Sing an illness.

You Really Got Me Going by the Kinks (the Ex-Lax song)

I Got Arrythmia, I got Life!

The Wind beneath my ( bingo ) Wings. When I flap that is.

Needles and pins
Do you hear what I hear? (tinnitus)
They’re coming to take me away, ha ha
Poison (rushing through my veins)
The first cut is the deepest

Killer Spleen

Fanlike Fanny (which is what I thought the title actually was when I first heard it!)

Asking the doctor for advise on premature ejaculation, Dickearly, dickearly Doc

Syphilisis's Mother Said

I think there are going to be a lot of loud groans around the country tomorrow morning.

The World is Just a Great Big Bunion.

Oh I like that one, though I say it meself...

I Wannna Hold Your Gland.

merlot!

Last Pain to Clarksville

It would be very easy to go down the Smutty Route - you know the one, it goes something along the lines of

'Ejaculations! And Lubrications!'

but I won't. Well, maybe 'Penis' (for Venus).

I shall ameliorate that with Smelly the Elephant. Who obviously had a body odour problem.

The Itchysore Linesman.

Itchicoo (sp) park

Chattanooga atchoo atchoo !

heroes and villains Herpes and Chillblains

Strawberry Fields Hayfever

Back in the US-SARS.

Massage In A Bottle.

Circumcision, Theme tune to "Free Willie"

What`ll I do when you are in the loo,
And I wanna go too, what`ll I do?

Courtesy of Mr. Ken Dodd.

If you're so ill that you need an ambulance:
The sound of sirens.

If it's a Friday or Saturday night in E & R:
Another one bites the nurse.

If it seems as if you not going to make it:
Please freeze me (oh yeah).

I hate mump days.