Daughter &Husband won’t let anyone see newborn

Agree

No one does this where I am in the NW ....like no one .....new mums can't wait to show off their babies ......I was present for the birth of both of my DDs girls ( as are many of my granny friends ) and saw my younger DSs DD when she was around 3 hours old .....bonding is fine ...but it doesn't need to be at the exclusion of everyone else

This is how the younger generation are now I’m afraid not worth getting upset over although I totally agree it’s very odd and I’d feel hurt! Apparently they need several days to bond. I can’t help smiling to myself but I’m afraid that’s how it is

Shelf life - it’s not harsh when OP is posting to a public forum, OP will be subject to different perspectives. Don’t post to a public forum if you can’t handle seeing things from a different perspective when asking for advice

Isnt it a bit like Harry and Megan, perhaps a picture of little toes might be sent.

That perhaps helps to explain Harry and Megan's reluctance to publish photos of Archie when he was born?

I think it's a brilliant idea

Keep vulnerable newborns away from germs

Ensure Mum has time to recover instead of worrying about house guests

Having the partner on his paternity leave so both can rest and bond

I think we need to look at the upsides for parents and newborn here instead of the downsides for family

MissAdventure

You're sorely mistaken if you think "everybody" wants to whip a baby away from its mother.

Tell that to the myriad of posters on Mumsnet who for some reason don't have the backbone to tell the grabby relatives to give the baby back and leave. Some family members are respectful and considerate. Others feel entitled to hold the baby for hours because "mum and dad see the baby everyday". It's a real issue for many.

In regards to people’s comments about photos, I think A lot of new parents aren’t sending photos because people will take them and post them to social media without their consent or send to other people, etc. and in the world of technology these photos can up in the hands of the wrong people…

You’re not alone🥰
We had to wait 2 weeks before my son and dil allowed us to travel and visit our long awaited grandson. It still hurts today. We couldn’t wait for family to visit our new birn son.

Very hurtful,but you can make up for it later,once you hold that lovely baby all will be forgotten.

I know that when I was a baby the belief then was that you were strict with children and did not allow them to dominate the entire houseshold. They were fed, washed and burped and then put down. If they cried then then it "exercised their lungs". help from relatives was probably welcomed to give new mums a bit of rest.

For all those complaining about not getting messages and photos, the irony of ruminating on the glory days when you allegedly did things the right way, is that it shows your very modern addiction to instant gratification by way of mobile phones with cameras today. You didn't have access to mobile phone with cameras back then, and yet you all survived without seeing photos or receiving instant text messages. In the rare instance that a young couple decides to disconnect from all that for a short while for something truly meaningful to them, they are villains. All because they aren't doing what you want them too. We can only become new parents once in a lifetime. Let them be happy. Why center yourself in someone else's life choices? Another irony in this little thread, that we think it's okay to insult people because they aren't living according to your own standards. And the young couple is self-centered?

I think they are acting unreasonably. All this twaddle about bonding gets on my wick!!!! They will need babysitters in the future yet they are denying you all of the things that happens in the early days. I feel annoyed and upset for you. Hugs.

biglouis

I know that when I was a baby the belief then was that you were strict with children and did not allow them to dominate the entire houseshold. They were fed, washed and burped and then put down. If they cried then then it "exercised their lungs". help from relatives was probably welcomed to give new mums a bit of rest.

Thankfully times changed as we became more knowledgable. Fathers are needed more than other relatives because fathers today are expected to actually parent. Better that the parents support each other and give each other a rest than to depend on extended family.

Purplepixie

I think they are acting unreasonably. All this twaddle about bonding gets on my wick!!!! They will need babysitters in the future yet they are denying you all of the things that happens in the early days. I feel annoyed and upset for you. Hugs.

They aren't denying anyone anything. No one is entitled to anything. Let's stop this rubbish.

Feverjo

For all those complaining about not getting messages and photos, the irony of ruminating on the glory days when you allegedly did things the right way, is that it shows your very modern addiction to instant gratification by way of mobile phones with cameras today. You didn't have access to mobile phone with cameras back then, and yet you all survived without seeing photos or receiving instant text messages. In the rare instance that a young couple decides to disconnect from all that for a short while for something truly meaningful to them, they are villains. All because they aren't doing what you want them too. We can only become new parents once in a lifetime. Let them be happy. Why center yourself in someone else's life choices? Another irony in this little thread, that we think it's okay to insult people because they aren't living according to your own standards. And the young couple is self-centered?

That's because we saw the baby in person.

'Giving mum a bit of rest' does not mean cutting contact completely. If it were my daughter I would worry that something was seriously wrong if she or the father wouldn't even talk to me, four days after the birth.

MissAdventure

Feverjo

For all those complaining about not getting messages and photos, the irony of ruminating on the glory days when you allegedly did things the right way, is that it shows your very modern addiction to instant gratification by way of mobile phones with cameras today. You didn't have access to mobile phone with cameras back then, and yet you all survived without seeing photos or receiving instant text messages. In the rare instance that a young couple decides to disconnect from all that for a short while for something truly meaningful to them, they are villains. All because they aren't doing what you want them too. We can only become new parents once in a lifetime. Let them be happy. Why center yourself in someone else's life choices? Another irony in this little thread, that we think it's okay to insult people because they aren't living according to your own standards. And the young couple is self-centered?

That's because we saw the baby in person.

And if you lived further away? Were people able to magically transport themselves or did they cope like rational people should know how to?

No idea.
I'm not part of a homogenous mass of people.

eazybee

'Giving mum a bit of rest' does not mean cutting contact completely. If it were my daughter I would worry that something was seriously wrong if she or the father wouldn't even talk to me, four days after the birth.

People are allowed to not feel obligated to communicate every single day. Most people complaining barely had daily communications before the baby, yet after a baby is born we expect the tired new parents to suddenly communicate every single day and schedule weekly visits. It's all incredibly selfish. Has nothing to do with supporting the parents and everything to do with gratifying one's own desires regardless of the other party's wishes.

Nobody has said they expect that, though.

MissAdventure

No idea.
I'm not part of a homogenous mass of people.

My point exactly. Everyone here complaining about new parents simply because they made different choices completely misses that exact point you just made. People making different choices from us is NOT wrong. We aren't a homogenous mass.

Oh, so everyone doesn't want to just take the baby off their mum then?
I'm glad we're coming to some sort of agreement.

MissAdventure

Nobody has said they expect that, though.

Except we're discussing a baby who has been home 2 days. 2 days and everyone here is acting like the couple committed a crime. Lot's of folks need to get a grip.