Potty training

Is he ready?
Use pull ups and leave potty in the same room.
Why not wait until warmer weather and then leave pullups off.

Not sure what you are going to use timer for?

Potty / toilet training is an on going process, will your stepson carry on with the potty training when they go home?

Imho patience is the key

Are his parents behind you with this? - because whatever strategies you start need to be continued at home or the lad will be confused by what is going on.

Like Cherrytree I think that summer is the best time to do this. I know it makes him a bit late with it all, but a few months is neither here nor there in the scheme of things - he has got the rest of his life to be dry/clean - and it would be loads easier for everyone.

I think it is easier to achieve in the warmer weather too.
He should be ready - do they still make potties that play a tune if success is achieved?

Why a timer
Lots of clapping and praise works well as far as I remember

If you feel he’s ready, I’d continue with plan to start training now. I found it was best to let them run around house with pants - no trousers. When sat on potty, run a tap- the sound of water running often triggers a pee?. Good luck.

We always just leave their nappies off for most of the day and just keep gently reminding them about the potty.
Boys usually like the step up in front of the loo, then let him 'direct aim' himself. Great fun, I'm sure he'll get the hang of it.
For No 2 you can get seats that fit over your loo seat but with a smaller hole. They soon get used to them as well.
Most of ours didn't get on with potties too well but just try it out and then if not try the proper toilet with stand.
Most important is to not let them feel a bit of tension from you, it has to be fun/big boy and lots of praise, whoops and high fives.

He has to be ready. He is very young still. I would wait till it's warmer and he shows signs of wanting to. DD never used a potty - a step and seat for the toilet were fine for DGS. We had them, DD had them as did other GPs. DGD only 2 but wants to sit on the seat - hit or miss if anything comes but no issues as not yet being trained. She just wants to copy big brother in everything so probably will not get potty either. There are a few books to help as well.

I’m assuming there is involvement from outside agencies, but I assume you don’t have parental responsibility if you only have the little one every other weekend.

Therefore I think you need to be consulting with whoever is the prime caregiver as they need to be taking the lead on potty training.

I meant to say in my post ‘I hadn’t done potty training for many years’. When I did it I used to use a kitchen timer, so they tried for a wee for a minute or two when the timer went off. I am guessing that people don’t use that method these days ?

There is involvement from outside agencies, they are ‘encouraging’ Mum quite strongly to get him potty trained, she hasn’t had much success, so I thought I could maybe start it off. I might leave it a little while longer; it’s definitely easier when the weather is warmer, it’s just he is showing signs of being ready and he responds so well to positive encouragement. I like good manners and his ‘please and thank you’s are coming on beautifully with praise. Thank you for the tips

I've not really heard of the timer thing and I think that they have to be trained to 'feel the urge' that they need to go and then sit on the potty/loo.
If her doesn't take to it in a few days, I'd leave it a couple of months and try again.
The main thing, is that he feels no pressure from adults.
Try to make it fun!

If he’s showing signs of being ready - give it a try. Sometimes I think if people leave it till they’re older, they get lazy and don’t mind being in wet/dirty nappy. Plenty of drinks - well diluted juice is good- to make sure his bladder fills often so he ‘feels the urge’ as Buffybee says.

What they said

Don't make it into a task, or have 'reward stars' because if he forgets or doesn't catch it in time, he'll feel bad.

Guilt and reward shouldn't enter into this in my opinion all though a 'Good boy' when he makes it to the potty is nice.

I "trained" my two (and foster children) in summer as well, just leaving potties in lots of places and never minding if there were accidents.

I knew children just don't have the control before two and a half, so three is early-ish but worth a try as the weather gets warmer.

Pants or nakedness, it didn't matter although the youngest always took off his pants anyway !

They all got it by summer's end.

We’ve just potty trained our daughter. She will be 3 in may.
We got the pants and just committed to it.
We Put the potty in the living room and for the first few days she was naked in the house. She got that straight away. There were only one or two accidents from just not getting there in time.
Working up to dry in Clothes took longer but we just had to keep asking and we did get frustrated when we’d ask her she’d say no and then have an accident but we never showed her. Just said oh no you need to go to the toilet.
I’d say it took one month to really get it to where she was asking us to go to every time.

My son who is now 4 was completely different. He was younger, I bought spider man pants. Asked if he wanted them. He very excitedly said yes, I told him he couldn’t wet them and had to use the toilet from then and he just did. Never missed.

If Mum is having little success with potty training, then you taking this on will just confuse him. One thing at one house, one at another. Does the Mum want you to do this?

I was quite lucky in a way as my children were not too difficult and both were dry by 3 and a half. I did not get involved with my grandchildren's training as their mother did that.
I should just add that my nephew and his wife have 2 quite big children, boy 9 (autistic) girl 7. Their mother is a counsellor. However she has not put much effort into training them. They go to school and come home wet. Luckily for them my nephew's mother in law has gone to live with them and she is training them. Good luck.

Does he know when he is "performing"? I always think it is easiest to do when you notice the child is doing something to indicate he is aware of something. For poos it's usually a squat in a corner, sometimes a certain expression. If he is then it shoudn't be any bother you just need to put him in pull ups, watch him and be prepared to whip them down and produce potty. If he isn't aware might be best to wait a bit longer. Also as you only have him at weekends will your training be reinforced during the wee? If it isn't it's not worth doing he will just get confused.

That should be week not wee- bit strange that came up!

We got the pants and just committed to it.
Yes, you have to set aside a few days when there is nothing much else going on - and probably best if just one person does this until he realises when he needs to go himself.

Putting them on the toilet every hour and praise them if they go . Also ask them to tell you when they need to go in between . Put pants on him and no nappys during the day . Good luck .

My son is an August child and we did it in summer so no pants. It also meant there was no training - a few accidents when he forgot to go to the potty. Done in a day if ready

Luckygirl with you on this. I would only start what I believed in with the parents consent and yes it would have to be continued in the child's home to be successful.

Ok you only have your grandson every other weekend unless Mom has specifically asked you to help and has commited to being consistent at home. It’s none of your business you do not have parental responsibility. In fact I think the outside agencies would not be happy with you confusing the child.

I’m assuming you have the children when they are staying with their Dad therefore Mom is the full time parent.

Just a general comment on toilet training - it seems to be left till later these days, possibly because of convenience of disposable (?) nappies. My own 5 children were all trained between 2 and 2 1/2 - one of them trained herself before 2, just sat on potty and started using it, copying older brother. Others took less than a week to get the hang of it, but we did look for readyness before starting.

First grandchild was trained by 2, in fact she started doing poos in potty before 1 - seemed to prefer it! Parents and (and me, when minding her) would just watch for signs and put her on potty.

There is a significant environmental impact to later toilet training - large number of extra non-recyclable nappies produced, though most people wouldn't consider this aspect. Obviously children mature at different rates, so one can't generalise but I still think lots of children could be trained at a younger age than the current trend.

My Dd and I always praise dgs, three, when he does what is expected of him on the potty.
So, lots of praise when they do go. That goes a long way.
We often have to remind him to have a wee, but he never wets his pants now.