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Why do our feelings trick us?

(44 Posts)
soontobe Sat 13-Jun-15 11:59:04

One of my DDs is currently flying. In the air as I post.
And I know that flying is safer than car journeys, and lots of other ways of transport.

So why am I unable to settle to doing anything today? I know that she is more at risk, safety wise when she eventually rides in someone's car on the road.

So why cant my feelings adjust to the real reality?
As it happens, I saw two seperate cars magled yesterday after coming across two seperate car accidents. Ambulances and fire engine at one of the scenessad
And yet still, I am feeling as I am. Restless.

soontobe Sat 13-Jun-15 17:53:19

Even on long journeys, do most gransnetters not expect a call?
It is just the way it has been in our household.
Am beginning to think that DH is inadvertently making a problem, when, if we didnt expect a call, then there wouldnt be the problem at all.

petra Sat 13-Jun-15 17:57:51

Soontobe. That's what I thought (you don't fly a lot) Up until a year ago I would have at least 8 flights a year ( only to Spain) My family are flying tomorrow, I don't give it a thought, only that I won't see the DGC for 10 days.

Iam64 Sat 13-Jun-15 18:41:35

Before our daughters went to university, their dad would either lie in bed not sleeping, or sit on the sofa wide awake until what ever ungodly hour they arrived home. He repeated this when they came home for holidays but when they were away at uni, he slept like a baby.

I did worry when one of them was off travelling for a year but Skype, email and Facebook meant we never had more than a few days without knowing all was well. I remember my cousin going off to Goa, overland, in 1968 - nothing heard for months until a postcard arrived to tell his parents he was still alive.

I honestly worry more if mine are driving down the M6 or M1, as they regularly do, than I do if they're flying somewhere.

Margsus Sat 13-Jun-15 18:57:11

DS1 and Dil have a 20-minute motorway journey from our house to theirs, and I always worry until I know they're home safely. DS2 still lives with us, and when he's on a night out, I always wake up 5 minutes before I hear his car coming down the road, even if it's 3 or 4 in the morning. Must be mother's intuition.

mcem Sat 13-Jun-15 18:59:13

In a few weeks I'll be flying with 3 of the 4 DGCs to Paris. I'll send msg's and pic's to DD, not because she'll be greatly worried but so she can share the adventure.
Her illness means she's unable to do things like this with the wee ones - first flight, first trip abroad and much more - so I'll attempt to include her as much as I can.

petra Sat 13-Jun-15 19:14:18

I suppose because my DD (pre children) was a traveller, and we are, it's very normal for us. My DD was away for 2years pre internet days. Cost me a fortune in telephone calls.

soontobe Sat 13-Jun-15 19:30:48

I can see from here, that if I was a frequent flyer myself, I would feel differently.

Statistically, rural roads are supposed to be the worst. Worse than motorways?

I am attempting to be all logical now. Partly succeeding, thanks to all the posts.

Sorry about your DD mcem, I didnt know she was ill.

grannyactivist Sat 13-Jun-15 19:30:51

I don't worry about flights or long distance driving so much, but only since my son in law died I do need more reassurance when my husband and or sons are out on the water sailing/kayaking/canoeing. They text me when going in and again when they get out to say they're safely back on land. My husband especially takes measured risks and so I'm aware that he relies on me to monitor his movements in case there was a problem. One time he took our sons mountain climbing in Norway (during a thunderstorm) and when he didn't come home at the time agreed I set off for the police station to report them missing - and met them, muddy and bedraggled on their way home.

harrigran Sat 13-Jun-15 19:42:21

DD flies frequently, sometimes several times a week as did DH all his working life, I never give it a thought as they are safer in the air than on the motorway.

soontobe Sat 13-Jun-15 19:55:19

DD has landed safely.
She flies again in another couple of hours time.

whitewave Sat 13-Jun-15 19:57:46

harrigran I am with you - although son does not fly as often as your DD he does go very frequently on holiday, to the extent I am never sure if he is at home or not, and honestly never give it a thought.

soontobe Sat 13-Jun-15 20:00:04

Quite harrigran. Today has been a learning experience.

grannyactivist. I didnt know that your son in law had died. So sorry.

janeainsworth Sat 13-Jun-15 21:34:40

Soon my DS hadn't been stabbed.
He was winding me up hmm

Deedaa Sat 13-Jun-15 21:55:04

When we were living in Cornwall and DD was studying in London I never worried at all about her driving herself around. But I used to worry myself silly if I knew she was driving home. Silly really because the drive down the motorway was probably a lot safer than negotiating the every day rush hour traffic in London.

soontobe Sun 14-Jun-15 08:06:37

Glad your DS hadnt been stabbed.

DD rang at about midnight. Everything fine.
Thank you all for your posts.

Nelliemoser Sun 14-Jun-15 08:43:24

I usually let my DD know when we get back home after a visit even if it's just a text and I like her to do the same.
My mum used to do things like going to the corner of the street to see if "whoever" is coming yet. My sister has this tendency as well. I hope I dont get like that.
Mobile phones do make it easier to report delays these days.

Tegan Sun 14-Jun-15 11:03:26

I completely shut myself off from news of any kind when my family are flying anywhere. I don't get any messages to say they've arrived but will later look at flight arrivals etc. When they've been on long car journeys I've been known to drive past their house to see if the car's back blush. When my son lived at home and was sometimes working nights in London, if he wasn't back by the time I left for work I would leave work for a few minutes later in the morning and drive back to see if his car was on the drive, because I couldn't concentrate.

soontobe Sun 14-Jun-15 12:50:57

That is how I felt yesterday, I couldnt concentrate.