Good morning Michael and all GN's on a very dark and still morning in North Yorkshire. Not enough light to see even an outline of the tree so far. I am really struggling yet again after a horrible night and unfortunately both my legs are swollen at the moment, so all plans are off, and leg cossetting the major aim for the day!! The one thing I am determined to do is go to a harvest festival if at all possible.
Have been awake hours, in a lot of pain, and dont see why as having had a painful day, I did very little and nothing from my selection of things planned. Yesterday, struggling a lot, and it took a long time to even be able to get into the shower, but at least finally when I did , it helped with the pain threshold. I then ignored the washing up (couldnt think of standing in the kitchen) and not in the right mood to have a trying on session of clothes, so I eventually sallied forth on the yellow peril, to go for the Yorkshire post, and a few bits and pieces from the market and see a few friendly faces,
As I was getting ready to go, saw an envelope and picked it up and it put me in rather a flat spin! As I told you , had my eye test and they said I would get an appointment from the hospital. Well this was the appointment, - sent by post which at the moment is appalling service - and when I looked at it , it is an appointment for THIS monday morning!! As it is an eye appointment, I cannot of course drive myself, as there will be drops etc. At Upfront we have a car scheme, but you need to have time to organise it and they are only there week days, so it is something of a panic working out how to get there. Much more scary is the fact that it is such a quick appointment! At the moment, I know from other people, ordinary appointments are about up to 6 weeks time, and urgent appointments are about a fortnight, so to get one within a week is very scaring! As I only got it late, there is no one there to ring up to at least check up or anything, and the only positive idea I can have is that they had a sudden cancellation and fitted me in. However that is not at all soothing my anxiety, and coupled with my wretched back and legs, I am having little sleep and so far have not managed to find anyone who can take me, so today that is going to have to be my priority. I could ring and cancel and put it off, but of course, it wouldnt help matters either as having received this the worry is there anyway. It is too late to get hospital transport too as they need advanced warning, not asked for help for that morning, as they are not available until monday either!! I tried a couple of friends last night, but of course at such short notice they are already booked for various things and volunteer, so cant let other people down.
So when I can think in a calmer manner I must check on trains and buses to Middlesborough that would get me there in time for the appointment, but either of those are going to need a taxi to get me to the bus stop or station, as I just couldnt manage the walk there. I even drove on the yellow peril to my friend Nichola's house, but she was unfortunately out. Have sent her a text but no reply so she may be away. It is always sods law isnt it that just when you need help, it is at a time that your usual go to people are not available. It wont be helped by today being sunday, and many people off with family etc and harvest festival at various churches. Right now I just dont have any good ideas of where to try next, and the panic is rising, but that panic about getting there is helping to keep the major panic about why I have had such a quick appointment at bay!!Thankyou GN's for being there and letting me write about it. Oh how I miss my darling husband, who was such a soother of worries and had intelligent and clever ideas in such cases. I suppose at the worst I could get a taxi there, but that would be eyewateringly expensive. I have no idea of the cost as cant remember the last time I ever took a taxi and certainly not that far! Well I will see what I can come up with today.
After the shock of that letter, I shoved it in my bag, and my heart was racing rather as I got on the yellow peril and tried to think calmy about what I needed to get. Meandered along the market, it was sunny and a bit windy, so people were out in force enjoying the warm day, but very few looking where they were going, andso quite a bit of ringing my bicycle bell to warn them I was behind them etc. I got my yorkshire post and was pleased to land up at Cafe Nero and managed to just get a seat that I could sit reasonably comfortably in. The pavements had been very bumpy and coupled with the stress of the letter, my back was very painful, and tight. I tried breathing properly etc., but just could not relax at all, and in the beginning had to just sit until the queue had died down a bit before even being able to go and order my much needed coffee. However I did get myself ensconced in a chair, and was able to offer a couple with a dog a seat at my table, which they duly took, as especially when it is so busy, I feel it is a problem with the british, who never choose to sit at a table with anyone there, yet I only need one seat of the usual four. So I didnt feel I was taking up a whole table on a busy morning. I spent a long time there, looking up on my phone for any inspiration as to whom I might get in touch with for a lift on monday, and then reading my Yorkshire Post, being able to give a little pleasure to a gentleman with a walking frame at the next table, as I asked him if he followed sport, and when he said yes, was able to donate the sports page from my Yorkshire post. He seemed very pleased with that and when his wife appeared with his coffee , showed her the pages and told her he would be fine with his drink and the paper if she needed to go out to the stalls. So that was a little positive bit to the day. He said he was a rugby man and had played so we had a little talk about that, which diverted my attention for a little and then I returned to the paper and was pleased to sit in comfort.The cafe was extremely busy, with it being both a fine day and market day, but again we seemed to have all new staff, so that useful bit where they know what we regulars have wasnt there to help them and the queue got longer and longer as they had to ask all the questions to each person. However after a very busy half an hour they seemed to get the measure of the queue and then someone had time to be out and about collecting dirty cups and tidying up. Quite a baptism of fire for a new learner barista, who did well, and looks as though she will be an asset , if she stays here.
I left and called in at Tesco for a couple of things and then drove up to my friends again to hope that she was at home, but no luck and no sound of the dogs barking so she was obviously out with them, so no help there. I came home and did very little. Just basics, putting shopping away and so forth. My intentions of starting on the ironing mountain was ignored and I just had radio 3 and 4 on to take my mind from all the thoughts of the hospital. There was for once quite a decent play, and of course the joy and soothing radio 3 where music does help to block worrying thoughts, and is definitely the "prescription" of choice for me whatever the problem is.
I tottered off to bed, ignoring the bag of clothes untried on, and attempted to go to sleep, but of course not much luck, so switched the light on and read for quite a while and so here I am now, having done so little physically yesterday, yet in such pain and struggling to move about. Infuriating! Still I will get to the shower asap and then check up on times of services at the various churches and make sure I am in good time for one of them. It will be both a joy and soothing and full of memories of my family stretching way back taking part, making bread, taking the best of what we have grown, sharing the relief of a harvest safely in. The best way to get through the day, and remind me that all things pass in the end.
I hope you enjoy your racing today Mick, that is one good thing about modern day life, is that you can have contact round the world with your interests, and find something to watch for a lot of the time. GrandMattie you seem to have had quite a time of it, everything looks lovely and I am sure the fox was grateful for his free meal too! Karmalady you do make some lovely things. You remind me of my mother, who was an excellent dressmaker and could turn her hand to any sewing whether by machine or hand. She even designed and made our coats when we were little, and could whistle up a dress at very short notice when needed. Not a skill I have, like to see well made clothes, and am fussy about matching seams etc, but knitting was more my forte, and would always try to get someone else to sew things up for me, as my sewing skills didnt match my knitting ones, and I was never satisfied with the quality of my own stitching. As for cutting things, give me a pair of secateurs and I will make a good job of pruning and cutting things in the garden, but dont let me near some expensive material! Speaking of which I think a time in the garden with the secateurs may be a good idea this morning. It can be a satisfying sight to see a border weed free and with any broken branches etc cleared off.
So time to get that kettle on for a much needed coffee and then the tentative effort to see if I can manage the shower, and improve the morning. Wishing you all a peaceful and pleasant day with something you enjoy to make your day.