Joke corner

I don't get it izzy!

Oh I got it ?

Izzy Perch = a type of fish.

This is one of my Grand-daughters favourite joke(she is 4yrs) What do you call a 3 legged donkey?............Wonky.

Just what I needed today and thanks for the link to the other page.?

The most idiotic joke I know, which has absolutely no meaning whatsoever, but I find hilarious is: -
"What's the difference between a duck?" One of its legs is both the same.
Don't try to understand it, it is totally unintelligible, but incredibly funny!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea!

Q. How do you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A. A weasel is weaselly identified but a stoat is stoatally different!

Patient: Doctor, doctor, Can you give me something for my liver?
Doctor: Certainly! Here's a pound of onions!

I love doctor, doctor jokes ? Here's another one:

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't stop stealing things!
Doctor: Take these pills. If they don't work, get me colour TV!

A couple of my late husbands jokes.
A Jew fell over and when he got up apparently crossed himself. Why? He was asked. Spectacles, testacles, wallet and watch , was his reply.
Before the days of modern hearing aids. A market trader was offering hearing aids for half a crown. "but they are only pieces of string with a knot at the end." "You stick the knot in your ear and the other end down your shirt, everyone knows you are deaf and shout out loud."

grandmattie That was considered hilarious in my father's family, too. It always raised a laugh - paeticularly if told when a stranger was present who couldn't work out what was so funny.. The one always told with it was -
"Why does an oven when it is hot?
Because the more you rub it, the faster."

No, there are no typos in that. That is it.

Love it!

Naughty 'racist' joke, but this was in a birthday card in Clinton's and I laughed myself silly (all alone):

Three men having a chat:

Englishman: 'My son was born on St. George's day, so we called him George'.
Welshman: 'Oh - my son was born on St. David's day so we called him David'.
Irishman: 'That's exactly what happened with my boy, Pancake'.

And before you get cross - I have a lot of Irish in me and my grandmother was a Nolan from County Kildare.

Man holding a ladder says - this is my stepladder - I never knew my real ladder.

There were two goldfish in a tank; one said to the other - 'you drive and I'll man the guns'

There were two cannibals eating a clown; one said to the other - 'does this taste funny to you?'

Me and DH went so see Jimmy Cricket - remember him? - last night. This is his joke.

My dadda's bought a caravan. First time he took it out he was stopped by the police.

DADDA: 'I'm sorry, officer. This is the first time I've brought it out.'

POLICEMAN: 'Thought so, sir. The caravan's supposed to be at the back.'

God said to Moses "Go forth",
But he came fifth and won a bag of peanuts.

Sorry!

Two blondes walk into a bar.
Boom! Boom!

Bit sexist, however.

Some great jokes here but I think my favourite is Rosina's pancake joke. I too would have laughed myself silly in the card shop (actually, I often do). Pity there are no 'like' buttons on Gransnet.

A woman of a certain age at the doctor.
Doctor: can you tell me your age please?
Woman patient: I am approaching 40.
Doctor: from which direction?

Paddy and Murphy were going fishing and Paddy's wife was preparing a flask of tea. Paddy said can you make that, one without sugar and one with two spoonfuls.

The only one I can ever remember goes:
Q: What did the male strawberry say to the female strawberry?
Ans: If we hadn't been in that bed together , we wouldn't be in this jam now!

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross buns.