Whole limericks

If you want to look sexy on skis
Remember you must bend ze knees
Coz the first thing you learn
Is that if you can't turn
You'll be arse over tit in the trees!

There was an old lady from berks
Who said nothing of me now works
Must go on a diet
Really must try it
So she sat down and had a nice milky coffee and two slices of toast and marmalade.

There was an old woman who lived in a house
She wished it could always be quiet as a mouse
As she lay there all day snivelling in bed
Along came a grandson whose name was Fred
He said "get up gran and give it a go
You'll soon need the lav and I'll not fetch the po".

(po is what a chamber pot was shortened to)

I know that's not a limerick!

If someone else put one on I would stop.

A 'netter called Jinglebellsfrocks
Expecting to get some hard knocks
Wrote an unscanning limerick
With rhythms most seasick
And wondered why poets threw rocks.

There was a wee lass in Kintyre
Who had what you call a spare tyre
So she sat on her bike
And pedalled all night
La lah la la lah
la la lah
Daft as a brush...that's me

He he he!!! I can duck!

Now she's as thin as a wire?

That's a good one soop. we're better than the rest of 'em

Better at what Jings ?

Writing pomes

Pomes yes, limericks no.

I know! Only joking missis.

An elderly lady got caught in the rain
Causing her arthur-ritis to be quite a pain
She received some new joints
Could then stand on her points
And her walking stick was used not again.

Well, I can dream can't I?

But can you write a real limerick, or is it only cod ones?

Not you, DebnCreme ! ^You* clearly can. I was wondering about jings

There was a young feller from Warwick
Who went by the name of Sir Yoric
He had a degree
Was clever you see
And now he's directing the traffic.

Yeah alright! I know the last bit doesn't rhyme! (Quite good apart from that)

And that's twenty minutes of my life I won't get back!

So you can do a limeric, just with the end a bit dodgy(no k - end dodgy - oh forget it)

Very commendable. jings...

There is a Gransnetter who sings
Who denies having huge bingo wings
When she takes a deep breath
People wish they were deaf
Her flapping brings down most ceilings!