Daughter &Husband won’t let anyone see newborn

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

Missinterpreted
Not sure what you mean here at all.

I think we all hope the new grandmother has had more news by now and is feeling a lot happier. Many of us are not criticising the new family either.

Your dog and bone message seems ambiguous to me...

I’m no mind reader but wonder if MissI is suggesting it’s all been said with knobs bells and whistles on.
I hope you’ll forgive me for joining late MissI but - surely it’s all about relationships, maybe with a little influence of current advice on baby care.
Fathers are much more involved. Attachment parenting advised, including baby led breast feeding. Routines seen as much less important than in the past.
The pandemic made us all more aware of risks to the vulnerable including babies of endless hugs from visitors
But ultimately, if grandparents share loving, trusting relationships with their adult children, they’d not be excluding, criticising and not communicating with each other

I'm not talking about the OP - I think that's been adequately covered. I'm talking about certain posters who just have to keep on having the last say, repeating themselves almost ad nauseum. We get the point, honestly...

As an aside, I am amused to note that it's increasingly common for families to "welcome " a new baby rather than the woman give birth to the child.
Maybe the stork brings it?

The difference with grandparents not seeing their new-born grandchildren in the past was due to circumstance, not wilful withdrawal without explanation. And people actually wrote letters if they didn't have access to telephones.

MissInterpreted

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

Some people don't like it when some posters don't read their posts or the full thread and twist what others say.
It's unfair and a form of goading.

NotSpaghetti

Missinterpreted
Not sure what you mean here at all.

I think we all hope the new grandmother has had more news by now and is feeling a lot happier. Many of us are not criticising the new family either.

Your dog and bone message seems ambiguous to me...

Quite!!

I truly hope that Cookieof4 has managed to see her daughter and meet her new granddaughter by now and is feeling much better. To not be able to see her daughter after such a momentous time as having her first baby will surely be very distressing for her. A mother wants to see that her own baby , her daughter, is okay, because there’s nothing worse for a mother than not really knowing.

MissInterpreted

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

'Some people' like to debate the matter and respond to other posts on it. It may well become repetitive, but isn't that the nature of social media?

It would be great if GN had a button to see all responses from OP without going throught every post, 15 pages of!

Has OP responded in any way?

Of course if is the parents choice- but as a mother, if my daughter refused for us to see a new baby and/or give any news- I'd be concerned as to why. In particular about her partner/OH being controlling and somehow attempting to isolate her from family at such a time when support could be invaluable.

Dickens

MissInterpreted

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

'Some people' like to debate the matter and respond to other posts on it. It may well become repetitive, but isn't that the nature of social media?

It is indeed, but some people need to learn where to draw the line. There's a fine line between repetition and it turning into a lecture.

Fleurpepper I agree with you. Coercive control is real and extremely damaging. I would also be concerned if I was not allowed to see my daughter in these circumstances.

Of course it may not be coercive control, but as mother had been with her daughter only the week before, if she was unable to see her daughter within a few days, alarm bells would be ringing.

MissInterpreted

Dickens

MissInterpreted

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

'Some people' like to debate the matter and respond to other posts on it. It may well become repetitive, but isn't that the nature of social media?

It is indeed, but some people need to learn where to draw the line. There's a fine line between repetition and it turning into a lecture.

Why not address those people individually then?

It would not be just one phone call, there could be other grandparents, siblings, and friends, sending texts would start text conversations and phone calls can be difficult to end.

One call probably would not be enough if the OP had a call it opens the door for the when can we visit conversation that means others would feel they could visit too.

There was a post from Cookieof4 on Thursday 8th August 20.35 saying the situation had not changed.

This is primarily about a mother/daughter relationship.
The baby was born on August 3rd and as far as I am aware the family have heard nothing further from the new parents. Names and photographs are not important but the welfare of the child and new mother is, and if it were my daughter I would be sick with worry, as they seemed to have a good relationship prior to the birth. I too wondered if the father was controlling in some way; speculation yes, but this is a very strange situation.
If of course, it is true; always that fear on social media.

Fleurpepper

It would be great if GN had a button to see all responses from OP without going throught every post, 15 pages of!

Has OP responded in any way?

Of course if is the parents choice- but as a mother, if my daughter refused for us to see a new baby and/or give any news- I'd be concerned as to why. In particular about her partner/OH being controlling and somehow attempting to isolate her from family at such a time when support could be invaluable.

ThanksFleurpepper
You've posted what I was thinking but didn't dare to.

As a mother, I'd be worried too, especially as mother and daughter seemed so close just prior to the birth.

Of course, it could be that they are just following the latest advice which does change as we all know. I hope so.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Dickens

MissInterpreted

Dickens

MissInterpreted

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

'Some people' like to debate the matter and respond to other posts on it. It may well become repetitive, but isn't that the nature of social media?

It is indeed, but some people need to learn where to draw the line. There's a fine line between repetition and it turning into a lecture.

Why not address those people individually then?

Because passive aggression is "easier".

Feverjo

maddyone

Fleurpepper I agree with you. Coercive control is real and extremely damaging. I would also be concerned if I was not allowed to see my daughter in these circumstances.

Of course it may not be coercive control, but as mother had been with her daughter only the week before, if she was unable to see her daughter within a few days, alarm bells would be ringing.

Projection is unhealthy. Sorry for your experience but you seem to mention it nearly every time a grandparent complains about not having their way. Not everyone's situation is your daughters. There is no reason whatsoever to bring up coercive control here. None at all.

I did. And nothing to do with my experience, but it could be one of the reasons here. How can you be so sure this is not what it is about in this case. What is your reasoning here?

Yes it could be one of the reasons Fleurpepper.

Cookieof4

My daughter and her husband welcomed their first baby 4 days ago. We were told in advance that they didn’t want anyone to come to the hospital. What we didn’t expect was short texts stating “she has been born” and “doing well” with no other information. They have been home for 2 days and we haven’t received a phone and they won’t answer any either. We haven’t received a picture and they haven’t told us her name. All we know is she is healthy. Our daughter hasn’t contacted us at all. Are we in the wrong for feeling hurt? How do we even deal with this? Our whole family just feels terrible.

Have you all not read the OP?

She clearly states when baby was born and when they went home, when she received texts "she has been born" and "doing well"

Surely encapsulating the situation!