Paying grandparents for childcare

That would be a waste of time - you would just go out and buy something for your GC. Mrs. P cannot pass a bay shop without being magically drawn in.

bay ??? = baby

pompa it is a strange phenomenon that grandmothers are drawn to shops that cater for babies and young children! I thought it was just me and am relieved to know it is obviously beyond my control!

Message deleted by Gransnet.

My deceased MIL would only child mind if I paid her. My youngest is 43 now.

Although I have loved looking after my GS after being made redundant and looking for work, now really need to get a job and trying to fit it into our routine. So it would solve so many problems for us all if I could get some help, would love to spoil him with buying stuff but spoil him by doing lots of fun things instead.

We look after our 2 grandsons full time as both their parents are teachers. I love the fact that I am helping my daughter and son-in-law to better themselves so that they can give my grandsons the best in life. It is not a chore it is a privilege and I feel honored that they trust us to look after them.

misunderstood I agree 100% with your principles but some of us would welcome a token amount ...can't work because we're doing this to help our kids...still have bills to pay myself...not all unfortunately in your financial situation where it can be offered for free...

I can't afford materialistically to spoil my 2 very young granddaughters but I can give time freely which is of more value than purchased items. They will have memories of the times spent.....ipods, ipads etc etc will be long gone in the bin

I have mixed feeling as my husband and I are registered childminders and work together and we need every penny we earn because we are in a lot of debt.

We are limited to the number of children we can care for by Ofsted so if we gave a free place for a grandchild we would be out of pocket and find it very hard to manage, yet at the same time I would feel terrible about charging for my own flesh and blood.

Not a nice position to be in.

Happygran do you manage childminding?...I'm a qualified teacher so familiar with the rules etc OFSTED.. my daughter has often suggested I take in other kids to earn ...but reckon it would be so hard work for me now...although like you unfortunately find ourselves at this age with debt

It was looking after my grandchildren that made me realise how old I was and how tired I get now. And, given that I was missing out on overtime at work whenever I did so, payment of some kind would have been nice, even if it was just petrol expenses and the provision of a meal when I was there.

So much depends on circumstances so I think it should be made possible to be paid if people need and want to be. We could probably pay for a childminder with the money we spend on travel & taking them out so parents have a day in peace to work - they work from home. However, our efforts have given me a dividend today as we are co-Director's of their business. An alternative idea would be for 1 parent to be paid an allowance to look after their own kids for at least the first year (or five).

Hi Lynne

I have been a childminder for seventeen years and really enjoy it. My husband was made redundant two years ago so he registered and we work together now. It is very hard work but it is made easier if there are two of you. Would you maybe consider hiring an assistant if you had enough work? You can care for more children if there are two of you and we manage to make a good living out of it at the moment, that is always subject to change of course!

I think that you would be a great childminder as you already as so much experience behind you, go for it Lynne.

Happy to answer any questions you have. x

Happygran.....thank you.....

I don't feel grandparents should ask for a weekly salary, maybe any out of pocket expenses like nappies, food etc. Also as someone has said the odd treat would be nice. A lady I work with needs her job, she's part-time about 25 hours a week, and her daughter has been putting pressure on her to leave the job and care for the 2 pre-school children. The discussion resulted in an awful row, as the Granny said she would if the DD would pay her the salary she was giving up. My colleague felt awful but she isn't working for 'pin money' but to help stretch out her state pension. She has no other pension but this, so the money she earns does more then help. Also, she works for a high end supermarket and gets excellent discounts plus an annual profit-related bonus. The daughter would have to pay for child care anyway so why not pay her mother. Difficult situation.

I looked after 2 pre school children for 2 weeks last year, and couldn't do it without help [it so made me realise how old I had become] and yet I can still cope with a long day at work [albeit going straight to bed when I get home!]. My daughter, realising that there seemed to be no after school facilities where she lived, thought about setting up an after school club for a few children. When I said I could help for a small wage it was pointed out that she couldn't afford to pay me. The problem your friend probably faces, dorsetpennt is that whoever does look after the children will not love and care for them the way that she would. And, what would happen if she was poorly one day?It's like emotional blackmail because we love our grandchildren so much.

I really don't think grand-parents should be 'expected' to take care of grand-children on a daily basis. If they want to, fine - but this should be respected and rewarded, if not by a salary as such, by treats.

We have several friends both here and in the UK who are totally trapped by child-care. One couple bought a motorhome when they retired to explore Europe which they never had a chance to do. She then had 3 years of battling against breast cancer and finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. One son then asked them to help look after the little ones 2 1/2 days per week. Then the other returned from abroad and told parents, if you look after his, it's only fair that you look after ours the other 2 1/2 days, and then felt they couldn't say no. Similar story for several friends in UK.

Recently they gave them 2 months notice that they were going away for 2 weeks with said motorhome, and both sons went crazy saying 'you can't go, we do not have an alternative for the kids and don't trust anybody else'. They finally put their foot down and said enough is enough- they'd continue to help, but they'd like a bit more appreciation, and that if that alternatives had to be found for when they want to go away for a few days or couple of weeks. BRAVO. For them it is NOT about the money- but about time and freedom.

Parameters need to be set from the start. I've only just realised [having been 'sacked'] how much I was giving up to look after the grandchildren and how hard I was finding it. And, [I know this sounds awful] how little pleasure I was getting from it because it was another chore to do on top of all the others [along with working as well]. I was too tired to be a 'proper' granny.

Can't wait to have the little ones for part of their school holidays as soon as they are a bit older. And I would be on the next plane in an emergency- but no, it is not our 'job' to bring up our grand-children on a daily basis, as much as we love them.

I know what you mean, crimson. I was glad to agree to have DD's new baby two days a week when she found out she was pregnant, but hadn't reckoned on twins! Even now I find them hard work, and they're gorgeous, but I've only ever been used to one baby at a time and I really couldn't enjoy looking after them because I was so stressed!
(As well as working on the other three days of the week!)

Anagram; don't you realise our work doesn't count [she says bitterly ]...

I often regret living so far from my two sons' families. I would love to see more of the GC. However, as all GPs live too far away to be child-carers, they have had to use nurseries for all their children and as far as I can see none of them has suffered as a result. When I do see them I am a granny, not a carer which is fine by me. So - all of you who are so taken for granted, how would your offspring cope if, like mine, they had no option?

Mine would have had to go to nursery five days a week instead of three. Cost was a big consideration, and the fact that DD (and I!) felt it would be better for the girls to have some home care mixed in with the nursery care.
I'm not saying I regret the experience - it was just more to cope with than I had expected.