A bit of a laugh

Merlot that is one my DS brought up just recently!

I probably got it from my DS as well, Movedalot

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

see you all tomorrow my battery is going flat

I don't think we get smarter as we get older, we just run out of stupid things to do.

C'mon, let's keep this going.

It's not technically gossip if you start your sentence with "I'm really concerned about ..........." (fill in the name of the person you're gossiping about).

Good one Ana I know people just like that! Can also be used to show you are superior to others!

I've lost my mind and am pretty sure the kids took it.

I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

It's reported that those who ate horseburgers are in a stable condition.

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.

I haven't been able to get my kids to pay attention to anything I've said all day. I'm going to sit here and pretend I'm on the phone, that should do it.

(going to have a bath works, as well! )

Love 'em all

tesco are now selling uniquorn burgers for vegetarians

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm still tired today

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And a topical one:

I was in the cafe at Tescos having a bite to eat when the waitress asked if I wanted anything on my burger. I said yes, a fiver each way.



Tesco ad on telly says to get down there quick as the burgers will not be on offer furlong.



I've just check the Tesco burgers in my fridge ........ And they're off !



Tesco have take their burgers of the shelves because they've been found to be full of fat, salt and Shergar.

I don't exercise...it makes me spill my wine G&T coffee

If God had intended me to touch my toes he would have put diamonds on the floor.

The police are doing door to door enquiries about the horse meat in Burgers, soon they will have covered the whole Neigh- bourhood.

Oh for a like button!