Any tips for coping with getting older?

I think that is a brilliant attitude, Leticia.

Tegan and KatyK Please don't feel down and have low self esteem. You are invaluable to your friends on here and your posts make such a difference to each and every one of us. I know our children can hurt us, beyond words but they are only one person and I know that that person is the one we have loved all their lives and still do but we cannot chose how they turn out or what they will become and we are not, now that they are adults themselves, responsible for that. But you are worthy, you are special and you are thought a whole lot of by so many. Put a smile on your beautiful faces and think of yourselves, do the house up for yourself Tegan, tell yourself over and again that you are wonderful people, as we all are on here who go out of our way every day to help others and to make our own online community a worthwhile, loving place to visit.

Thanks ruby! I have a cunning plan, which is all to do with the S.O.s birthday later this week. Something I'm going to join that will, hopefully open up our life a bit [and meet more people]. And I've found a new racing club to join [albeit not as easy to get to as the last one].

You're welcome Tegan. I need to join stuff too but how do I do that when I have days I can't get out of the house? On a practical level it is a pain in the posterior to have these health problems.

If I do get down thinking about it I cheer myself up by thinking it is going to come to everyone one day- the alternative to not growing old isn't one I would want!

A sobering thought - I have just taken the details of someone in a nursing home with advanced dementia who is exactly one month younger than me!

Although I am rarely concerned with my age (excepting in a jokey way!) that really pulled me up short.

ruby - Thank you. What a lovely post. You are right of course. My DD is a good person who has done well with her life through hard work. I hope I don't make her sound like a bad person. I think self pity comes into play with me at times. Also kitty's post above puts things into perspective. I am fit and well (as far as I know) and we have a nice life here. for you ruby for your lovely words.

Tegan - have you tried U3A if there is one within striking distance of where you live? They have many and varied subjects. I am learning a new language, there are walking groups and talking groups, art history and many other subjects to choose from. You do have a SO, so perhaps you could find something to do together. I know what you mean. I always feel my rather intellectual SIL finds us boring, but so what, other people don't. Tbh he can be boring too. We do get relegated to the back burner sometimes and you have to factor in that they are a different age so finding friends' chat riveting is more of an age thing. Go out "there" and do something different. I'm sure you will feel you have enriched your life. Seeing your ex slotting in so well I think adds to the feeling of being marginalised but start getting active and finding interests, and good luck with that!

Honda, I'm 75, mentally a lot younger. I giggle a lot with my daughters and do try to enjoy life. I now have pain in both knees and other health issues I don't want to bore you with. There is so much you can enjoy, even when old. I think it's a lot to do with attitude.

About the statins, I am told I have to take them following small M.I. 15 years ago. I would love not to take them because I do wonder whether lots of aches and pains are because of them. Memo to self to look into this.
Good luck to everyone with the ageing thing. It ain't that bad!

I've tried u3a Bella and didn't feel comfortable with it, although I might try again. To be honest I find it's my daughters social set that are rather self centered and don't do much of interest . When I was their age [oh dear..how awful that sounds] I was very political and went on protest marches to save the world for them, but that world seems to now be a consumer based throwaway society. I guess I don't understand the world of the working mother and the stress that is involved.

Honestly when you think about it age really is just a number and you are no different from the person you were in your 20s o r30s. You perhaps couldn't climb Mount Everest, but as you didn't do it when you were young why kid yourself that you would do it now if you were younger. Think of what we have, access to good health care, shelter, enough food, warmth and the opportunity to do so much. Pin a picture of a child in the poor parts of the world and give yourself a mental slap every time you begin to feel sorry for your lot. Undoubtedly some of us have a lot to put up with but we need to never give in and concentrate instead on fighting the bugger, whatever your bugger is!!

Life is for living and if you were suddenly faced with the realization that you only had 6 months of it to live, it would certainly concentrate your mind on what is most valuable in your life.

whitewave I fight that "bugger" every day. It's so tiring but great when you win a round.

I hereby resolve to fight my 'bugger'

I do agree that keeping busy is part of the answer and also trying to do as much as you can for others. We love walking and I really love gardening and travelling and seeing stately homes and the like. I think this is also part of the problem here in Oz where we are that we can't really do any of these things for various reasons. I also quite fancy U3a but it's difficult to get to meetings here due to distance. Thus our dilemma whether to try and do something for ourselves or stick close to the children and grand children.

Interesting to see that others also feel that their children don't take them seriously, and I can tell that their attention drifts sometimes when we are talking to them, although we are being trusted to take care of the 2 kids for a week while DD and SIL have a much needed break. DH says they keep us young but we are finding it a bit exhausting to be honest and I thought I would be able to cope better but don't really want to admit it in case they think we can't cope at all. I think the young ones forget that we are getting older and expect us to be able to do the same things we could 10 years ago!

I find that the boys are now only interested in computer games etc and I find it hard to get them interested on other things..in fact, if I try they'll say 'I'm bored now, granny', so I've all but given up.

...I keep thinking of that phrase 'cluttering up their lives'. At first, reading it I found it a bit shocking but the more I do think about it the more it sums up exactly how I'm feeling about my relationship with my family these days.

Well ruby's advice above is sound advice. I am going to think about me and my DH a bit more as I said above. I have also started helping out in a primary school one afternoon a week, helping little ones with their reading who don't get much help at home. It's lovely. They tell me about their lives and little troubles. I have also helped out on a couple of school trips. I am guilty of sitting about feeling sorry for myself since I retired. I am fit and healthy and realised that there are a lot of people out there who need help.

My two youngest GSs have I-pads but also love playing board games. The younger one (7) is a poor loser and has been known to sweep the whole board onto the floor but no doubt he will mature.

lol anno same thing here, GS is 8, we played a game Monday "Wheres Wally" he too is a very bad looser, his fav game is a box of Tiddly winks that I bought for about a £1.

Just doing some tidying up and came across two bits of paper telling me the results of my pregnancy test being positive, which has left me in bits. Why is all this getting to me now, after all these years? I'm beginning to wish that I wasn't the sort of person that kept everything; I thought at the time it would make me happy but it just makes me sad [and I can't bring myself to throw it away].

Get out of bed...smile...and go with the flow.

Throw it away if you feel it would help, Tegan. I can imagine the lump it brought to your throat seeing it. You brought up two lucky little children who were much loved and you were always there for them. Now they've grown up and are presumably happy in their own circle of friends. Thats good and it means you've done a good job. They often strike out and do their own thing. You have what sounds like a good relationship with your SO, and you are already planning his birthday - update us later! Sometimes we do feel sad with the turn our children take and we would like them/ things to be different but they're not and we can't alter that. My GCs are are little, 3, 2 and 1. My DDs left it late and at 75 and 82 we don't have the energy we once had. So I sont yet get to play computer games with them, but can understand they don't have a huge attention span and if your grandson got bored that's par for the course. My 2 y.o. grandson just toddles off in midstream if he gets bored with my reading. Not too flattering.
And yes, the adult children don't really want to know the ins and outs of our lives so I often don't bother trying. Please don't worry overly about her group of friends. Do something with SO after his birthday, and tbh I'm sure you will find something at the U3A that might interest you. Or go together if just to the talks. Give it another go! I'd be tempted to chuck the bit of paper too! Best wishes x

I think I was the one who instigated the phrase "cluttering up their lives" and to be honest after I had posted it I thought how horrified my children would be that I would think like that, so I'm not surprised you found it shocking Tegan and I wish I hadn't used it.

But, Greyduster, it sums up EXACTLY how I feel therefore I'm glad you said it.

Tegan, I can identify with the 'cluttering up of their lives', I think. It does so depend on how we can shrug these feelings off, though - and IF we can.
We (DH and I) have never been invited to our DC's for meals or been invited out with them, either. It just never seems to occur to them that we may just really love to do something like that (the sort of things other families do). I'm really quite envious of those who are included in family gatherings, or who have their DC's just drop by. However, it's just how it is. Maybe I've brought them up this way. It doesn't really upset me, but as far as DS is concerned, I would really like it, if sometimes he just messaged to see how we are (without there being an ulterior motive, anyway....)!

It really gets to me when they talk [in front of me]about things that they are going to do with other members of the family, as well; as if they don't realise that I'd like to be included.