Daughter &Husband won’t let anyone see newborn

Fleurpepper

Feverjo

maddyone

Fleurpepper I agree with you. Coercive control is real and extremely damaging. I would also be concerned if I was not allowed to see my daughter in these circumstances.

Of course it may not be coercive control, but as mother had been with her daughter only the week before, if she was unable to see her daughter within a few days, alarm bells would be ringing.

Projection is unhealthy. Sorry for your experience but you seem to mention it nearly every time a grandparent complains about not having their way. Not everyone's situation is your daughters. There is no reason whatsoever to bring up coercive control here. None at all.

I did. And nothing to do with my experience, but it could be one of the reasons here. How can you be so sure this is not what it is about in this case. What is your reasoning here?

We could pull many random "possible reasons" but that doesn't make it appropriate to put the idea in the OP's head without warrant. There's no reason to believe that your assertion isn't far-fetched based on the limited details here.

*pull many random reasons out of thin air.

Feverjo

MissInterpreted

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

Agreed. The usual suspects with their negative views of young mums and different choices surely come out.

You've never thought it could mean you?

🤔

It is perfectly appropriate to look at any possible reasons. Why does it bother you that much. I feel there is an issue there with you and your past, perhaps.

Fleurpepper

It is perfectly appropriate to look at any possible reasons. Why does it bother you that much. I feel there is an issue there with you and your past, perhaps.

Agreed.

There could be any reason, or none.

It's only been a week, if I count correctly. OP has been informed, if I read correctly. Perhaps whatever others seem to find so unacceptable to the texts has changed. Has OP returned again?

Callistemon213

Feverjo

MissInterpreted

Some people are like a dog with a bone on this thread. Jeez, let it go...

Agreed. The usual suspects with their negative views of young mums and different choices surely come out.

You've never thought it could mean you?

🤔

It's called sarcasm. I'm sorry you didn't pickup on that.

Fleurpepper

It is perfectly appropriate to look at any possible reasons. Why does it bother you that much. I feel there is an issue there with you and your past, perhaps.

It's not appropriate to pull accusations of abuse as a possibility in a perfectly normal scenario where there is no indication of such, especially to a mother who already rightly or wrongly upset. Tact is a wonderful thing in life.

You can 'feel' all you like. You're far from on base. I do have an issue with controlling women attacking postpartum women. It's nasty.

Well, why are are accusations of 'controlling women' any more appropriate than thinking that there is a possibility, of a controlling partner?

You accusation that the mother is 'controlling, or that any of us are 'attacking a postpartum woman, is totally out of order here.

I never called the mother controlling. Please don't put words in my mouth (fingers). That was in reference to the unhinged comments here condemning this young woman. This young mother has been called 'rude' 'precious' and other names. She has been put down for the possibility that she may want time with just her baby and husband. Just because she isn't here to defend herself doesn't make it any less nasty.

I called people engaging in this nasty name-calling controlling because it's controlling to refuse to accept another adult has the right to choose her own path during her postpartum period. The idea that it is wrong to not follow what others have done in the past is very controlling. Bitterness at another person's freewill is controlling.

You have a very strange definition of 'controlling'.

You have a very strange way of defining the life choices of other women, but hey ho. Here we are

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Yes, you cannot seem to stay away from commenting here. Dogs to bones indeed lol. Plural.

But I digress, don't want to distract from the topic at hand.

Feverjo

You have a very strange way of defining the life choices of other women, but hey ho. Here we are

I haven't defined anyone's life choices. But I'm bowing out now and leaving the rest of the dogs to fight over whatever bones remain...

I'd pop a note through their door asking them to contact you one way or another or you'll be thinking they are not alright!!
It's one thing to want to spend time alone with their baby at first, but it's quite another to suddenly drop contact with family and close friends!!
OR, you could ask police to do a wellness check on them, just to let them know you're concerned!

If stalking them with a note is bad enough, using the police for these manipulative purposes is time out worthy

Very very bad suggestions

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Some of these comments on this thread are attacking other posters and are way out of order.

Hithere

If stalking them with a note is bad enough, using the police for these manipulative purposes is time out worthy

Very very bad suggestions

Glad I’m not the only one who felt so! Sending the police around? For what ? “My adult child refuses to contact me!” I can’t imagine a faster way for op to find themselves in a very long time out! We’re i the new parents that would war one the displeasure of being the absolute last person to get a photo or visit !

'Stalking them with a note?'
What utter rubbish.

Contacting the police; a big NO. I agree eazybee that saying leaving a note is stalking is utter rubbish.

Smileless2012

Contacting the police; a big NO. I agree eazybee that saying leaving a note is stalking is utter rubbish.

I agree

A friendly note saying "Hope all is going well, let us know if you need anything. Hope to see you all soon" would be fine.

Calling the police? I think not!

maddyone

I truly hope that Cookieof4 has managed to see her daughter and meet her new granddaughter by now and is feeling much better. To not be able to see her daughter after such a momentous time as having her first baby will surely be very distressing for her. A mother wants to see that her own baby , her daughter, is okay, because there’s nothing worse for a mother than not really knowing.

I agree.

It has now been 10 days since the birth.

I hope the situation has improved op?

Hithere

If stalking them with a note is bad enough, using the police for these manipulative purposes is time out worthy

Very very bad suggestions

Yes. This is so extreme. Luckily for her daughter, I don't think the OP is irrational enough to go this far. I have faith that most mums wouldn't dream to cause this level of drama.