Really upset about this

I agree with paddyann
Sometimes people in stressful jobs use black humour as a way to keep themselves sane, quite honestly. It is very unfortunate that they did this in your hearing, that was wrong.

I hope no-one ever eavesdrops in an operating theatre.

I do hope someone dealt with the boil and I am sure they would have done so in a professional manner.

Disgraceful behaviour by "professionals" who should know better. I had to complain when my DH had a hip replacement, they staff were bone idle and spent their time in the ward dispensary gossiping through the night and ignoring buzzers. My DH had to get out of bed hours after is op to find a nurse to help a very elderly gentleman who had collapsed during the night and was lying on the floor vomiting, the buzzer had been ignored and the shouts of the other patients in the room, even then they took time to get off their backsides. Lookingg at photos and discussing their social lives seems to have been top priority. After i complained the Matron was fantastic and for the next few days i never saw a single member of the ward staff on their phones and the buzzers were answered straight away.
Serkeen dont let it go

That is different though grannypiper and, sadly, many of us have stories like this which are upsetting and should be reported immediately.

However, this was not a case of disgraceful neglect, more a case of humour which should not have been used within earshot of a patient or patient's relative. Wrong time, wrong place near a distressed relative.

I do hope your husband is well looked after and recovers well, Serkeen, that is what matters.

You are right Jalima, and i do understand the need for humour in such a job but in the right place. Most hospital staff i have come across tend to forget where they are and that a patient has a right to confidentiality, i dont for a minute think it is done out of spite they just forget their surroundings.

Well I don't blame her Jane10 there is a lot of that going on.

I guess they try their best, for some reason I have to say I expected better more professional sensible people to be handling stuff.

serkeen I haven't read all this thread, but I feel the most important thing to do is ask to talk to the consultant overseeing his treatment. On a day-to-day basis the medical staff will be changing (shift patterns etc.) but the consultant will have an overview plus access to all his notes.

I say this because this is what happened when my mother was admitted to hospital after a hip fracture, the consultant had everything relating to her health. Don't be fobbed off - this is your right - and make an appointment rather than a 30-second chat during weard rounds.

Yes that makes sense devongirl because you are so right the ward rounds are a 30 second rush job.

I need your help again

I spoke with the doctor today, my husband was out of ear shot and the doctor told me that my husband was taking far too much fluids(the doctors are giving medication to reduce fluids in his body side effect of heart operation) nearly double the amount that he should be drinking and what he has been asked to drink and there is only so much that medicine can do.

You might imagine that this information given to me by his Doctor, made me quite upset at my husband, feeling that he should at least stick to the doctors guidelines so that progress can be made because after nearly 10 weeks in hospital we all really want it to be over.

I felt quite upset that my husband was being so irresponsible and I did get a bit upset with my him and admit I said a couple of things out of frustration.

He then asked me to go home and to go back at the end of the week (I usually visit him everyday)

Now I'm not sure whether to apologise or give him space and am confused as to whether I was right or wrong to get upset/loose my temper somewhat

The amount a patient drinks is under the control of the nursing staff, surely. If they only bring him for instance, 2 jugs of water per day that is all he can have . That is between the doctors and the ward staff. I am puzzled as to why your DH should be "blamed"
If he I saw retaining too much fluid, then presumably they are prescribing diuretics (usually but not exclusively Furomaside)
TBH I think you need a clearer explanation.

Sorry, ipaditis.I meant to write "if he was retaining fluid" etc

Can't even spell Furosamide either

When I was on restricted fluids I was brought a different coloured jug containing only the amount of water I was allowed. This made it clear to all staff whatever their shift that I shouldn't be allowed more.

yes they are giving him Furosemide. he asks the nurses for water and they just bring it to him! even though I have asked them not to do that.

but like I was saying Now I'm not sure whether to apologise to DH for getting upset with him or give him space and am confused as to whether I was right or wrong to get upset/loose my temper somewhat

What a shame serkeen. I was over hydrated after my knee replacement due to intravenous fluids. Once that was explained I understood and reduced my fluid intake but I felt very thirsty. Maybe your DH does too? Maybe he's feeling awkward and took it out on you.
Have a day off visiting as you'll need a rest. It'll give him time to think. Go back in on Thursday and take some sort of refreshing sweets which could help keep him feeling less thirsty. I bet the ward staff will now be told to keep an eye on his fluid intake.
Now try to relax and have a calm evening and a good nights sleep!

Where is your husband getting all the extra fluid from, the bathroom tap? If the nurses are giving him a jug with the correct amount of water in, and keeping an eye on him to see that he is not exceeding it, and telling him how much he can drink and why then he will be drinking a suitable amount. The coloured jug idea is a good one, if they don't do that, then you could suggest it.

I don't think he needs an apology from you for telling him some home truths. If he doesn't help himself then no amount of help from the staff will work. Now that you have made your point though, you would do well to be tactful (unless he continues to work against his treatment)

"he asks the nurses for water and they just bring it to him! even though I have asked them not to do that." It is not up to you to instruct the nurses, it is up to the doctors to make it clear what the regime is. Back off on the nurses and speak again to the doctors, telling them what you just posted.

I am confused now about just what is happening with the water. He has been ordered to drink a certain amount, and presumably is well aware of that, but the doctor has told you he is consuming about twice what he should.

Either the nurses are not keeping to instructions and giving him refills to order - in which case they should get a rocket from the consultant and the charge nurse and be more strict with him in future, or he is going behind their backs and getting extra water for himself, in which case HE should be getting a rocket from the consultant, the charge nurse AND every nurse on the ward.

jane10 the refreshing sweet is a brilliant idea! why didn't I think of that, thank you, yes he does feel thirsty but needs must, you kept to your regime even though you felt thirsty because to not do that would have been silly, which is why I did get upset with my husband because he simply was not keeping to it.

Hi Elegran thank you for your advice, The Doctors do tell the nurses about the fluid restriction but they ignore it, especially when he starts moaning and groaning at them, a Nurse explained to me that if they refuse to bring the water to when my husband asks, he get upset with them.

All a bit awkward between my and my husband now that I lost my temper, as explained he sent me off home and said see you end of the week, he hasn't even called, which he was doing every evening.

Leave him to stew. Don't take it to heart though. He's not well and you're stressed out. Go in on Thursday - not quite the end of the week.
It might be difficult to open the conversation so, as I said bring some sweets or maybe juicy fruits? A bowl of freshly prepared strawberries would be something he wouldn't get in hospital?
Do something nice tomorrow.

Someone is making excuses or twisting the truth in this scenario, Serkeen. I don't know who it is, and it really doesn't matter to me, but I just DO NOT BELIEVE that nurses can't cope with a patient being upset with them over a medical requirement, or that they are willing to defy a consultant and risk a patient's health for want of a bit of firmness. One of the first things that a nurse is taught is stick to the treatment prescribed, and the next is that what is right for a patient is not always going to please them.

Serkeen tell the doctors what you have told us about the nurses and ask them (the doctors) to insist that the nurses follow instructions.

If it were me, I'd go in again tomorrow, apologise for losing my temper and explain that it was only because of my anxiety for his health. I'd ask him to please try to keep to the fluid intake he's been told, as it'll help him to get better.

It's understandable if he's been feeling a bit bolshie, tho, after staying in hospital so long, especially if you are not being given clear information.

I agree with farnorth

I haven't met a nurse yet who would go against the consultant's wishes to appease a patient.

'Now then, Mr Serkeen, we can't have you overloading yourself with fluids now, can we. Doctor's orders! Your nice wife will be in later to see you, do you want me to tell her that you're misbehaving?'