Friends excluding me

Take up some new hobbies and make some new friends - easier said than done, I know.

Then be a little less outspoken with them. Still be honest, no fake crap, just a little more circumspect about how you express yourself and thus kinder to them and yourself.

I think you did exactly the right thing. Flirting and messaging your husband is just not to be tolerated. Sounds like she told your other friends a few lies. I would have a word with your other friends and warn them to be careful.

Try to be less black and white. It is nothing to shout about. Adults, especially by the time they get to ‘our’ age should have developed the ability to see shades of grey.

With friends like that who needs enemies?

As MacCavity2 says, the one who was texting your husband probably told a few lies to the others. A word with one of the others who you are closer to may enlighten you.

I think it's time to not bother, leave them in the past and find new friends and interests. It's not fair, but you probably got labelled as the one who 'snapped'.

The woman texting your husband has probably smeared you to the rest of them.

(I ) would show the texts to the others, and have a laugh about how she tried to mussle in on your man - This will put the wind up all the ladies as we have an unwritten code (don't worry it's not optional like "Brabin's code" ) not to mess with partners.

Otherwise, set out on your own and find a coffee and knitting group, drawing class etc to tide you over until you replace the old friends.

Time of friendship is not ever trumped by betrayal.
Set them free, if they are really friends you'll hook up again.

Make more friends, anyway.

This happened to me with a similar group. I later found out that one of them who had some mental health issues had told them I had accused her of killing my cat which was found poisoned.She didn't even live near me but the cat was found near a neighbour who had a similar surname.The group believed her they all avoided me so I moved on.

They aren't friends. Only acquaintances. Move on.

Do you want to stay close friends with them? Therein lies the answer about what to do next. Maybe widen your circle a bit anyway and seek out more like minded people. Although I like to spend time with people who are very different to me sometimes as it opens my mind to new ideas and attitudes. Being blunt is all very well but can you say the same thing in a softer way and be just as effective? Last thing - my granny was a fount of wisdom and used to say “if you want a friend you have to be a friend”. Not saying you aren’t but it might be worth looking at both sides and thinking whether it is time to move on or dip your toe in new circles. Friends should make you feel good about yourself. Good luck.

I wonder if part of your feeling of isolation is because of having a relatively new baby (8 months or so?)
Are you back at work yet, or planning to do so?
It can really distance you from your old friends when they are still child free, they just don’t understand how your priorities have changed.
Just because you may go back a long way doesn’t mean you still have much in common - we all change and move on.
I would look to develop new friendships with other mums and couples with similar aged children. The dads can find solidarity just as much as the mums!
Oh and bang the texting and flirting firmly on the head.

Texting, flirting with your husband? Friends like that you can do without and you were correct to tackle her about it. Just carry on with your life, you don't need them. If your other friends in the group knew what she was doing, they should have said something re her and your husband. ( I also think I would have given my husband short shrift as well, unless he did not welcome the attention). I do alot of things alone, if I want to see a show I buy a ticket and go. See if you could perhaps join a keep-fit class or do a subject you enjoy. I don't think these friends were necessarily real friends. I certainly would not be messaging/flirting with anybody's husband, let alone my friends.

I can only echo the posts that have said it's time to move on and make new friends. It doesn't really sound as if these were real friends anyway.
You can make a more positive life for yourself if you try.Not easy but doable

MacCavity2 is spot on.
And where did she get your DH`s mobile number from ?.

If none of them have been in touch to check the facts, explain their perspective etc then they are not friends really are they. Can you find ways to make new friends now?

A friend does not flirt with another friend's husband.

Time to move on.

They probably find your black or white outlook a little too feisty for comfort.

When you called out your friend, did you call out your husband too?

Congratulations on the new baby. That must have been shared on another thread.

Why waste any time on them? They were not real friends, just a group you hung out with and were clearly peripheral to the group.

Find other interests, whether hang-gliding or cross stitch and make new friends where you have a solid common interest.

I do not think you were particularly outspoken. A friend trying to flirt with your partner, is not on and I see no reason for not calling her out as you did. Someone who acts like that is impervious to hints or sublety. It is full on 'hand off' or nothing.

I can’t get past the fact you started your thread with .....
So .?

If you’ve got a new baby I guess you’re fairly young (compared to me anyway). One thing I’ve learned is that groups of friends come and go as you move through life. Maybe only one or two stay the course. And, as I found out, even after 50 years, people change and a friendship can reach its end.

It’s always hurtful to be rejected but I’d just let them go. Plenty of new friends out there. ?

About three years ago I introduced one of my oldest friends to my neighbour who is a newish friend. They hit it off. Now they go out together and my old friend visits my new friend and because this all happens next door to me I see and hear them often. I did say to my old friend that it makes me feel uncomfortable and she accused me of being childish and has cut contact with me. At first I was devastated but I have now accepted the situation. I am still friendly with my next door neighbour it would be so uncomfortable if I wasnt. and we are all in our seventies!

I thought this was GRANSnet? MUMSnet (for mums with babies etc) is another network?:/

As the jokes say, I've got two words for you. Move on.

There is honesty and there is honesty to the point of rudeness. I'm not talking about the woman who was playing games with your husband (who obviously needed a bit of blunt talking) but generally. Tact is not dishonesty. Consideration for people's feelings is not dishonesty. Pause before thinking and if your comment is honest but is going to hurt someone, ask yourself whether it is really necessary.
Losing any group of friends even if it was not really working out is still a loss that can be painful to bear but it is just part of life.

I can’t get past the fact you started your thread with .....So ...?

It’s a generational thing Bluebelle ........