Feeling sad

Facebook's toxic ninathenana. I've been badly stung by it. Sometimes remarks have been put up there by my estranged daughter that have really hurt me, it can be used as a tool. Yes, this parenting lark does stink for a lot of us and f/b with all the power to its elbow, really doesn't help.

Exactly right bohemian It is toxic. I stay well clear of FB ! Always have, always will. I have no desire to get involved with it at all.

I know some of the younger ones ( and some who should know better) use it as a method of secret communication (whatever happened to talking?) but I figure what I don't read on FB can't hurt me.

Try not to worry nina I think some people use FB as a kind of weapon. They post things designed to cause the maximum effect (usually hurting those they love) and of course once it's there, it can't be taken back.

totally agree gillybob. ninathenana

I read your other thread nina and you would be feeling sad knowing things are difficult for your DD and you can't make it better.

FB can also be very supportive, my niece is going through a terrible time at the moment and I don't think she would be managing without messages and offers of help. Of course she is getting personal support from her family and close friends but it's lovely to see the positive messages from others too.

I hope your DD is getting lots of support.

That's a worry for you Nina. . You will know whether DD is being genuine or not and as you are aware of her problems, it must be a concern to see it on fb! She knows she can rely on you so all you can do is to be there.

PM me if it helps!

Thanks kitty x

Her status was not aimed at anyone and was not malicious in any way. It was just a testament to how she's feeling right now. Believe me she has just cause.

one of the reasons I don't do FB. although would like to do it sometimes, you tend to see/read things you don't always want to know..hope things are soon sorted for your family.

Don't feel you can do nothing; just knowing you are there is enough sometimes.

Nina my dd does the same thing. She's just gone through a dreadful time and her fb friends have been very supportive.
It's not Facebook that's bad, it's the people that post bad things.

Thanks Mishap

Have to agree Lona, Facebook is not bad just the people who post bad things. I find it great for keeping in touch with friends and family and seeing photos I would otherwise miss.
If DD puts on her profile that she is unwell or hacked off I get in touch and I can talk to her, she lives abroad and can't just pop round to unload.

nina - you are right, this parenting lark can be a nightmare at times. for you. I keep off Facebook. It almost caused my DD and myself to fall out permanently. I have to bury my head in the sand at times and go with the 'what I don't know can't hurt me' line to preserve my sanity.

FB isself is not toxic at all - it's the way some people use it!

Clearly your DD needed to say what she said, so at least you know, and I think that is useful. But then you can't DO anything. But then very often we can't anyway! Vide several posts demonstrating this. Yep, being a parent is sometimes so, so hard, even now.

I'm sorry your daughter is going though some difficult times ninathenanna and hope the problems will resolve.

As others have said it is not FB that is toxic but some people who use it. If FB did not exist there would still be problems they would just come to light in a different way. FB also does much good.

i have teen daughter aged 14 who is all over the place at the minute, i struggle to even communicate with her and i have suggested everything, she is withdrawn, down and there are other signs too if u can ask the school to keep an eye on her, changes in behaviour, eating patterns socialising with others, contfrontation never worked for me face book is mental get a special internet person out to put in proper safe guards on all it equipment and track her stuff it provides peace of mind, i have learnt as well that if i get busy with something and leave her for a while its shows her that im still able to function and enjoy the wee things i like even if its only a programme i like or reading a mag then sometimes we get a wee chat when her moodhas changed a bit, also get support through a local womens group to teach you coping skills and you will meet others going through the same, and best of luck to u all,

Ruby6918 She is an adult, with two children of her own and not living at home. She's just having a hard time at the moment.

My DD vents on fb too, I just pick up the phone and ask if she wants a shoulder - we've done exactly that just now. Things just get on top of them, it's a bit like a call for help when it goes on FB. Rather than sit and stare at her walls she writes down what she is feeling, I think it's healthier. It's not as if she does it enough enough to look needy. she says it's easier than ringing around all her friends to see who else needs a natter and a bit of sympathy. It's probably her equivalent of putting it on somewhere like this. DD doesn't do forums.

Call me old fashioned then but I have no idea why anyone would put their troubles on FB when they have a mum or a friend at the end of the phone. Yes, I know it's what they do today but I will never understand it.

I like Facebook and use it as a quick way of keeping up with busy friends all over the place. We have a laugh, we look at each other's photos etc. If anyone ever did anything unpleasant or simply something I didn't life I would just 'unfriend' them and that would be that.

I agree Nina that parenting is hard and sometimes relentless. Oh for the days when they were small and their problems could so easily be solved.

Just because they are adults doesn't stop us loving and caring for them. DiL hates that we help DS (probably because she doesn't get any from her family) and taunts DS about it saying the children won't need help when they grow up because of her perfect parenting! She has a lot to learn.

KatyK what I find incomprehensible is the likes of my nephew's wife who quiet regularly posts pictures of what they're having for dinner. like anyone gives a ......

The Idiot does that especially when his plate is overloaded!

nina I have a friend who only ever posts her boasts! She never 'likes' or 'shares' anything anyone else posts. I just laugh. Nowt so strange as folks.

Nina - when I was on FB I used to see people posting pics of their dinner. How odd.