Looking awful!

Reading your post with interest fumanchu, and hoping you get inspirational replies. Ive nothing sadly that I can offer in way of help as Im suffering similar myself. Thought I looked half reasonable until I saw a recent photo and it was horrendous. I am trying to drink more water, I do take an interest in clothes and wear what I think is reasonably fashionable without the dreaded mutton and lamb scenario, but its an uphill battle. Im approaching 65. I get my hair cut and coloured regular, use fairly good skin products and some makeup daily. I try and walk an hour each day and go to yoga and pilates on a weekly basis. Cant think what else I can do !

fumanchu I'm just a bit older than you and so in the same boat (I don't have Addison's Disease but also live with a long term chronic condition that will need treatment for the rest of my life). I get so depressed, I have developed big yellow patches round my eyes (xanthelasma - cholesterol deposits under the skin - my cholesterol levels were tested and are OK) and the first thing I do in the morning is brush on concealer but they still show. I have even looked into the cost of private cosmetic surgery, expensive and with variable results. I've recently been very unwell too, have rosacea, lost probably a little too much weight, feel exhausted most of the time and just look awful. I've never been good looking but have aged recently. I just keep thinking that my family don't care what I look like and that I may well feel better in a little while. I've been told by my rheumatologist that I should take aerobic excercise too and will try to go to the local gym as that should improve my mood - although I'd really prefer to exercise with a paper bag over my head so no one can see me, especially the fit and the young! I guess I'm struggling to accept the changes in my body and there will be many who tell us that they don't care about the way they look. I'm considering eccentricity as an option now though - perhaps green hair and permanent bright pink sun glasses.

Eccentricity - now that is a good route to go down! I must definitely give that a try!

I am sure none of you posters look half as bad as you think. A smile is said to make us all beautiful - if you get eccentric enough I guess you will be smiling a lot!

I am one who doesn't care, don't even have mirrors apart from a tiny one in drawer. But I am sorry for those who do care ,I have three sisters who care how they look so I do understand

And I recommend the eccentric look , works for me

Sorry don't have any miracles for you Gransnetters but can recommend some cosmetics. I've recently started using make up from lookfabulousforever.com and their concealer and blusher are the best I've ever bought and having a pale skin and under eye shadows, I've tried a lot in the past! The make up's not cheap but it's specially formulated for older skins so doesn't disappear easily. The company's online only but if what you buy isn't right for you they'll replace it. I'm nothing to do with this company , by the way, just a satisfied customer.

Without knowing anything other than what you have told us, might I suggest that you think you look awful because you feel awful?
Being permanently exhausted will inevitably show in your face,and your illness is probably affecting your hair too but most of all your self-confidence. Hopefully you are still the same lovely petson you have always been inside so how about treating yourself to things like reflexology (heaven) neck and shoulder massages to ease tension, aromatherapy to lift your spirits a little and a good cut (and colour if you want) for your hair. Beauty counters are not always the best places for unbiased advice, but a good tinted moisturiser (e.g.Bobbi Brown) or Liz Earle skin tint over their lovely neroli moisturiser may make you FEEL better. Different colours of clothes may help, try scarves in colours which "lift" your face - you will know best which outfits make you feel good so WEAR THEM!
Your friends and family will not be nearly as critical as you are of yourself so work on the inside if you possibly can.
If that fails, do what I do, leave the glasses off when looking in a mirror!!

I think a lot of this depression about looks is to do with the time of year. Most of us look pale, grey and diminished in February, surely? I know I do. Once the warmer weather comes and the sun shines we'll all feel better. Meantime the only thing to do is to smile and wear red lipstick.

I agree Notso This is a terrible time of year to be looking into the mirror, the poor old skin has probably been indoors for a long time, and possibly taken a beating from wind and rain, but and I am one of those who believes that a blow in the fresh air does everything good. I also agree a smile is worth a try, usually brings a smile in return which is heartwarming, and a little make up always makes me feel better (I only wear lipstick). I have found NOT looking in the mirror as soon as I get out of bed also helps.

Again, and again I recommend giving the blood group diet "Eat Right for Your Type" a trial.

I truly believe it helps with every aspect of health and it costs nothing. All you need to do is a bit of research and make some choices.

[Not that I look that fabulous, but I do feel full of energy.]

Give it a trial, and if anyone wants to pick my brains pm me.
All the best.

Persistentdonar
Thank you for the info,not heard of it before but I'm going to go have a read up on it.

How i sympathise with you. Although i do aerobics three times a week, play indoor and outdoors bowls, gardening in the nice weather and try to walk everywhere, i look into the mirror and see myself starting to look frail and i hate it. I am 65 this year so god knows how i will look in another 2 years!!!!

If you go into Boots on a quiet day, they might do a makeover for you. Tell the girls that you feel awful and ask what makeup would suit you.

Having had one thing after another this winter I think I look like death warmed up. And, I look like my mum, which was a shock yet again in M&S this morning.

I think I look better with blusher and lipstick so always wear them.

Nanamacgeek I too have rosacea and I use Clinique Redness Solutions moisturiser cream..it is expensive but you only need a little every day and it really works. Don't be put off by the funny green colour.

Gym does help, make myself go as I have immune system arthritis. Often look dire, have found a little light fake tan and having eyebrows and eyelashes dyed helps. Those tricks plus a little blusher help me look like I still belong above ground!!

How you feel physically shows on your face every time. You must be upset by the diagnosis of Addison's disease but with luck it will be well controlled by medication. I can only suggest positive thinking, not easy when you feel low. But if you were pretty you still are & always will be - you just need a bit of cheering up. As soon as you feel you can, get a new hairstyle and a few new clothes. Only a few weeks until Spring! And good luck.

Take your glasses off, soft focus helps.

Sorry some of you are suffering with conditions. Thankfully I am not but I am a physical wreck! I have fake teeth, fake hair, my skin which was good up until now has red blotches and spots and I am gaining weight for the first time in my life. Aargh.... I have heard of that blood group diet. I believe Cliff Richard does it. I will take a look.

It is hard to accept that we are aging! I have recently had to abandon my contacts for glasses (but at least they hide some of the bags) and now had to stop colouring my hair so rapidly going white. Have been trying to embrace the new me!

I've put on weight over the last few years and developed arthritis in the hip which affects the way I move and also causes pain which affects my facial expression. From looking reasonably pretty I feel I look like a haggard old woman now. So I do sympathise.

I mentioned to my GP that I was feeling depressed and worthless, she referred me to be assessed for counselling and I'm hoping that might help with the feeling of being a haggard old lady as well.

I think the eccentricity route is definitely one to consider. I always think I would have been a goth had I been born later, I wore black all the time and literally hung around in graveyards as it fitted my sad mood. I've wondered about going goth now, but I'm not sure how to go about it in my sixties. It would certainly be eccentric, though!

KatyK, I have read that Cliff Richard only eats one meal a day!

I keep looking at friends and thinking 'gosh, they've aged suddenly' SIL ( recently lost her husband, my brother ,after a gruelling six months) friend (90 odd year old mother with severe dementia , hospitalised 300 miles away, worried sick) See another old friend on Monday whom I havent seen for over a year . Last time I saw her after a gap I walked past her ...The awful thing is ,they are probably thinking the same about me .I think late sixtes is when it all starts to 'go' ,sadly . The weird thing is I think I look ok-ish 'in the flesh' but in photographs ..oh God .
Being unwell/on meds obviously doesnt help .
I don't sleep terribly well and a really bad night certainly shows now .
Have just lost a stone which helps with the self confidence and fortunately I don't really lose it off my face. Keep thinking I'll bite the bullet and go gray but I think I might just become a colourless blob if I do that (very fair skinned) M DDs tell me they'll say when , as they put it, my hair doesnt 'work' ...
I sometimes think I should just resign myself but vanity wins .

Fumanchu and others with chronic illnesses. I have Polymyalgia which has given me puffy and dark shadow eyes, not a pretty sight.

So I now cleanse with Liz Earle cleanser and hot clothe, which really clears my skin up.

After I have out on my foundation Max Faxtor 3 in 1, I put L'oreal concealer in a wand under my eyes. I always wear eye shadow to detract from my bags. There is a very cheap make in Boots that only costs about £2.00 with a lovely colour range. I always do my eyebrows another trick to detract from bags. Boots no17 have some nice lipsticks.

I give my hair a few flicks with my gas hair curler, and voilà a reasonable image.

Hope that helps.

Years ago I remember seeing a poster that said "Women's equality will only be achieved when women can grow fat, bald and paunchy and still think they're attractive to the opposite sex"

I'm not yet 61 but I've been invisible for the past 20 years, and still am. I've recently taken to wearing makeup (never done that before in my life) and it still makes no difference (though a shop assistant today did tell me she thought I had been pretty when I was younger).

Long ago decided that it's not the outside that counts. It's what's on the inside. Even when I was young (and perhaps pretty) I didn't think I was, so that's not going to change now. I do leave my dressing table thinking wow, you look hot, but the first mirror I pass in a public place shows me an old hag carrying to much weight.

I'm currently borderline - do I care? I have friends aplenty who love me and appreciate me for who I am. I have family, and I have DGS. What does it matter what I look like, so long as I am loved? My only real regret is not having a partner (I've been flying solo for 20 years), but I do know I'm loved - just not romantically.

Guess that's my lot in life!