Why do our feelings trick us?

My dad always used to say that when you get to the airport the most dangerous part of your journey is over but I also feel anxious when anyone in the family is flying. Daft really but it must be a mother thing.

My MIL never flew anywhere and when she looked after our small children when we went on a two day business trip to Germany she woke them up at 2am when we were on our way home to tell them we had 'landed safely'

DD3 and SIL flying back from 2 weeks in Oz this weekend, learn to live with it. She was in China on a buying trip just a few weeks ago and it was food for thought when she told me the buying team's flights are staggered so that were one plane to go down they wouldn't lose the whole team.
You probably didn't want to hear that Don't worry!

Sensible mil!

Yes, it must be the flying thing I guess.
An older person I know says that she wont ever fly because it is "against nature"!

Oh soontobe....Yes yes yes...know exactly what you mean. Even though I've been reading all about the power of thought...how reading about someone picking up a ripe juicy lemon,cutting it open and squeezing a few drops, drip drip drip into their mouth, can make one actually salivate as if actually tasting the lemon juice. Understanding its all based on primitive instincts to preserve ourselves and family members .....yet I still get panicky if DD have not been on Facebook in last 24 hrs (yes I facebook stalk my children) ...or I do not get a text answer within 5mins of sending them!

Its called 'catastrophising'....jumping to the worst case scenario whilst the pragmatic logical part of the brain in lying dormant knowing full well that they are fine. Hey ho the joys of loving them and having an overactive imagination and over stretched stress receptors (if their are such things) due to years of stress and 'stuff'.

I know exactly how you feel. DD2 flew to Spain yesterday and obviously arrived without incident but I am conscious of the fact that she has the return journey next week and I won't rest until they are back.
DD1 was involved in a horrific motorway accident a few years ago- they were entirely blameless - and could easily have been killed. As it was DSI had badly broken arm which took a year to put right (partly due to incompetence of the hospital but that is another story). Yet still I worry more about them flying. I suppose the reason is that it is possible to survive terrible car accidents but unlikely to survive an air crash.

I am normally ok. Not sure why it has got to me this time. I am trying to get my mind to adjust to the statistical reality, but cant.
Maybe because she is my youngest child?? Dont want to write that really, but it might be because of that.
It could be that I have my own mood.
I am fine really.

HildaW. That is exactly what it is! Thanks. . I will look up catastrophising. I have never heard of that.

And daffyfil too! Poor your DS1

I do not think you are catastrophising - you are just being a Mum. We know that flying is safe, but quite reasonably the idea of our own babe being miles in the air is instinctively a bit of a challenge to the emotions. Think how good you will feel when you hear that she has landed!

My councillor tells me (repeatedly) that when I get into such a mindset (and it can be a very swift downward spiral of illogical worrying that results in my actually having something like an anxiety attack) that I must trace my thoughts back to WHAT I KNOW TO BE TRUE....i.e. what are the facts of the scenario. As long as I have not gone too far down the worry road it does help. I would love to go back to those innocent days when I sincerely believed 'no news was good news'...!

I think that the modern state of instant communication has a lot to do with it. Everyone on their phones etc 24/7.
I distinctly remember going on holiday to my Grandmother's in my late teens...on the coach, 150 miles away and my Mum would not have known that II had not got there safely for several days! To be honest I would return 2 weeks later without so much as sending her a postcard and she would not blink an eye.

We're wired to worry!

I worry about virtually everything written above. DD flying back from Zimbabwe today, flies every few weeks to Uzbekistan, is off to Swaziland in a few weeks all for work.
No wonder I'm grey!

Like you HildaW I have to consciously avoid the worry road, especially as much of the time she's out of Internet/phone contact. I actually worry even more about her driving down the M4.

At least when we fly together to the Canaries for a few days at the end of the month that'll be worry-free (I hope)

Mishap. Yes I am find it challenging!
Unfortunately, and I dont think it is helping, she has got to make another flight straight afterwards. About a 90 minute one.
I dont normally feel like this, so I must try and stop. It makes no difference to the sitation, so I must stop.

And go to facts as HildaW says.
Facts. I need to get a grip.

DH tracked the plane. And will probably track it again later. It is both enjoyable and reassuring, and rather unnecessary, and maybe not helpful.

I'm always restless when my children are driving long distance in rainy weather - that's the only time I'm always happy to know they've arrived safely. Mind you the blighters don't report in either, they would say "unless you hear otherwise, we're safe!"

Not reporting is not on Grannyknot! Probably the best way though.

I am pretty sure that it was wet weather that contributed to the car accidents yesterday. The roads were slippery.

I feel the ability to stay in constant communication (mobiles, email, facebook) has increased the 'worry factor'
I always assume my family members will be OK - I tell them not to let me know when they are leaving or when they will be back so my imagination is not 'with them' and I carry on as normal. (as possible)
it is also less worrying as I am not sitting by the phone - thinking they should have arrived by now - why haven't they called?

I never ask the DC to let me know about arrivals etc even though they sometimes do anyway.Getting older seems to mean worrying on an Olympic scale doesn't it? I try and push any worrying thoughts away as I don't think it healthy to dwell on it, the children would be amused/exasperated if they knew.

I am sitting here thinking that it is high time that I percieve travelling up in the sky as less dangerous than travelling on a road.
I need to deal with facts and not eroneous feelings. I need the new mindset. I need the rethink.

My DH always insists on telling him when they have arrived somewhere if it is a long journey. He doesnt insist on much, so I have to let him have that one I think.

Not sure what I would do if I was on my own. Whether I would want to know or not.

Soontobe. Do you fly much yourself ?

It's normal to feel like that, Soon.
Even when your head tells you there's absolutely nothing you can do about something, your heart somehow says that if you worry, any potential disasters may be averted.

I used to worry when my DCs went out at night in their teens. My parting shot was always 'Be careful and keep out of trouble.'

One night MrA was driving DS to the metro to get the train into town for a night out. It was the very early days of mobile phones.
Five minutes after they had left the house I got a text 'I've been stabbed!'



Your DD will be fine

Perhaps I am abnormal then, because I don't become anxious when my family travel, whatever the transport is. I take a pragmatic view, as well as being terribly excited if they are coming to see me, or I am going to visit them. I've travelled a lot solo and it goes something like this: hassle, excitement, boredom, excitement, hassle and finally joy!

janeainsworth
That is shocking even reading that.
I hope he fully recovered. That was a terrible text.

Littlest DD and SIL are back from Melbourne, apparently. Did I get a text? Don't be silly, I heard from her older sister, just as well I wasn't fretting!

petra. No. I have probably only flown about 6 times. The kids though do each generally make 1 flight a year. I dont know why this one got to me.

ffinnochio. I know I need to take that view. DD really wanted to go on this trip.

Best way to be Soutra.