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Dame Joan Bakewell - anyone agree?

(35 Posts)
KatyK Mon 26-May-14 10:50:59

Joan, speaking at the Hay Festival, said that old age is wonderful (she is 81). She said you lose friends, family, that she dreads opening newspapers for fear of seeing another obituary for some one she knows. She said memorial services are the new 'parties' because you are celebrating someone's life. She also mentions the fact that there is always the fear of death lurking. She also list the advantages of not having to worry about your weight or what people think etc. Anyone else agree? I personally can't see many advantages to getting old, apart from the fact that I am still here, not having to work and grandchildren being the only three I can come up with. The rest of it is not to be recommended in my view. I'm sure many of you will come up with lots of advantages. smile It is in the Daily Mail online - sorry can't do links.

FlicketyB Mon 26-May-14 11:29:27

I am fortunate to have my health and a good income - and those both make an enjoyable old age more achievable.

Having said that I am with Dame Joan, I am having a ball. My income is as safe as an income can be, I have children, grandchildren and friends and relations that I now have time to visit at my leisure. Yesterday we were with friends celebrating 40 years in the same house. we moved to the same village at the same time with children of matching age and gender, their photo of themselves and children the first summer they were there was a jolt, We have a similar picture of us at our house.

I now have time to do all those things I couldn't do when work ruled the day, cultivate my garden, grow vegetables, with my daughter's encouragement take up needlework and craft work again, I am volunteer with a heritage organisation and pursue my passion for archaeology.

Yes, a close friend died recently, but throughout my life I have experienced the death of friends and acquaintances at all ages, my sister died in her mid-40s, although I admit this recent death has shaken the tree.

But overall old age and retirement has been fantastic and long may it remain so.

POGS Mon 26-May-14 11:38:22

It does come down to health and having the ability to lead an independent life style, having a bob or two makes a big difference as well.

Joan Bakewell appears to be blessed with all 3 and she can only speak as she find.

I dare say there will be many OAP's who would have an opposite view of life, so she is right to count her blessings.

KatyK Mon 26-May-14 11:41:39

I think it depends what's going on in your life at the time you read something like this. Glad you are having fun Flick smile

Soutra Mon 26-May-14 11:58:45

I think she has made valid points but let:s not over-think things. Or else you might as well turn your face to the well. There may not be as much to look forward to (another year older and deeper in debt?) although a new DGC is always a happy prospect, so let's give up "looking forward" and enjoy the present. It is sad to lose dear friends and even more sobering when they were what my Dad always used to call "no age".
But life is a great gift- let's enjoy it while we can!!grin

KatyK Mon 26-May-14 12:00:42

You upbeat lot make me feel like a right misery! - just going through a bad patch. smile

FlicketyB Mon 26-May-14 12:02:18

Of course life has its ups and downs, and retirement is no different. In the first five years of retirement I seemed to go to a family funeral every other month as my parent's generation all decided that enough was enough and passed away. But most had lived into their late 80's and 90's in reasonable health and mental fitness, my daughter was seriously injured in a road accident three years ago and in the last two years both DDiL and DGS have developed medical problems that proving difficult to diagnose or treat.

I think a lot of it depends on your natural personality. I have always tended to be an irritatingly upbeat person - and while difficult events do cause pain and unhappiness, I can tie the pain and unhappiness to the event rather than let it suffuse every aspect of my life. My DD's accident was frightening, worrying, tiring, as we looked after her at home for several months and is still a niggling worry as she continues treatment and assesses its permanent affects on her, but I even when she was in hospital I could still sit down and enjoy the pleasure of a tomato picked fresh from the garden.

Soutra Mon 26-May-14 12:15:53

Way to go flicketyB smile

granjura Mon 26-May-14 12:44:21

Couldn't have said it better FlicketyB.

KatyK Mon 26-May-14 13:05:25

What a great attitude Flickety - I have never been like that. If I am going through bad stuff, I can only see the bad and suppose wallow in it. I think my dreadful upbringing and subsequent deaths of young family members has coloured my way of thinking. I was an anxious, frightened child who has become an anxious, frightened adult. I envy your way of thinking and must try harder. There are folks who go through many dreadful things and remain upbeat about life. As you say, it's down to your personality. My DD always says to me 'mom if life throws you lemons, make lemonade'.

annodomini Mon 26-May-14 13:11:22

Getting old is inevitable, so what's the point of looking on the downside? Mind you, I've been wondering where that extra chin came from.

FlicketyB Mon 26-May-14 15:28:26

not to mention the spare tyres and creaky hip!

Marmight Mon 26-May-14 16:02:42

81 is quite young these days! My aunt will be 99 in August. She is sound of mind but a bit doddery in body. She lives alone, has 2xdaily carers and good neighbours, but she just wants to go to bed and not wake up : she has no friends her age so nobody to talk of the old days. She still plays bridge, has a twinkle in her eye and is up for a joke. She went to a couple of birthday parties last month - an 80th and a 70th shock and felt like the skeleton in the corner....... I think she's made a good deal of lemonade in her time, but would like to stop.

annodomini Mon 26-May-14 16:15:35

Flickety, you have evidently been reading my other posts!

suebailey1 Mon 26-May-14 16:17:42

Don't like getting old (61) I'm so stiff and arthritic already, weight seems to go on however careful I am and however much exercise I do. Children have busy busy lives and find it difficult to fit you in, people in shops and restaurants hate you and cant be bothered with you, manners have all gone, TV is rubbish, now I am retired I have no professional status so no-one listens to a word I say, everything is expensive, husband going deaf other than that its fine.

Ariadne Mon 26-May-14 17:50:41

I think I agree with Flickety and I do know how fortunate I am, being financially secure, with a loving family, and DD nearby. I'm enjoying life, and looking forward to being mobile again (knee replacement 4 weeks on!) just the cataracts to deal with and I'll be off!

I am 68, have had breast cancer, chemo etc, and other problems, and am so grateful just to be here, be fairly fit (so they tell me) and to be part of my community.

(And no, I am not being smug, yes, I DO have down days, but I appreciate what I do have.)

FlicketyB Mon 26-May-14 17:51:08

I was referring to my spare tyres and creaky hip. I seem to still be OK on the chin front.

KatyK Mon 26-May-14 18:04:25

I like the quote on the thought for the day thread 'It's not my fault I have a double chin. When God was giving them out I thought he said gins and I said make mine a double' grin

DebnCreme Mon 26-May-14 18:25:27

I am more of a suebailey KatyK sort of person than a FlicketyB one. Not overly keen on this getting older malarcky. (apologies for spelling). Often feel I am invisible.

goldengirl Mon 26-May-14 20:49:57

It's the knees that let me down but apart from them it's all systems go! When I retired I started up a campaign to gain better access to welfare facilities for lorry drivers and have met so many interesting people along the way. I've palled up with a young woman who is teaching me about compiling a website. I attend meetings on all sorts of topics -lateral thinking helps - and enjoy giving presentations. It's keeping the brain cells going and so far no one seems bothered about my age (sixties). I did join a couple of clubs during the day but everyone seemed so much older and though very nice and welcoming I felt I really wanted to do my own thing - so that's what I've done!

I think some of it boils down to attitude. A friend of mine is of similar age but in a wheelchair and she's very much a go getter.

Ana Mon 26-May-14 21:03:45

Yes, I'm a SueBailey and KatyK type too - and not ashamed of it! grin

rosesarered Wed 28-May-14 13:30:43

grin It's being so cheerful keeps you going? As we used to say about any miserable old so-and so that crossed our path.

rosesarered Wed 28-May-14 13:34:00

Don't know about Joan Bakewell [as never really liked her, always seemed a tad smug.] However, old age has pros and cons.Possibly more cons, now that I think about it though.Since not much alternative, have to live with it don't we?Agree with Soutra about living for today though.

KatyK Wed 28-May-14 14:47:03

roses - my DH says that to me 'is it being so cheerful that keeps you going'. He also calls me MOT at times (Miserable Old Tart). grin

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 28-May-14 15:06:29

No one looks too shocked when the odd jolly woofter fart slips out in public.

But you do have to still watch your weight. Or getting much older could be rather impaired.