Re: sisterly affection....don't make me laugh

Following on from Mishap - 10 years' ago a friend had an extremely manipulative and demanding mother, aged 89, who was pandered to because she was obviously near the end and no-one wanted to upset her - understandable given her age.

She is now 99 and just as bad!

Exactly! - maybe that is what is really meant by the "selfish gene"! My FIL went on for ever, and they don't come more selfish than he was!!

I have just been watching the end of the film Saving Mr Banks. I dont know if you have seen it.
In it, the writer of the film has to forgive herself for things she thinks she did wrong or felt she may have done wrong, in her childhood.

Do you feel anything like that[you alluded to a complicated childhood]

I can really sympathise with you Vampirequeen. At my eldest daughter's wedding, my sister and her husband had a huge row at the reception to the absolute embarrassment to me my OH and my daughters. Argh!! A year later it was my youngest daughter's wedding and I begged her not to invite my sister, but she felt she should. 'On your head be it' I said.
My sister promised me she and her husband would 'behave' as the row was fuelled by too much alcohol. So she said they wouldn't drink too much. Well they did and the same thing happened. We had to ask them to leave and it caused my daughter and I to argue. Thankfully it didn't last long and we had a great day. But since then I haven't spoken to my sister. I was so upset and angry with her. Still am when I think about it.

soontobe if anyone needs to write letters it is Vampirequeen's mother not VQ. She had nothing to forgive herself for. It is her mother who is behaving in an awful and manipulate way.

I very much doubt that vq has anything to forgive herself for.
But children often think they are responsible for things that they are not responsible for.

vampireq I wonder what would happen, if your long suffering and very loving dh gave you an ultimatum "Your mum or me"?
Do you think that would make you feel strong enough to put his needs and yours, first?
I do know what it's like to be afraid to stand up to someone but it's very liberating when you do.