An alphabetical poem/story

Pyramid of Giza yes that would be his next adventure. 'Which Pyramid do you want?' Asked the elephant. 'The great pyramid of Giza of course'.

Quite oblivious of the fact that Elephants are vegetarian and do not eat meat, when Duffy offered them the Komodo Dragon curry, the Elephants were so offended they dropped Duffy off by the roadside. He had missed his flight to Giza.

Right on cue who should be galloping along the road but Sir. G and his faithful horse Xavier. Duffy thought any port in a storm and flagged Sir G down and suggested a detour to the Pyramid.

Sir G being a bit thick had not heard of the Great Pyramid of Giza (and thought it was part of a Theme Park) but was happy to give Duffy a lift. Sir G just hoped that Xavier had brought the sat nav with him.

Stopping only for a roadside picnic of curried Komodo, the intrepid trio soon saw a familiar landmark on the distant horizon.

Table Top Mountain they exclaimed, we came further than we thought.....

U turn everyone I am determined to get to the pyramid by nightfall.

Via Xanadu, if necessary!

"Wherever!" said Xavier grumpily, "it's not my fault. There are no Komodo Dragons here but there are dangerously aggressive Honey badgers, I saw a program about them on Television last night."

Sir G had installed a television in Xaviers stable so he could watch the racing.

Xavier settled down in his straw bed. He had a cough and didn't feel like watching tv. He was just a little hoarse.

"Yoghurt and honey will soon fix that", said Sir G, and ordered four litres from the Equine vet.

Zebras don't like this....but they don't get hoarse..........

"Zoots" exclaimed Xavier, this straw bed needs a bit of a shake.

"Actually" said Xavier feeling rather sorry for himself. "The quality of straw bedding in my own stable is far superior to this stuff."

"But...but...but...but...but" stammered Sir G

Challenged by Zavier, about the quality of the stable provision, Sir G had been reduced to a quivering wreck.

'Don't tell me you've changed the spelling of your name,' said Sir G. 'Make up your mind - is it Xavier or Zavier?' The horse looked very confused.

Even Sir G, as in awe as he was of his horse, knew that Xavier although clever enough was a tad dyslexic and when stressed tended to spell phonetically.

'Er, well no one could spell it, least of all me, so I changed it by Deed Poll a week last Wednesday...' he confessed.

F**** Nora exclaimed Duffy (who had been brought up in a rather rude household) when are we are off to the Great Pyramid ?

Good God! exclaimed Sir G (who had been brought up in a religious one). Hold your horses, or horse in this case, we haven't got a clue which signpost to follow!

Having been brought up in a religious household, Sir G knew that really he should not have taken the Lord's name in vain just then. As he felt guilty he wandered off to say a few Hail Mary's as a penance.

"I stand corrected!" he sobbed, having said his penance. But as he was in a stressful situation, he felt sure the Almighty would forgive him, just this once...

Jumping Jackdaws said Duffy, who had decided to clean up his language, I will have to lead this expedition myself. He sets the sat nav mounts the horse and tells Sir G to jump up behind him and hang on. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

Knowing that Sir G had truly repented the Great Jehovah will now guide this pilgrim (Sir G) through this barren land. He (Sir G) is weak and (Jehovah) is mighty and will guide (Sir G) with his powerful hand.

So that is all sorted for now.

Lovely, thought Sir G - no need for SatNat now I have the Hand to guide me. I'll just have a kip on Zavier's back until we reach our destination!