The great dog/cat controversy

Unless the police have.

...er Anagram....wasn't it you who implied whitewave dunnit herself just a moment ago?

Who actually SAW this?

Since when did that ever get in the way of a fixed convenient verdict?

.....the sound of footsteps retreating rapidly. No-one knows nuthin'

Oho. Who got bribed?

when, you're just trying to deflect attention from your blowtorch!

...mmm these chocs are fabulous. Oooh - chilli chocolate - not tried that one before.......

Where's Faye? She was apparently hovering above the proceedings dressed as a fairy - she'll have see it all! (Hope she hasn't been nobbled...)

Hi Faye fancy a chocolate? Here, have two.....

Larry is looking very guilty..he isnt wooden he is scared stiff..that he will be found out his alibi is a trifle woolly...nellie hasnt got the blowtorch nellie wasnt there ......so whenim you arent denying that the offensive weapon was yours....with your fingerprints....in your possesion for most of the time,,hmmm [am stroking chin] very suspicious [am twiddling moustaches]

I don't deny the blowtorch is mine, but if you check my record you will see that I have a history of mislaying my belongings at parties. I STILL don't have my handcuffs back and now my blowtorch has gone AWOL. Find my stuff and you will find the culprit. [well, I do feel smug now emoticon]

nellie! You can get laser treatment for that now - no need to twiddle in silence!

Ha! That chilli chocolate contained a Truth Drug, when! You'll soon be singing like a canary! (Thanks, Faye for the imported truth serum....)

I submit that we have insufficient evidence to prosecute.

just going for a wee - my eyes are leaking, too! Ha Ha!!

You can't proceed just on a confession!

Even if she does.

Is she coming back?

Oh dear, I crying with laughter, I haven't done that for years!

Shaking with laughter and I've only got to 1854 will have to go back and read the rest when the tears have got out of the way. by the way we had venomous no no! denim no no! venison, that's it venison steaks tonight and re-fried carrot, well they weren't re-fried because they were boiled before but you know what I mean, and refried (but not really again broccoli and onions of course because they go with everything.

RIGHT! Back to the thread where I lef toff....

Alright jeni there's no need to manhandle me! I was just on my way back - no I wasn't going over the wall, I was just checking that...er...my car was still there. Some people!

Anagram dont really have moustaches am getting into character....
whenim I am laughing so much tears are rolling down my legs....but enough whenim needs to be accompanied to make sure she isnt offloading the aforementioned blow torch to her accomplice Larry the Lamb,may need fornsics to examine rovers bum to see if any evidence remains.....by the way an interesting piece of evidence has come my way who turned the lamb into a red hot vindaloo and fed it to rover the blow torch may have a been a red herring

OK I want to make a statement. I have my lawyer here - Mr Scam from Leggit and Run solicitors.

Have you got the tape ready?