Nasty/ignorant colleague

There could be a lot of reasons. How is she with others ?
Could you get her to one side and tell her you are feeling a sense of awkwardness from her and ask what is the reason maybe unbeknown to yourself, you have said or done something that you haven't realised has upset her.
There is obviously something for her to be this way with you.

At least if you face the situation, you can deal with it opposed to endless upset and worry. X

I've worked with people like this. Three times, the individual like this has been my direct supervisor. They can be poisonous and affect your relationships with others too.

I have found the only way to deal with it is to try to do your job the best you can. I've always been a bit of a workaholic and tend to do a good job, which prevents people like this from completely putting the boot in.

Let's face it. In life, we will encounter a lot of a**holes. It can be hard though.

She is ok with others. We’ve never spoken, which makes it harder as I know it’s not something I’ve ever said to her.
There is another work colleague who this young woman knows as she doesn’t ever speak to me either.
Sent to Coventry I believe is the term.
It’s now left me not wanting to speak to either of them, not that I’m around them very much.
I’m baffled by her coldness.

Sorry to hear what you’ve been through Gagajo.

I go in the kitchen to make a coffee and she finishes what she’s doing, and it’s clear she’s not going to talk to the likes of me!
I’m left feeling awful and I’m not a awful person.
I try not to let this bother me, but gosh it’s so hard I agree.

I wonder if you’re giving off the vibe that you don’t like her - the heading of your post is an indicator that this may be a two way dislike?

Ignore her attitude,it`s called being a bully.
If she knows she has got to you she wins.

@Casdon. I don’t know her not dislike her, but with how she treats me and makes me feel, I’m not sure I would like her.

@timetogo. My husband has said the same thing to me, when I told him.
I will try to ignore. I’ve even stopped going in the kitchen in fear of her being around pushing and rushing past. It leaves me so uncomfortable.

Well you re calling her a nasty ignorant colleague in your heading but if you ve never spoken to her how do you work out that she’s nasty or ignorant
Some people gel some don’t just get on with your work and talk to colleagues that seem pleasant toward you

Good advice bluebelle

Make her talk to you.
Look her directly in the eye when you meet and say good morning. Mention the weather, a news item... nothing obscure!
If she is deliberately trying to isolate/intimidate you this shows she has failed.
Hold your head up high and be you.
Her behaviour is childish and you should not lower yourself, much less let it affect your own behaviour.
Be the grown up!!

Can you offer her a coffee in a pleasant voice and see if she can warm up?
I had this once at a place of work and eventually discovered she had misread me and thought I'd been negative and surly towards her when I was trying to look after myself as I felt somewhat intimidated. We had a very long chat after work one day, both apologized and became quite close.
She was one of the few people I kept in touch with once I'd left that job.

Good luck.

@NotSpaghetti. This is a good piece of advice. I’ll certainly think on this, thank you.

Stop worrying about what she may or may not think of you. Less attention usually gets more as the saying goes.

I experienced this from a small group of women when I started my first job. It took a little while but we did eventually become friendly and I still exchange Christmas and birthday cards with one of them over 50 years later. It turned out that because I was more highly qualified than them they decided before meeting me that I would be snooty. They found out I wasn’t but I had to work on proving that. Could your colleague have formed some pre-conceived idea about you based on what she knows of your background and qualifications?

germanshepherdsmum - this was quite close to my situation too. And I was older than my colleague who was afraid I would be judging her.

It sounds like jealousy to me. You may never have spoken, but she’s built something up in her mind, and dislikes you for it.

You need to break that if you can, and confront her. Just keep in your mind, that she is most likely struggling more than you are.

Good luck

There are probably people that you do not like, it is ok not to like someone.

In most cases the people you work with are colleagues not friends, be polite but keep your distance.

NotSpaghetti

Can you offer her a coffee in a pleasant voice and see if she can warm up?
I had this once at a place of work and eventually discovered she had misread me and thought I'd been negative and surly towards her when I was trying to look after myself as I felt somewhat intimidated. We had a very long chat after work one day, both apologized and became quite close.
She was one of the few people I kept in touch with once I'd left that job.

Good luck.

I think this could be the reason too! When I was young I was painfully shy, and did not engage with anyone I thought might not like me, but just kept my head down. Many years later, many of these people are good friends, and I discovered that I had had the reputation of being stand-offish and unfriendly!

Only the other day I avoided catching the eye of someone I know while talking to his wife and daughter! All three of them I hold in the greatest respect, and I expect maybe because they are females I've been able in the past to get to know them better.

But before I left I turned to him and said 'hi how are you?', and he turned to me smiling and we chatted! I know he is shy too and a little deaf in one ear, and I had no reason to think he doesn't like me but was too shy to risk finding out!

So if you would like to find out, I think NotSpaghetti's advice is good! You might be surprised and you will lose nothing.

A new colleague you have never spoken to

So speak to her, she probably thinks you don’t like her.

Either way you will know for sure

Go upto her when she is sitting having her lunch or coffee in the canteen/rest room and sit down opposite.

"I feel akward approaching you like this but I feel the need to say a word. I know we never spoke but I get the impression that Ive upset or offended you in some way. Id like to try to sort it out so we can work together."

Then the ball is in her court. If she shrugs it off then you have made the effort to make the peace. It could be that she is a very private person and never makes the first move.

Sorry, but I don't think she is either being ignorant or nasty because she doesn't talk to you!
Have you thought that she may be shy and is waiting for you to speak first ? Just a hello would do, same to the other woman that she knows.
The fact that you haven't spoken to them makes me think that they may be thinking the same about you !
You don't have to be bosom buddies with everyone that works at the same place, just pleasant. You won't always get on with everyone that you meet either, but who knows, if you make the first move with just a smile or a hello, it could change things. If no response, just do your own job and let them do theirs. Things could change in the future.
Good Luck !

DiscoDancer1975

It sounds like jealousy to me. You may never have spoken, but she’s built something up in her mind, and dislikes you for it.

You need to break that if you can, and confront her. Just keep in your mind, that she is most likely struggling more than you are.

Good luck

And the original poster has built something up in her mind, too. She and this colleague have never spoken, but she thinks hat she dislikes her and is "nasty and ignorant".

It is high time that you did speak to each other. She could be thinking that you don't like her , and that you are nasty and stand-offish for avoiding her whenever you can and not speaking to her when you can't help meeting.

No need to become bosom pals and exchange life histories, just smile and say "Hello" when your paths cross, and "Pass the milk, please" if you meet when making a cup of coffee. You may find that she is very nice, and if she isn't, you are not committed to doing any more than that.

Carry on being the lovely person you are.. let it slide. yes, I know it hurts, but ....

wondering how close you have to work with her?? with her? or near her? any necessary contact?

just know how loved you are here.. not everyone can "like" everyone
not everyone is "nice" look at Putin, just as an example!