can decide later if you want to ring back or not. As for being " in demand", you could say upfront, I am going to be in my laundry/sewing room for the next two hours, if you need me only disturb in an emergency.

merlotgran Wed 17-Jun-15 18:17:38

I always leave the answerphone on. DH won't answer the phone and if I'm out of reach I'm blowed if I'm going to trip over the dogs in a race to get there. If it's family I usually manage to pick up before they ring off and if it isn't I can ring them back....if I want to.

Anya Wed 17-Jun-15 19:16:52

I love having the house to myself. DH is off on a golfing holiday next week, can't wait. I'll have a quick tidy through, then just clear up after myself.

Peace, calm, time and space all to myself......only trouble is the 'children' DD and DS will try to invite me round fir a meal in the mistaken belief I'll be alone and thus 'lonely' and then I'll get stressed trying to make up an excuse why fob them off hmm

MamaCaz Wed 17-Jun-15 19:48:06

That was exactly the same problem that I had, Anya grin

I've learned my lesson now, and won't tell anyone DH is going if it happens again.

harrigran Wed 17-Jun-15 23:55:41

DH is out for the night, you would not believe the rubbish I have watched on the TV grin

MamaCaz Thu 18-Jun-15 17:14:53

Oh yes I would, Harrigran smile. I've been there and done that!

Another joy is that of being able to eat whatever I fancy, whether it's just a portion of frozen food I've found in the freezer, or some guilty pleasure!

trendygran Fri 19-Jun-15 10:17:53

Having the house to yourself is great when you know someone else will be returning later.It really loses it's appeal when there is no longer anyone coming back. I do still enjoy being on my own sometimes, but would give anything to know that my DH was still 'coming home later' . Even after 6 years plus since he died I miss having someone to share life with - even if he was deaf and conversation wasn't always easy!
Those of you who still have your 'other halves' make the most of the time together . It could all end in a matter of hours .as happened in my case.
I keep busy with friends, volunteering,etc during the week, but weekends and evenings alone are not easy.

Soutra Fri 19-Jun-15 11:09:22

I have a morning to myself smile as DH is in the Planned Care Unit having another 2 units of blood. I had allocated the time to weeding and ironing, so what am I doing still on here ? grin

Jomarie Sat 20-Jun-15 20:56:45

trendygran you are so right. My OH is currently in the other room with the TV on watching goodness knows what and I'm keeping my distance but at least I know there is someone else there even if most of the time I wish he wasn't! Grass is always greener as they say grin

NanKate Mon 22-Jun-15 07:47:28

Trendygran what very wise words.