Should I say something?

Think it’s called grief and it takes time.

I know. Of course it is. However, she needs her friends and they seem to be evaporating. At my age I know a lot of widows and have always been happy to support them in every way I can. I suppose they have been more outward looking and interested in others than the friend in question is.

Grief takes time of course but it needn’t be dwelt on continuously for over a year . I think this woman does need to learn that other people need time to talk about their own problems. Not sure what your meeting circumstances are but could you perhaps suggest before the next occasion that she doesn’t come if she doesn’t feel up to joining in general conversation?

It's not that she doesn't feel up to joining groups it's just that she dominates them with her own situation.

That’s very difficult. You don’t want to seem unfeeling but if it’s having a detrimental effect on others, that’s hard, too. Has she had professional counselling?

Yes. She saw a counsellor and she's been to a bereavement group but says they're not for her. She complained about the other bereaved ladies talking too much!

Oh dear, that’s a tough one, then! That kind of person really doesn’t have any self-awareness, unfortunately. If others are on the same waveband as you, perhaps you need to work together to try and steer conversation elsewhere.

I know it’s not easy doing that - a group I belong to has a member who harps on and on about a period of her life some thirty or forty years ago. It’s not a distressing topic or anything but I think we’re all now at the stage where we all think we’ve lived the same life because we’re so familiar with all the details! 😩