Soop's X Special Kitcheners

number it does seem to be rather soon, he has not tried stairs and I doubt if he has walked to the loo unaided or washed himself or better still, showered by himself. The simple things have to be tackled first, you are not in your first flush of youth and you also need a night's sleep- sorry, rant over.

So sad about your friend soop. Are any of his other friends able to visit him? I know a lady the same age as my BiL, 86, she cannot get around very well but has always been a sociable chatty person and although she is now widowed and living on her own she has at least 5 or6 people calling in to see her every week. Some to do something for her, washing or gardening, one to take her shopping and others just for a chat because they enjoy her company. Most of them can't stay very long but it keeps her in contact with people and stops her being isolated.
My BiL on the other hand, though sociable at times has always preferred his own company and since he was widowed has turned very inward and become very lonely. Since he had to stop driving this has become worse and now his health has declined as well. I'm not saying that his health is anything to do with his isolation, just that he has been very unhappy at times.

number, I've had two recent cases of people being discharged from hospital seemingly too quickly. One was DH who really would have been better with another 24 hours in hospital. That wasn't potentially serious and we managed anyway. The other, my BiL mentioned above who was really very poorly when they wanted to discharge him. Our nephew who is now looking after him had to really stand his ground and insist that he could not cope without some sort of care package.
We used to say that Portuguese hospitals kept people in longer than British ones did but that doesn't seem to be the case now. Although they are extremely good in many other ways.

Lona, I wish my UK base was nearer you. My dishy, not so young, chiro is taking a sabbatical. He is having what sounds like a delayed Gap year. He left only 24 hours before I came back this time, he has got our address in Portugal though.

Bella, yes I am in UK at the moment! I've PM'd you. You are right 20kgs isn't very much. I came with a case that weighed only 15 kgs., and that included 2 Portuguese loaves, 3 birthday presents. 1 anniversary present, DD1 has been married 25 years,
a box of marzipan Easter cakes, 2packets of chocolate dragees,(GD's still need chocolate when they are in their twenties) and what felt like 10 ton of sugared almonds.
Maybe not quite ten ton of sugared almonds but I have got enough to share with everyone in the kitchen and there is a marzipan bunny or chicken for each of you as well.
This seems to have become a very long post, I must make sure that I call in to the kitchen more frequently.

Oooh, sugared almonds, why haven't I had those for such a long time?

Just a minor vent - I have been looking for ramekins all day, I wanted them to make a starter in for tomorrow. I searched throughout every cupboard, all over the house, in DBH's workshop and study, because he is often the culprit as he uses them for late night snacks. He is away singing in a concert so couldn't ask him.

In sheer desperation I asked DS if he knew where they were, when he came in. 'Oh yes', he said. 'Dad gave them to me to keep the bits and bobs in when I was dismantling the computer. He said they were his!'

Well, hubby came home this afternoon. I rang the ward this lunchtime to see if he was coming home or not, I was told that they were waiting for physio to do a stairs assessment. Hubby rang me at 3pm to say he was ready and was daughter on the way. We arrived, to be told by the nursing staff that physio weren`t happy to discharge him without certain measures in place, i.e. handrails upstairs, and the discharge nurse said he didn`t want to discharge him under those circumstances. But he was shouting and getting quite nasty, with both me and the nurse, me for siding with the nurse, so in the end we brought him home. He can`t sleep upstairs till the handrails can be installed, which won`t be till after Easter at the earliest, so he plans to sleep downstairs in his recliner chair. He`ll soon find out it`s not that comfy when it`s used for sleeping! He had me in tears at one point, and my daughter said I was over reacting, and spoiling things for her dad!

Oh dear number my heart goes out to you. Just get what help you can from your family and tell yourself " things will get better". Say it enough and you will start to believe it, that is what I do .

Oh number I really feel for you. I think men often think they will feel better at home but completely forget that in hospital everything is arranged for their comfort and they have trained people looking after them. People who are likely to be younger and fitter as well.
He will probably sleep badly and doze all tomorrow but I hope he says he is sorry for upsetting you.
Try to have a good night's sleep and don't worry tonight.
x

number Look after yourself too, you can only do so much.

number
I can only echo what other posts have said, and hope things rapidly settle down.
Please take care of yourself and accept any offers of help - you'll need as much respite as you can get!

Number That's an awful lot you have on your plate. Do take care of yourself.

Oh, number, I'm so sorry to hear your latest news. Do hope everything gets sorted ASAP and that you don't wear yourself to a frazzle

Today is my sister's party, there is a marquee in the garden which looks very pretty decked out in lilac and cream. Looks like a wedding venue

My sister has had good news from her latest scan. The tumours on her lungs are no longer visible, the one in her neck has shrunk, and there seems to be no spread of the cancer. The 'miracle' drug seems to have had the desired effect so that is happy news.

Looking forward to seeing lots of family and friends today. Just wish my back wasn't aching, though I believe it is due to the unfamiliar mattress rather than anything I did when I fell.

It's raining at present, let's hope it clears by lunch time. Have a good day everyone

number - men can be so bloody minded can't they?

Janer, ramekins - why didn't you say! What sort would you like? Denby ones, glass ones, free with gu puddings ones?

I love sugared almonds, Dusty, but virtual ones are probably better for my teeth!

number I am so sorry to hear that your husband is and has been totally irrational. Your daughter is not exactly helping either. The problem is if he has an uncomfortable night he may take it out on you verbally. Please try to look after yourself.

If you were spoiling things so much for her dad, maybe your daughter could do it better while you go out and have a coffee somewhere, trying to gain the strength to fight another day

Bella that is good news- I do hope that the weather improves and that you enjoy yourself meeting up with family members again.

number, it sounds as if you've just about reached the end of your tether. I'm sorry to hear that your DD was not more sympathetic. Mums are supposed to be invulnerable and your children are shocked when the cracks appear. Maybe a quiet chat with her will show her how much the whole situation has taken out of you. Meanwhile ((((hugs)))) and some for Easter.

My heart goes out to you yet again numberplease and I could not agree more that you need organised help. You must have a family discussion and put it to them that they need to share in Dad's care. Different people may only be able to help in limited ways (I think you said your DD has learning difficulties?) and others will have to fit their help around work, but that is NO REASON for it all to fall on you. Hopefully there will be some action at home by the people who arrange handrails, a stool for bath or shower, and anything else they feel you need after the holiday weekend. Do not be afraid to speak up. Do you get Attendance Allowance for your family situation? Might be worth asking ( hope someone can advise where) for some help with the extra work and inevitable expense.
I am worried about you because you are exhausted already and zi also know what it is like to have DH at home after a longish time in hospital where everything revolved around him.
Don't let yourself be run into the ground - tell the rest of the family to pull their weight too.

Oh dear Number
Men can be so difficult can't they?
Unlike us ladees who are always sweet and and gentle and PATIENT!
Bella that's really good news. Hope your darling husband is coping. I still think of you both with great affection.

Sorry to hear of your problems, number. I hope things quickly settle down. My ex behaved like this earlier this year - when he got home, he was so nasty to his partner that they readmitted him on the grounds that he hadn't really been ready for discharge. He acknowledged that he had been acting up but that doesn't make it any easier for close family. I hope you get the support you need

number get in touch with your local Carers Centre, you'll find it on the Carers Trust website and they can offer you advice about Attendence Allowance and free services for unpaid carers.
Thinking of you x

Oh heavens number, you poor thing, I do feel for you. I think you probably need to keep out of his way somewhat - tricky I know. He's going to take it all out on you, isn't he. I suggest your DD stays with him for a couple of days, I have had friends who have had difficult parents/OHs to look after and it's amazing how other family members are so quick to criticise and yet so slow to help out.

kittylester I already own 20, I have no more room in the cupboards to store any more - apart from of course when they all disappear and send me demented thinking I have put them somewhere and lost my memory!

DBH has been severely reprimanded.

Bella that sounds lovely, I'm so pleased that you have at least one worry off your plate.

I had a long discussion with a nurse friend the other night, who specialised in neurosurgery. She told me of a patient she has currently who has the same problem as my niece. She said that she has now had 21 operations averaging at more than one a year, a titanium skull and a spigot fitted to drain off the accumulating liquid. I felt a little ill after all her very detailed descriptions, and am wondering whether to warn my sister in advance, or leave it. I think I shall leave it, seeing it here in print, after all, it may not happen, but at least it does give hope.

Bella that's such good news. Great to hear that the treatment has been working

Bella What great news about your sister, you can relax and enjoy your break more knowing that.
Here's hoping the sun shines and you all have a lovely day!

Bella I am utterly delighted to hear the latest news regarding your sister.
number I feel very sad for you. You really do not deserve to be shouted at. You have been such a helpful and caring wife. I could shake your husband and tell him to "grow up"...easier said than done.

I've been manning the home-baked cake and jam stall at the village hall. Hence I'm running really late. I hope to get back to read all your messages before the end of the afternoon. That's a promise.

MacSporran has an appointment at long last with cardio vascular surgeon who will be visiting Campbeltown next Friday. Such good news. It appears that his file went on a wee walkabout.

janerowena I think it's probably best to not give your dear niece too much information. I agree that the procedure sounds awfully daunting. Hasn't surgery come along in leaps and bounds and aren't neuro surgeons an amazing group of people.

number returning to your present problem...as Soutra so rightly says the business of caring for the newly released patient shouldn't fall entirely on your shoulders. You also need a break. You will get assistance providing you ask for it. Be assertive...if you can. If folk think that you are coping they will leave you to it. I'm very cross with Mr number

Me too, I hope he calms down now he is at home. Ex was vile when he was ill, I used to be so grateful for a garden that I could escape into. And that he couldn't follow me. If he is horrible, say to him' Be nice, you need me at the moment'.

*soop I think I should stay quiet on reflection, I think the horror of the picture it paints in the mind is worse than the comfort of knowing you shall perhaps live, almost!

Soop, I`m so glad that MacSporran`s file walked back again, best wishes for Friday.
Bella, so pleased to read the good news about your sister. I hope the sun shone and that it was a lovely party.
Soutra, my eldest daughter doesn`t have learning difficulties, she is badly crippled with rheumatoid arthritis.
Hubby slept on the settee last night, it`s only a 2 seater, so his feet were hanging off the end (he`s 5`11"). Then this morning, he fell coming through the door from the kitchen to the living room. I couldn`t pick him up, and had to ring my daughter, who came with her husband. Later on, the district nurse came, was horrified when she heard where he`d slept, and then about the fall. She said that in her opinion he wasn`t physically or medically fit to be at home, and that he should go back to the hospital. He said no, but she overrode him and phoned the hospital, making arrangements for him to be re-admitted. So he`s back there now, agreeing that he made a big mistake, and he`s settled on a different ward to before. RESULT!! Thanks to everyone for your verbal support xxxxx