Whole limericks

I did n't write this one but it's too good to not put up:

There was a young student from Boston,
Who drove around in an Austen.
There was room for his ass
and a gallon of gas.
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.

That makes me think of my son and his little open-top two seater useless thingie (can't remember car names)

Oh dear! Thread' s gone quiet.

Sir Yoric is good Jingl

There once was a woman called Jings
Who wrote about hundreds of things.
She expressed an opinion
On almost a million
From teaching to flouncing to wings.

Elegran! Stop trying to visualise it!

Oh yes. I like that MiceElf.

We could dedicate the whole rest of the thread to limericks about me.

of satisfaction.

One day when things weren't going right
I chanced on this wonderful site
Where problems are shared
And worries are aired
And somehow the dark became light

Gransnet of course!

There was a young seagull called Rasta
Who chased kids to make them run fasta
So they threw him a chip
It got caught in his beak lip
And he now prefers haddock with pasta.

This was to cheer up my GD who was attacked by a seagull outside a fish and chip shop. Didn't work. She still hates them!

Seagulls I mean, not chips.

On gransnet there was a poster
Who one day sat on her toaster
She let out a howl
Said this is foul
And the stripes on my bum are disaster.

(I can't do last lines)

Hint - get your last line ready first and make the rest fit.

There is a poster on here now
Who would never dream of causing a row
Her name is like a little Elf
(Very pleased she is with herself)
She opens wide her little gob
And a sound comes out just like meeow.

That didn't work and it will probably get me banned.

And it's all your fault Elegran!

Just being helpful, jings ! I am sure you can rise above all the help.

I don't have time to put that in verse, I am googling pink ivory. It might stop poachers, but equally it might be so pretty it would encourage them.

MiceElf is woman of wisdom
Well learned in euhemerism
When bothered by gnats
They are fed to the rats
Together with daft criticism.

Wisdom comes in many guises
Self satisfaction too.
Those who think they're bloody clever
Just turn out to be full of poo.

There once was a granny from Surrey
Lived mainly on rhubarb and curry
At the end of each day
In a purposeful way
She would dash to the loo in a hurry

Sorry to lower the tone and not sure it scans properly, but first attempt and will try to do better next time....

You're not lowering the tone Joyblogs.

That's a good one.

Thank you jingl, but I'm still worried it doesn't scan!

It's only that third line - trying to think of an alternative...

It does.

Although the fourth line has six syllables as well, so what I said doesn't make sense!

There was a farm in Huddersfield
That had a cow that wouldn't yield.
The reason why she wouldn't yield,
She didn't like her udders feeled.

Oh heck, it's not a limerick is it?
Anyone know what the missing line is??
Duh, I'm not fit to be a gransnetter...... Boo hoo

There once was a cow in a field
That try as she might couldn't yield
A grasp of her udder
Would just make her shudder
And normal in cold Huddersfield.