Re: sisterly affection....don't make me laugh

Australia hardly seems far enough away vampire I suppose you should be grateful she's not in the next street. I just can't understand why people have to behave so appallingly! There are a few people I really detest but i try to behave civilly to them - in fact I am more likely to be really nice to someone I really dislike while friends tend to get what I really think.

I think you deserve a medal for getting through that horrible evening! Even if your being there had caused a problem with the money, to have her asking you for money on the evening was incredibly rude. She could have spoken to you later - and perhaps have explained why you were left out. Or on second thoughts perhaps there was no explanation except sheer vindictiveness.

I totally agree with what you say about large houses and accumulating money for the sake of it. I've got a roof over my head and my family are all still talking to me and that's my priority. Stick with Gransnet vampire where people enjoy talking to you and are interested in what you've got to say

Thank you. You've all made me feel so much better.

DH is livid about it esp as it's triggered some of my anxiety issues. He had to suggest I got dressed today so that he could open the curtains. I'd have happily left them closed and shut out the world. I managed to stay indoors all day but this evening he suggested a short walk. I didn't want to but I know from experience that the longer I put something off the harder it becomes. It took a while but he finally got me out of the front door and I shook and cried my way around the block. Fortunately we didn't see many people because that would have made it even worse.

You can do it, vq. No-one will have been impressed by your sister's actions, so don't let her bother you.

vg I'm sorry you've been so affected by this. I hope you can put it behind you and feel better soon.

www.gcrunner.org/images/Gold-Medal.jpg
For you VQ! You behaved with dignity.

Well done Vq Don't let that toxic sibling dictate how you feel/act. You're up and about now. The infection has left your emotional system metaphorically speaking. Oh I was fuming when I followed your experience. Had I been there, I would have really wanted to slap her silly.

alex a good slapping was called for, right enough.

Don't let it beat you vampire - I am not surprised it has tipped your centre of gravity a bit; it would have done this to anyone. Put that medal on and be kind to yourself - give yourself time to recover gently. We are all here for you.

The medal is wonderful, thank you.

DH is being his normal wonderful self, gently encouraging and supporting me to do the things I no longer want to do. At least I don't feel quite so close to doing something drastic to myself.

This is my biggest setback since this episode of illness started in 2011. Normally I say my choices are mine and if I do negative things to myself then it's down to me but this time I really do blame my sister for pushing me over the edge.

The blame is correctly placed Vampire. You rest and get better with your DH beside you. A sorry episode which will soon be behind you.

Exactly what wise Mishap said!

Only just caught this thread and read it through. What a sad person your sister is if she has to go to such lengths to put you down. She must feel very inadequate, having to try and prove herself all the time. Your having to ask to borrow money may have seemed demeaning to you at the time, but it put her in such a bad light. Going to the party when she thought she'd cut you out and maintaining your dignity took courage and self control a lot wouldn't have managed (not me for one).

Respect!

Look after yourself. I hope the sun shines for you soon

What a strong woman you are, vampirequeen. You have done so well. The ones who matter are the ones who you love and cherish - just as you are loved and cherished by them. Stay strong and stay with us. xx

Well done you Vampire you behaved impeccably

Thank you everyone. Your positive comments have really helped me.

vq well done, and open those curtains (it was a lovely day here today, so I hope it was where you are). Your EDH loves you and you know that you have behaved really well and got through that weekend. It is in the past now.

I am still giggling about your BIL's shoes in the cupboard . He does sound like a control freak and controls your sister, so presumably your sister takes every chance she can get to control other people to make her feel better.
Obviously your DM is not keen on that son-in-law either! Is he an Aussie? Or has he taken on Aussie Rules? Australian males can be somewhat chauvinistic to say the least.

(Now I will get a lot of replies from people who have the most wonderful, house-trained, docile Australian male relatives. )

DH, not EDH (I assume he is not an Elderly DH, that was a typo!)

You are right there Rosequartz, I have to comment, they are no more chauvinistic than Englishmen, in fact they are very similar.

VQ I can imagine you feeling unwell from all the stress, I hope you are feeling much better now.

Faye perhaps the ones I know are stuck in the past .....

Unbelievably some of us do have people like this in our lives and they do not deserve us. Until they can behave better, they do not get us.

You stay strong and leave her to her own devices. She has to live with herself after all. Lots of understanding for not wanting to go out and to keeping the curtains closed. I did this for about two years but now live in a new house and my curtains are wide open, I chat to people and say to hell with the ones who want to make me ill. There are some wonderful people in the world, we need to seek them and ignore the rest. Xxx

Your sister and her husband sound like they have a lot of problems to me. Concentrate on yourself and getting well.

And well done DH.

I saw someone recoomend a book by Dr David Burns called when panic attacks.
I ordered it myself [I got it cheap secondhand from Amazon].
Lots of ideas and suggestions and exercises in it.

He is English but is a very controlling man. He is always going on about how wonderful his life in the army was and pushing my nephew in that direction. Needless to say he never saw active service. DH, who saw horrific service in Kuwait, says it's the difference between being a soldier and a glorified Boy Scout.

Are you feeling better today vampire?

DH had to go to Leeds early this morning. I have pottered about but haven't got dressed or opened the curtains. He'll be back soon and will make sure I don't do it again tomorrow. I needed a day away from the world outside. The virtual world is much safer....well I feel in more control.

Just the one day vampire - you need to be up and about tomorrow. We'll all be there to set of the alarm clock and boot you out of bed.