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Bereavement

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Getting through the christmas period

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craftyone Thu 19-Dec-19 15:40:01

I am trying to be detached. My husband of 45 years died early 2019 and I am grateful to have had that time with him. I am busy, always busy, it stops me thinking. I set myself unconscious targets and live in the moment. A cycle ride, making buns, doing the washing, all are targets

Everything stops for the holiday, I have a small amount of time with family but mostly on my own. I am ok being on my own because of targets, things to do. I need to face christmas, the emotional side. Am thinking of doing that tonight when the salvation army is playing in my small town. I am fearful. I know it will be hard to keep the tears in check and will be grateful it will be dark. I want to give the army a donation to help them in their good work, so I have to go and I need to face the emotion

That is the hard bit. I have treats for most days, good chocolates, nice food, dvds, reading, knitting. The holiday will pass and all I need to do is to think of the frazzled, those who would have liked two of my quiet days

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craftyone Fri 20-Dec-19 20:59:02

I need to say that I am so sorry for anyone here who is also grieving. It does not get better but you learn to cope with it.

That is one of the first questions I asked about 3 weeks after my husband died. Two elderly widows sitting in front of me on a bus, I had to know if the pain got less and that is what they told me. It was a comfort

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Shropshirelass Mon 23-Dec-19 08:29:59

We lost Dad earlier this year so a difficult Christmas too. A friend of mine goes to help a restaurant in a nearby town who always cooks meals for the homeless in Christmas Day, she finds it very rewarding.

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inkcog Mon 23-Dec-19 08:33:20

Sometimes " getting through" is good enough.

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Daddima Mon 23-Dec-19 21:50:58

The Bodach has had to be admitted to hospital, as he is very low indeed. They are trying to rehydrate him, and giving antibiotics for a probable UTI, but he was totally unresponsive all the time we were there today. As I said before, Christmas is always a bad time for me, so we were always glad of the Canarian sunshine. ‘ Getting through’ is the best I can hope for.

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MissAdventure Mon 23-Dec-19 22:17:21

I'm so sorry to hear that; these things always seem worse at this time of year.

Hoping for some good news for you.

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Hetty58 Tue 24-Dec-19 11:34:46

We all manage to muddle through somehow and that's quite good enough. I really do feel relieved when it's all over with and were back to 'ordinary' days. I have a new found appreciation of the normal days now - so that's some compensation. Best wishes to you all.

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Hetty58 Tue 24-Dec-19 11:35:16

(we're)

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