Should we give our neighbour a present?

Why have they started - because of the difficult times we've had. Why don't you reciprocate and add a little note saying 'what a lovely idea to cheer everyone on their way' thank you for starting it. And definitely include a present here.

How kind of your neighbours. I imagine they feel they've come to know you a little better this past year and simply want to show their appreciation of your neighbourliness. I doubt that they expect anything in return and may feel a bit awkward if you give them something. Just accept their gift gracefully with a very warm Thank You and saying what a lovely surprise it was.

But if you really feel you should reciprocate then keep it simple and inexpensive, a flowering plant or pot of bulbs; some homemade shortbread (you could always say you made too much and thought they might like some); or a nice bottle of wine. Remember it could become an annual thing, would you be happy with that?

At our last address we always exchanged gifts with a few of our neighbours. We considered them friends as well as neighbours and they had always given to our children when they were small, and later our GC. But when we moved here we found our neighbours were surprised to even get cards from us let alone gifts, it was obviously not the custom here! After 9 years here we do now exchange cards but not gifts. They are friendly and we get on well enough but gifts are not the 'done' thing. So be it.

As a reverse problem, how do you stop giving a present when it has just become a habit, and you both know you want to stop but no one is brave enough to say so or do it first?

Kryptonite

As a reverse problem, how do you stop giving a present when it has just become a habit, and you both know you want to stop but no one is brave enough to say so or do it first?

One of you has to pluck up courage and say, “We’ve decided to cut down on the giving and receiving of presents, except for close family. Hope that’s ok with you.”

Maybe write it in an early Christmas card, and give them plenty ofnotice.

We seem to send cards to neighbours who send cards to us and not to the ones who don't. Some years I forget and don't bother but I too would not like neighbours to feel obliged which is why if I don't a card I don't send one back - no slight intended.

You could always take a homemade cakes round at new year as an alternative?

Good to see the Christmas spirit is alive and well. Does a small kind gesture require so much thought

Message withdrawn at poster's request.