Son moving on

DD used to go over to Germany almost every month to see her partner with Easy jet or Monarch. She never paid more than £100 return.

Thank you all so much for the kind and helpful messages.
She will be the wind beneath his wings and it will be a permanent move as it’s her home.
Sadly for me my location doesn’t enable me to take advantage of weekends away there not that accessible from here! I can’t wait to go though and will.
But the good thing is her family aren’t Christian so I’ve been promised Christmas visits , each year.
I am much more labile than I expected it’s not usually the way I am....

You will have lots of lovely visits to Germany.

My dc left 15 years ago and is a flight of 12 hours distant/ 17 hours total with a connection. Almost too much for me now.

I'm so grateful and lucky that my 3 girls and grandkids live within an easy drive from me! I hope you adjust in time and visit as often as you can. As for a gift - how about a photo album?! Include childhood (and adult) snaps, his schools and other growing up places, your home and community, family get-togethers, pets, and don't forget yourself! Be inventive, amusing even! First photo could be you with a big smile holding a sign (you can think of a caption - maybe 'Welcome to Memory Lane' or similar). In the process, you might be sentimental but you’ll have fun too. Take your time making it – it will be a nice surprise whenever it arrives. In this digital world, it would be nice for him to have a ‘real’ coffee table album and could be a talking point when friends visit. (Oh…..and get Skype!)

Germany isn't far at all from the UK I honestly see my faraway DS almost as often as I see the so called local ones.
We talk on WhatsApp. He's on a visit now so we are happily enjoying seeing his lovely family
Be proud that you set him up to be an independent adult.
Of course you'll miss him but there are many ways to keep in touch.

humptydumpty. I often get asked if I would like to live over there. There are several reasons why I won't consider it. 1) I have two more children, and two grandchildren, who live here in the UK. 2) The days of easy immigration to Australia for parents are no longer with us. You need a LOT of capital. Housing, and the cost of living, are both high, and if your medical costs go over a certain limit they could send you back to the UK. 3) I struggle to cope with the heat over there.

I have been able to visit them three times in the last two years, since my husband died. He was unable to travel for some years, due to poor health. The journey is very tiring, though, and getting insurance for a three-month stay is almost impossible, and very expensive. I will be 80 next year, and am hoping that they will all be able to come and visit me.
Luckily they are all very good at keeping in touch, and I enjoy many chats - usually after midnight because of the time difference! I miss my little granddaughter's cuddles, though!

How lovely I wish him good luck for the future.

humptydumpty, I say ditto to your first post. There was I sitting on the train full of excitement heading towards a new life adventure and - happily unbeknown to me at the time - my Mother had to be pretty much dragged from the station in huge anguish. With wonderful insight, my slightly maturer friends had envisaged this possibility and kept a safe but discreet distance from us on the platform. I'm so glad I had no idea. I've had payback time twice and it sure is a joyful/painful experience. Hey-ho.

I think that OldMeg's idea is good - some cash for a drink, or meal out, or whatever. In time you'll discover what they may want/need and you can perhaps help then? Our DS (only child) has been away for 22 years - he & family are now a US citizens. I'm typing this from their home as we're here for six weeks. We've become used to this and we come every year. (Spending their inheritance!) It was hard, but I remind myself that loving your children (& DGC) means letting them go. Visits to Germany shouldn't be too difficult?

First, well done on raising a child whose level of confidence allows him/her to take on the world.

A gift - always be there for him. Help whenever possible. These things are true gifts.

My youngest son lives in the southern part and I loive in the north-west. That's thirteen hours by car and I could get to him faster by plane, if I was living in England. It's difficult not to be able to pop round at the weekend but simply 'be there'. It's priceless.

I don’t know where you live but honestly Germany is really near and easy to get to. You don’t say which part of Germany they have moved to but there are many beautiful towns with lovely castles, rivers and other places to visit.
I love Germany and the Germans are a lovely people. You will have some fantastic holidays there.?

I think the biggest gift is to be there for them and for them to know that you are happy for them to be doing what they are doing, that way they will love you coming to visit and vice versa. It has worked for me with my daughter. It’s very hard but that’s how I’ve been with her, the opposite to my parents. As Mams we only want them to be happy.