Photographer at a funeral?

When my BIL was buried in the Philippines in 2000, a video was taken of the ceremony. It was apparently quite normal there. I think my MIL rather appreciated it as she'd been too frail to travel to Manila.

Must be a clause in the will that you only get the goods if you attend the funeral.

My mother came from a large family (11 children) and when my grandfather died in 1953 one of my uncles took a photo of all of them with my grandmother on a camera with a timer as they were rarely altogether and everyone had a copy. Nice to look back on now. After all, weddings and funerals are the only times everyone in the family comes together, and the wake, like the wedding reception, is where everyone catches up sometimes after years apart.

Do you think people should still wear black to funerals? I don't wear black. I wear something that says, "the memorientation I have of you are colourful and happy ones" as that was should be celebrated, not the death but the life shared with that person ? As for the photographer, probably for someone who couldn't attend.

*memory

My uncle died in 1966 when I was just a wee girl and my granny always took great comfort in the photos someone took of all the flowers on the grave in the evening after the service. My auntie died just over a year ago. My gran had 23 grandchildren and I think about 20 of us were at the funeral. I know my auntie and my gran would have been really chuffed, but when one cousin suggested we have a big family "portrait" taken, my female cousin - whose mum had just died - fled to the loos. She thought it was incredibly insensitive to pose at a funeral, so we didn't!

We did have photos & a video of my Dads funeral as there were members of the British Legion & the Vincent Owners club both of which he belonged to upto his dying at 93. It was just something that we wanted to remember, all the people that loved him turning up to say goodbye.

Not a fan of this but can see it coming with Facebook social media etc this is a private day keep it that way memories should be of them alive not at this sad time x

My husband had a full military funeral and I often say I wish we had a recording of it.

Not something I've experienced myself but I did see a programme about this on tv a few years ago. It was done very sensitively and didn't seem intrusive at all, I thought at the time it was an interesting idea. Most of us can't really remember who was there or what was actually said at the service so having a pictorial and verbal record to look back on could be very comforting. After all it's the last thing we do for someone we love. We record other rites of passage in someone's life so why not this final one? Like everything else some will chose to spend ridiculous amounts of money but no doubt like weddings it can be done just as well on a budget. It's all a matter of personal choice.

Our family is spread around the globe. When arranging mom's funeral I was delighted to find a funeral director who had a lovely chapel and a room upstairs for the wake. The chapel was fitted out with webcams and so I was able to give family around the world a password, which enabled them to join us online for the funeral service. This was appreciated by so many people. Maybe one day it will become the norm. When we moved upstairs for refreshments, sure people took photos as there were family there we hadn't seen for years. Mom's funeral was homegrown and very informal, but don't think I'd have liked people taking photos during the service.

I suppose it would depend on whether it was something the family wanted or something a guest decided to do. If the family want photographs then I don't see it is anyone else's business really. As others have said, photographs of the dead used to be very popular in Victorian times, even to the extent of including a recently deceased person/child in a family photograph taken just after their death. If it comforts someone then what is the issue?

It is not common but it is requested at some funerals for various reasons.

Daddima
I too would be horrified. After all it is a final goodbye to a loved one,dear friend/colleague and people to be photographed in their grief is, for me, just not on and invasive.

I was very unsure about this when I first read about it. The more I read the more I think a record of the funeral could be useful. As others have said the immediate family are probably too upset to take things in at the time and would like to see a recording later.Also for family members who could not be there for whatever reason.
My son in law had a full military funeral with fly past, his children were very young at the time. It would be good if they could see it now they are older.

A close friend lost her mother just before my father died, and she suggested to me that I might like photos of the flowers; someone had discreetly done this for her and she had found it comforting to look at the 'floral tributes'. I thought it a nice thing to do, so she took three or four photos of just the flowers lying in the sunshine after the service, and when I see those photos it is a reminder of Dad and a day when many came to pay respects to a lovely man.

I recently went to a funeral which was being video'd with a 'proper' camera -like the ones for newsreels - and with another photographer in attendance. I was shocked at first, but then realised that the lady in question had been something of a heroine in the fifties, so that would explain it!

I can see why people would want photographs taken, although it's not something I would ever consider.
However, at my Uncle J's funeral (a cremation) his son posed his children, then aged 4 & 7 in front of the coffin and told them to smile!
I thought it was a bit weird!
He also asked the Crematorium staff if he and the children could go with them to actually see the coffin 'burned'. Thank goodness they said "no", as that was a seriously warped idea!
He's always been a bit 'odd' though, in fact we don't speak anymore, due to his strange behaviour and comments when my DM died.

My first reaction was no way, how tasteless but having read through everyone's thoughts I've completely changed my mind. Thank you all for helping me to see things in a different way.

Sadly funerals are often the only times that families get together. Fewer weddings and christenings, so it's nice to have a group photo, and it's a nice way to remember the deceased

There was some fantastic musical my niece's funeral a few years ago, a brass band and a big choir. The church made a audio recording of it, which I know her mum likes to listen to and was sent to some family who couldn't attend. We also took a picture of the flowers as they were so lovely, I don't like to look at them now or listen to the music as it brings back sad memories, but I can understand why others might like it.

Daddima Condolences to you on the loss of your brother

My brother died suddenly last year after surgery in Florida. Our dad died in 2006 and was buried with full military honours as he was a career officer in the USAF. I did take some photos at the graveside myself. I am so happy to have this particular one because it shows my brother receiving the flag from dad's coffin. It was a beautiful event. My photos were of the people, not the casket.

There is also Skype live done at funerals now! I have been at 2 funerals recently where this was done for those who couldnt be there in person for different reasons. There is a prewarning notice put up outside as you go in.

Family flowers: I have seen pictures being taken of with ease with mobile phone camera's and photos taken of the area of where of where the ashes were scattered which I recently did to send to a relative who couldn't be there

Discretion I think is the order. Life is changing. I read an article on the BBC the other week about a photographer taking photo's with the deceased. Also each year the families would go back to the coffin remove the body and have new family photo's taken with it. It sounds gross and disrespectful to us. To them it was natural. They didn't see the persons has dead, just no longer breathing in this world. Bizzaire and ghoulish to us. Normal to them

At my dad's funeral, I was so upset that I didn't remember much of it. Thankfully, there were photographs for me to look at after the event and now, 20 years later, I still treasure them. From the photos I can recall the huge attendance, the cortege, the graveside and the wake. I'm very grateful for those memories.

My great-grandmother died in 1934 and the mourners posed for a formal group photo. I think it is a great idea. I have that photo now and it has helped me with my family history research.