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Are you a natural "joiner"?

(187 Posts)
Soutra Sat 06-Jun-15 16:24:11

I do find myself envying people who seem to find a congenial group wherever they go, who launch themselves wholeheartedly into their local church/WI/book club or whatever. I am extrovert on the surface, but very reserved deep down, a reserve some people take as stand-offishness.
My mother being German in a small town in Scotland not long after the war never found it easy to fit in, while my father was universally popular but held back from many social occasions maybe because he sensed animosity to Mum and just wasn't prepared to bother with people like that.
Perhaps we should never have moved to a village but stayed in the city where these things matter less as I can say I have honestly tried and still find it a struggle. I was involved with charities in London, but never felt brave enough to try to get involved here; of course I joined the PTA, but again always felt a newbie, got involved at our church ( until it went all happy clappy and I couldn't quite get on with that!), I am Treasurer of our local women's group and belong to a book club, but I often feel I have to force myself to make the effort to join in the chitchat and find it hard to be 100% involved. If I am honest I feel like an observer or an outsider, even finding it hard to join in some of the jolly banter at our GN virtual parties!!
Should I just give over thinking about it? Just take the plunge? Or is it silly to try to be something I am not?

MargaretX Wed 10-Jun-15 16:17:09

Just come back home and find this interesting thread. I always thought I was the odd one, not liking or being able to join in things. I have joined a choir and I play Bridge but mostly I like my freedom. I want to be able to leave if things get boring. I couldn't belong to a book club for this reason.

petallus Wed 10-Jun-15 14:53:34

You could say the tests are bound to seem accurate because everyone answers the questions according to how they see themselves and the results reflect this view.

It would be interesting to check whether significant others have the same view of you as you do yourself. An easy way to do this would be to ask someone to do the quiz as though they are you, answering according to how they see you and then compare the two results.

janerowena Wed 10-Jun-15 13:50:44

Elegran you are of course correct, but it does make you look at yourself more objectively. DS is a Debater and he too pointed that out, while denying it was him - and even when I agreed (to keep the peace) , kept on trying to argue with me. grin

I made all my family do it, and it was very accurate. I got them to do it because I thought it might give me more insight as to why they do, what they do. It was most helpful. DD an executive to a T, DBH an Architect.

I think any prospective newcomer to a family should have to do it!

Bellanonna Wed 10-Jun-15 13:12:09

GK grin

downtoearth Wed 10-Jun-15 13:10:53

Am glad you clarified that grannynot grin

Grannyknot Wed 10-Jun-15 10:59:10

.. I mean a comedy sketch!

Grannyknot Wed 10-Jun-15 10:58:54

downtoearth I can see us in a two-hander grin

downtoearth Wed 10-Jun-15 08:54:13

Think I might be an introverted extrovert confused because when everyone is laughing with me I am fine ,when they laugh at me its time to leave the building I like to be with people but not in my castle which is my territory and I use my humour as a defense to keep people from getting too close.....that is my observation of me hmm

downtoearth Wed 10-Jun-15 08:47:21

grannyknot am on the same section as an entertainer...I do love an audience ...especially a captive one....have been reknowned for being entertaining....could be an adventurous entertainer grin

downtoearth Wed 10-Jun-15 08:42:37

does any one want to go on an adventure grin

Gracesgran Wed 10-Jun-15 07:46:25

Just spotted Juliette and Eloethan are Advocates too so don't feel so lonely now smile. As we are only 1% of the population that would imply that 300 Gransnetters have done the test or, more likely, that some types are more likely to do it than others.

Maggiemaybe Tue 09-Jun-15 23:18:21

I'm not thrilled about being the only Executive either, lona. "Come the revolution, first against the wall, bop bop bop." (Wolfy Smith) grin

Soutra Tue 09-Jun-15 23:15:07

Roman Consul is better than Ford Consul grin

Katek Tue 09-Jun-15 22:37:22

I'm a consul .....Roman perhaps?!? ESFJ-A. Am still working my way through it all.

Grannyknot Tue 09-Jun-15 22:36:18

Thanks Ana smile

By the way I never once selected the "neutral" answer in the centre. Didn't need to.

Lona Tue 09-Jun-15 22:31:18

Elegran You are just too clever for your own good! grin

Lona Tue 09-Jun-15 22:29:08

Oh, come on somebody..............please...... Logistician. I don't want to be the only one!

Elegran Tue 09-Jun-15 22:28:03

When you think about it, everyone doing the test supplied the raw material for the descriptive text themselves in their answers to the questions. We were asked how we would react to various scenarios, then we turned to the pages describing our personalities, which described how we would typically react to various scenarios . . .

Juliette Tue 09-Jun-15 21:11:48

I'm an Advocate.
Me, Mother Theresa and Eloethan not bad company to be in. smile

downtoearth Tue 09-Jun-15 21:04:40

have done again am still an adventurer....

Marmight Tue 09-Jun-15 20:22:20

I am a Consul too (and I'm not at all common grin)

baubles Tue 09-Jun-15 20:04:34

Another Mediator here.

Ana Tue 09-Jun-15 18:45:49

Is that the first Entertainer we've had on here? I think it is!

Congratulations Grannyknot, what a wonderful personality to have smile

Grannyknot Tue 09-Jun-15 18:23:05

Oh my word, I'm an Entertainer. Quite amusingly accurate, because give me a live audience and I feel a responsibility to entertain grin - my family tease me about it. A friend of my daughter's joined an organisation where I was working a few years ago and reported to my daughter that "your mother is always making people laugh" blush However, I can do serious and wise when I have to.

janerowena Tue 09-Jun-15 17:20:30

I just read the whole of my profile, and it was really quite scarily accurate. How annoying to know that I am so predictable!