A bit of a laugh

I switched to H***al Essence shampoo and sadly discovered I don't have a G-spot on top of my head like the women in the commercials

So is Mr K bless him

Ah, as Mr P says "That'll be it then" !

Quiet, sort of stoic chap, is Mr P.

I'm that and more phoenix
Kali

She'd be fierce, then...

anno I thought that Kali was the godess of destruction? (poss. Hindu, but could be wrong, often am)

ho ho

Take yourself to Pedants' Corner! Let us try shamburgers then

Not quite, Kali, you need to lose an S

Is it a coincidence that 'hamburgers' is an anagram of Shergars Bum?

Anno
when wonderful, wish I could see that

Can hardly type for laughing....I've just watched two squirrels sliding down the slates on my outhouse, frantically trying to get some purchase on the snowy roof. They looked like they were playing 'slides' at first, till they started scrambling back up. Hlarious!

Kali

PS in Swahili, kali means fierce.

But I hear sales of horseradish sauce are up.

I bet the public relations department at Tesco are having a mare!

Forget the Horse burgers from Tesco - I prefer my Lidl Pony.

Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an ass

Oh for a like button!

The police are doing door to door enquiries about the horse meat in Burgers, soon they will have covered the whole Neigh- bourhood.

If God had intended me to touch my toes he would have put diamonds on the floor.

I don't exercise...it makes me spill my wine G&T coffee

And a topical one:

I was in the cafe at Tescos having a bite to eat when the waitress asked if I wanted anything on my burger. I said yes, a fiver each way.



Tesco ad on telly says to get down there quick as the burgers will not be on offer furlong.



I've just check the Tesco burgers in my fridge ........ And they're off !



Tesco have take their burgers of the shelves because they've been found to be full of fat, salt and Shergar.

A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm still tired today