If you could change one thing from the past...

How sad Bebe. I had a cousin who like you had a baby in the 60s. She was forced to have him adopted and grieved for him until she died.

I would have joined the Wrens in the 60's

I wish I could start again and be braver - I am nervous of so many things. It makes me dread any day that I have to step out of my comfort zone.

nothing I could do about it - but it would have been nice to stop my friend wrapping her car around a tree with me in the middle! 7 months in hospital, 1 leg much shorter than the other, 2 years to go back to (sort of) normal - and 46 years later a knee replacement due to consequences of - and a half knee replacement next year.

And yet - perhaps I've learnt more from having to deal with this than anything else in my life ... so perhaps not.

Some of it has been very bad but If I could only change one thing it would be my son NOT getting cancer at 44. He is remission now thanks heavens.

Yes we are in contact now - mainly because I sent a letter to social Services where she was adopted and also registered with the Brutush Adoption Society as an intermediary if she ever made contact. So that worked - she knew I was looking for her if she ever went to look at her file. But it was 30 years before we made contact briefly and now she lives on the other side of the world with three children and a busy lifestyle - after 30 years apart how do you pick up those pieces. We are just strangers - we have no memories together. I drive three hours to see her for an afternoon when she comes over to visit her other family every two years and she has never met her half brothers - I don't think she feels the need to. but I do write constantly. At least she knows who her natural' mother was and is. I was worried that she hadnt had a happy life but she seems to have been ok and certainly is now. So I have to be happy with what I have - if she had been still in England I would have been able to include her in our family lives. Her adoptive Mother is not happy that we are in contact and had to have counselling !! our meetings have to be brief and secret when she comes here.

I wish I had taken more care of my health - done more regular exercise and eaten better (or less!) over the years. I may not have got the health problems I now have and worry about all the time.