I want to help.

Totally agree don't give money, or even groceries of that value. I like the idea of paying for something anonymously, but DO ensure its anonymous. She may be a lovely person, but her family may be violent, abusive, controlling (I've met all that in the charity I work with). Even knowing you have a source who can give money may leave you open to demands.

This could contravene your volunteer work agreement and you might find that they ask you to leave should you do this.

You sound like a very compassionate person Dawn, but don't give her money. As gillybob suggests can you help her in another practical way. I am assuming you mean for the food bank that the vouchers are given. Could this lady's needs be reassessed to see if she can get any extra help. CAB could give her some practical advice and go through her situation with her and make a decision, I was under the impression that you are given 3 vouchers if you qualify which have to be spread out over a period of time. Does the town you live in have any of the cafes that are springing up all over the place now to help disadvantaged people, were they cook meals from foods that have been donated from local shops. You can pay what you can afford or nothing if you have no money at all. The one in our town is connected to one of the churches and also has one of the foodbanks. If you give her money outright, then she may expect to get some more when this is spent.

I am with sazz1 and grannyactivist. Dawn22 you are obviously a caring and compassionate person and I disagree with a complete ban on helping people personally, as so many have suggested. Certainly there are many situations where people do take advantage, but it sounds like you have known this woman for some time and are able to make an informed decision. Perhaps anonymously is the best way. And I certainly agree with send her to CAB and other agencies. And if you get dismissed from the charity for your involvement, I don't see it as a great loss. Can you find another organisation with a kinder heart?

I'm pretty surprised at the tone of these responses to be honest. In the four years I've been working with homeless and vulnerably housed people I would say that the vast majority are inspirational people trying to make the best of a life that has kicked them in the teeth. Some of my clients are working, some are mentally/physically disabled or too ill to work and a very few are dealing with the consequences of being raised in dysfunctional households or drug/alcohol abuse - the thing that they mostly have in common is that they are poor and have very little family support.

My volunteers, caseworkers and members of the local community have occasionally given anonymous gifts to clients in exactly the way I described up-thread. So far all of the outcomes have been positive. Have we been extraordinarily fortunate?

Hi Dawn
Please reconsider this , my sister did something similar for a charity she volunteers for and it caused her more mental stress that she has actually given up Her charity work .
She had a young lady with a little 2 year old , she was given food every week for quite awhile but then started to say her food wasn’t lasting the week.
The charity found out her partner was selling the food to buy drink, although this was in no way her fault they stopped her from using the food bank.
My sister felt sorry for her and gave her £50.00 to buy groceries. Unfortunately her partner followed my sister home one day and started pestering her for money , it got so bad that the police were involved.
So please reconsider although a lovely thought it could have repercussions.

I’m a charity volunteer in a similar environment. Volunteers have to abide by the same Code of Conduct as the employees and trustees. You would be violating ours by giving a client money and would be banned from volunteering. We hand out food bank vouchers. Could you not arrange for her to access these? You must do as advised by the posters on here. I know you sympathise with this lady, but you must got get personally involved.

I’m really concerned that there are a few posters advocating the giving of money personally with no regard to the possible consequences for the OP. Just because some people have done this themselves and got away with no bad consequences doesn’t mean the OP will be in the clear.
There are many many better suggestions on here.
There has to be a reason why the person has got into difficulties, can’t seem to get out of them, and is not “qualifying” for more help through this particular avenue of support. Throwing a large lump sum of money at the problem may not necessarily solve anything longer term, may open the way, unwittingly, to more problems and cause the OP to lose her job and reputation. If the person is on benefits they would be expected to declare the gift? As to giving anonymously, this could be extremely difficult to do. A compassionate person should seek to guide the person to organisations who can legitimately help. Offering time and support to help do this would be far more useful as well as being safer. A poster previously mentioned CAP. The person does not have to be a Christian to use their services. They help, support and guide any person in financial distress.

It's a hard world out there but UK is supposed to be a civilized place where people are provided for. But it does not seem to be happening - judging by statistics of millions of children living poverty. All the time charities appeal for funds on TV - where does all that money go? Why is your charity not supporting this woman? If you decide to give her extra help - do so anonymously.

Your first step should be to arrange a formal meeting with the head honcho of the charity - not just an informal discussion when you have "batted for her." You can then ask them about their policies and protocols, and then you can think through how this relates to the person about whom you are concerned. There may be sound reasons for their stance on this, and, if there are, you need to know what these are in order to make a proper judgement about whether their decision is "unfair." Unfortunately charities are forced to make some very difficult decisions at times.

I was a SW and there were times when I just wanted to scoop some poor soul up and do everything for them. But there were rules and a professional distance had to be maintained. So I do sympathise with what your heart is telling you, but would advise going with your head and working through the proper channels.

It is a sad truth - and it pains me to say this - that some people who have had dysfunctional upbringings can simply suck you dry - I have been there - and you do not want to get yourself into this situation.

I would suggest that, if all else fails, you research other sources of support for this woman and provide her with this information.

But at this stage I do not think giving her direct help off your own bat is the right route to go.

I agree with most of the posts here. Don't get too involved with this lady and don't take her out for a meal, as one Gran has suggested. Have another chat with your charity and suggest that you maybe can find a way to help her out. Tell them you are worrying about her and you wonder if the charity can be persuaded to help a bit more. Perhaps they know something about her that maybe they should tell you, such as she is a drug addict and that is what she will spend money on. Her bad health could be related to that.

Dawn22, your intentions are good but this is not a good idea and may have long-lasting consequences. Also, if the organisation you volunteer for gets to hear of you working outside the rules or getting personally involved in any way with their clients then you will probably be asked to leave, which would be a shame as it sounds like you have a lot of compassion for the clients. It is hard when you work with people that need help but there may be circumstances you are currently unaware of or good reasons why the organisation is not helping more at this stage. Please just offer support or point this woman to other agencies that may be able to help, but do not give cash or anything else.

I think you need to talk some more with someone at the top of the charity. Find out their reasons why they won't help her anymore. As a volunteer you are entitled to be listened to. Charities rely heavily on their volunteers.

Don't give up yet, but wait until you know a lot more about the whys and wherefore. You could even ask the charity how they would feel about you giving personally to her. It would, at the very least, show them how strongly you feel about this.

No,no and again no. It could lose you your job with the charity that you have at the moment and open up a great cupboard of demands on you for money, help, dispute resolution and other troubles that cannot be forseen.

I worked for Age Concern (as was) for many years as a volunteer Home Visitor and we constantly had it ground into us that we should not get over involved with our client's lives. On several occasions, I had to walk away, having done all I could, knowing that having done everything I could and passed it on to another body who should take responsibilty but wouldn't. That must be the end of the case for me.

The fact that you have posted about this in GN shows that you too are not sure whether you should do any thing.

Whatever you decide to do. never,never, never, give money, give in kind and small quantities, so that it cannot be sold on.

Dawn22
I would give her the money. You say you are a good judge of character, go with your gut.
Over the years I've given/ lent a lot of money to people in trouble. I've only ever been let down once.

I think you have to be very careful so what about giving her a smaller amount say £50 and then see how you feel but be wary. Some people just can't manage money well.

I suggest you go to your charitable organisation that is slow or not willing to help this lady and ask them why. There may be a very good reason why they don't with something in the background that you don't know about.

I wouldn't. I've found that people who you try to help sometimes use and abuse you. My mother gave money to people and found they came back for more.

I think that there are other issues here, too, and data protection would be one of them. You are not supposed to search the records for peoples='s addresses so if you were found to have accessed her address without a reason to do so it could come down both on you and on the charity. If you knew where she lived by other means if you really felt it was the right thing you could send a supermarket gift token, I have personally helped someone whose benefits were not being paid and she genuinely was in a dreadful situation
The other thing is to do with data protection, there may be something which others in the charity know but they cannot tell you as it is confidential so they couldn't tell you.

oh no sorry, do not go down the road of handing out your own money

I would definitely not give her any of your money but help her navigate through the benefits system, perhaps using CAB and get her help this way. Then you have a clear conscience but acknowledge that she is an adult and has the ability to find help for herself that she is legitimately entitled to.

Many posters seem to think that not giving money, groceries etc is unkind.
I think you need to take a step back and think carefully.
A charity relies on volunteers and donations, it will operate in a fair and honest way, if a volunteer is giving special attention to one particular client that is wrong. If a volunteer starts to hand out money to clients
imagine trouble it could cause.
It is very probable the charity has information that the volunteers are not part to.
Going off piste and doing your own thing could cause huge problems that long term could damage the charities reputation and this could lead to a downturn in donations and volunteers.
I have personal experience of voluntary work, I did however have weeks of training and good support.
It seems to me the OP has perhaps not had such a good induction.

Good post Missfoodlove please please Dawn listen to people who really are giving you good advice, it has nothing to do with unkindness I m almost certain your charity has very good reasons why they are not continuing to help this lady Charities are not set up to be cruel or uncaring to one particular person in need but rules are there for a reason Support her, be kind and caring towards her but don’t be an enabler to her or her dysfunctional family
You must have had your own doubts or you would not have asked on here

Definitely a bad idea.
And probably would mean you would no longer be able to volunteer with the organisation.

You seem to be a compassionate woman, which does not mean naive. You believe her plight to be genuine but I would tread carefully as other Gransnetters suggest. If it is possible to pay some outstanding bills anonymously or have groceries delivered to her home, again anonymously, then that appears to be best all round. She may have unscrupulous family members who could then see you as a soft touch when all you are is a person trying to do the right thing and help someone on their knees. I salute you..