Miscarriage

I miscarried and was told the same thing so it properly did happen as frequently

My DIL had two miscarriages, and yes, it is very common ( also very sad.)

liz think you may be right, also not everyone used to share news of either pregnancy or miscarriage , at least not widely.

Please give them lots of love and understanding, it is such a lonely thing. It is actually even worse if you have held your own baby in your arms but they don't need to know that. Out of 10 babies I only succeeded with 3 for various reasons so please let them know that it is worth it in the end.

If they have more miscarriages there is a lot of advice out there now and a support group but please be sensitive, I still hurt from some of the 'helpful' things people said to me. I still get very upset just writing this.

Sorry, that sounded all about me, I was just trying to get over how difficult it could be for them

??? Nonnie

Aww that's so sad. So much hope and excitement. Yes maybe people know too soon these days but that's no comfort to the would be mums (and grans)

My mum miscarried twins between my birth and my sister's. And one of my DiLs had a miscarriage but now has two lively sons. My best friend had several, adopted a daughter and then had one of her own. So yes, there were many miscarriages in our time and before that. Perhaps they weren't spoken of so openly.

Two of our DDs have had miscarriages. One already had 2 children and the experience made her decide that she wouldn't try again. DD3 had 3 before she had two children in very quick succession. It's hard as, almost inevitably, lots of friends and acquaintances are having babies around the same time.

When we were young I think a lot of early miscarriages went unmentioned because testing was in it's infancy.
I lost a baby at 16.5 weeks and at that stage you really feel pregnant.
DIL had a miscarriage and the Drs told her at 10 week scan that it had been an unviable pregnancy and the foetus had probably not survived after the first few weeks of gestation. DIL was pregnant again after four months and gave birth to a very healthy, full term baby.

So sorry about your DIL's miscarriages, lizh. My heart goes out to them and your DSs! And you, too, of course!

I think you're right though - there have probably always been a lot more misses than we knew and we're finding out now cuz we know about pregnancy earlier. Years ago, we would just have thought some of these misses were late periods.

As harrigan suggests, these probably were not viable pregnancies and the fetuses (sigh) were probably dead a long time. IMO, there's a strong chance that both DILs will give birth to healthy babies in the near future.

I think it's just that people never spoke about their miscarriage. I lost my first baby at 12 weeks, my eldest D did the same, and my younger D miscarried shortly after Christmas. I was quoted the figure of 1 in 5 pregnancies are miscarried. You always carry the memory of the child you never held, but I am not sure if it's worse when it's your little girl losing their child.

My D miscarried twice but the first time she became pregnant again quite quickly and a lovely GD resulted. The second time she was 45, not trying too obviously but still very traumatised by it.

I seem to remember being told once that more than a quarter of pregnancies come to an end without success. Sometimes it has not even been confirmed as a pregnancy, often it is (or used to be) at about the 3-month point, and sometimes it is at or near term when things go wrong.

People used to wait longer before anouncing the pregnancy, so unless you were close family, you didn't hear about the miscarriage either.

I had one before my 3 successful pregnancies; my DD had 2 late ones before she had her two babes. It really is very common, and, as others have said, the fact that mothers know so early makes it more obvious.

Please do no despair - the midwives used to say it was nature having a trial run. It is more likely than not that they will go on to have normal pregnancies.

All 3 DDs have had miscarriages. DD1 had 2 one after the other but subsequently had 2 healthy babies with no problems. It is really sad even though so common. Such a disappointment. Always the what if.

A friend of mine has just had a miscarriage and it always brings back the sadness of mine. I actually had four,from very early to nearly full term but my medical records say three because I didn't have the doctor confirm one of the pregnancies.I don't know if it's still like that, it still hurts that one of my babies wasn't acknowledged . Once a woman loses three babies she qualifies for investigation into the loss of her babies so it's very important to get each pregnancy confirmed.
Of course that was over 20 years ago so it's hopefully changed since then.

Nonnie,people can say hurtful things like 'he's in a better place' and 'it wasn't meant to be ' but I guess it's hard for them too,at least they didn't cross the road when they saw me like many others did.

When I was quite young I lost a baby at 12 weeks. A doctor said that a third of first pregnancies failed. I didn't feel right until 5 years later when had my daughter.

DD has had 3 miscarriages in the last year. She has been diagnosed with underactive thyroid during her third one. Apparently, undiagnosed underactive thyroid increases risk of miscarriage by 7 times. In her case, we are hoping that that may have been the cause.

Also apparently, there are more miscarriages, as mums are sometimes older than they used to be.

If anyone following this thread.....I wrote in March that both DILs had very early miscarriages. Delighted to be able to tell you that BOTH are now pregnant, had 3month scan etc, and BOTH due in early April!

Lizh That's wonderful news. I hope you can all enjoy the pregnancies without worrying too much and look forward to April.

What wonderful newslizh Thanks for the update. April is going to be an exciting month for you all! Hope you can return with news about the babies.

lizh - thank you for sharing that good news - and I am so glad that it is BOTH of them!

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