Leaving your children alone overnight.

Oh dear my eldest was in London nursing at 17

I wouldn’t leave a 16 year old alone for 5 nights, personally. We left ours alone one evening ( not overnight) with the 15 year old babysitting the rest. Whilst we were away she got an obscene phone call from someone who said they were watching her and asked her to do some horrible things. She was absolutely terrified and luckily our neighbours were home to help. I never left them again until they were of age.

I got married aged 17

We left our eldest overnight at 17, he was in charge of his 15 year old brother. Now I would worry about others using social media to find out and organise a ‘party’.
Years later we were talking about this and our DCs said they wouldn’t dare have had a party because they’d have to put the house back to normal afterwards 😂.
At 18 we left the younger one at home while we went on a 3 week holiday to Canada. He just had a mate stay over, no problems.

nanna8 It is one night not 5.

18 is more mature than 16, though. I married at 19 myself and left home at 18. A whole lot different.

Where is your friends mentality. Logic should inform. I despair for the future of humanity when grown ups aren’t confident in their own offspring’s ability to assess whether their own children are capable of spending -what amounts to - a mear few hours alone in their own home.
Please people stop infantilising young adults.
Jeez I was married and had a baby and a house and could even cross the road by myself🙄 all at the tender age of (nearly 19) …..and no mobile phones ..or in fact any phone at all. Just like millions of others all over this nation.

I left home and moved to London at 17. Lived alone in a bed sit, worked, paid my own bills and when I didn’t have money for the meter just climbed into bed to keep warm. Never was offered or expected parents help.

Where I live in Sweden it is not uncommon for kids to live in self-catering, student flats from the age of 15-16 and fend for themselves for 6th form/A-levels (gymnasiet).

I had to work, as a single mum and I worked nights so it didn’t interfere with family life as much as it could, When my eldest went to work in London at 17, my son took over looking after his younger sister They had to ring me before they went to bed, I worked fairly nearby so could have got home in an emergency
We never had an emergency thankfully
Not everyone has the luxury of family evenings. they have all grown up sensible kids with families of their own and professional jobs

That person s reaction goes hand in hand with keeping children in nappies till they are 5 and beyond ( not to damage them ) and dressing dogs in warm hats to keep their ears warm…… What have we become

We went off to Canada for three weeks, adult holiday, leaving our then 18 and 21 year old in the house together, with a certain amount of trepidation as to what we'd come back to. Although their older sister, my step daughter did call in on them from time to time.

Younger son, conversely the most responsible or so I thought, rang us up complaining about older brother being over zealous laying the law down and being totally unreasonable. We were very sympathetic until we got home and our older one told us that his brother had had several friends home one evening, "one had too much to drink, didn't make it to the bathroom and was sick in your bedroom, and I was the one who cleaned it up" what was he doing in our bedroom God only knows Well apart from a falling out between them, and the house being filthy, we made them spend the weekend cleaning it, all was well, they coped.

I was walking to school on my own aged 5 and going on holiday with a friend and no adults aged 15. I know it was a different age but it shows that youngsters are perfectly capable of looking after themselves. It just depends how they are brought up.

Being alone in their own home presents no dangers other than fire or intruders. They should know how to prevent and deal with a fire as part of becoming an adult, and not open the front door unless expecting someone. No-one has to open their front door just because someone rings the doorbell. Get a Ring doorbell or speak to them from a window.

I too was in a tiny flat in London at 17, persuaded a friend to join me (she was18) we scraped the rent sometimes lived on bread and gravy and also slept with extra clothes over the coverlet ( no bedding) to stay warm. We sometimes shared clothes if we managed a night out.
We learned fast and grew up quickly.

I think it depends on the individual and the situation.
I can remember at 16 being keen to stay by myself when mum and little brother were going away for a week's holiday.

Mum was reluctant but let me. After a couple of hours I felt suddenly lonely. Then the bell rang and my big sister arrived from university with her boyfriend hoping to find the house empty for their love in.

Ha ha, I was chaperone instead.😅

My SiL who is now in her 60s and a grandmother, was the baby of the family, always molly-coddled and not allowed to be independent. As a result she took longer than most to take responsibility for herself.
She would get on the wrong bus, lose things and just be dizzy and annoying

However she became a confident adult eventually and was a wonderful carer for her parents in their old age

When DDs were 16 and 13 we attended a wedding in Stockholm, away for 4 nights.

I was confident that they were sensible and that they’d be fine, and they were,
It was the first time we’d ever left them for even one night, though.

I always remember my neighbours leaving their daughter home alone when she was in her teens. Of course everyone at her school found out and the whole weekend turned into one huge party ( I think the sofa ended up in the front garden at one point). It wasn’t the daughters fault; she was just overwhelmed by them all.

We left DD aged 18 and DS 16 for a week. No horror stories have emerged even more than 40 years on so I don’t think there were any serious problems and the house was fine too. I think we are in danger of tying our young to closely to our apron strings these days; a few practice runs at being grown up are useful.

I had my own flat in the city at age 17. My parents lived 200 miles away and I had no other relatives to speak of around.

I left my son alone for a few days when he was 17. He had to get himself to an exam, and did so. The only casualty in the house was a window broken by a cricket ball, and that would probably have happened whether I was there or not.

From age 12 my parents used to pop out to the pub and leave me in charge of my 5 year old sister. The NDN had a phone and I was instructed to ask her to ring the pub if there was a problem. I never did. This was the 1950s.

When I was 16 and began my first job in the civil service my parents arranged 2 weeks in a caravan in Wales. I had no wish to go so I told them I could not get the time off work. They believed me and went anyway. The NDN was supposed to "keep an eye on me" in case I invited "lads" around but I only invited female friends. I never again went on holiday with my parents. When you get to your teenc staying in a caravan in a holiday park has lost its shine.

My DDiL worked for a charity which supported youngsters emerging from the care system.
It horrified her that these 16 year olds were given flats to live in and expected to live independently straight from the Children's home. Most of them couldn't manage and she'd find them living in the dark and cold without furniture or hot food.
Too much too soon. Often they had a baby too.
Hopefully things have improved and DDiL is now a lecturer in social care.

My parents went on holiday and left me alone for a week when I was 16. I was an only child but we had a dog.

At that time (1973) was into watching horror films and usually watched them with my dad. They were always on at 10.30 on a Friday night. Usually Hammer Horror or something similar

Anyway, whilst they were away, I watched a horror film on my own and frightened myself half to death. I was more scared of ghosts than a burglar or intruder. I went to bed with the light on all week and the dog in my room. I was fine during the day. Looking back it seems ridiculous now but I still get spooked by some horror films.

Our daughter (eldest) was not as sensible as our son who we left for 5 nights.

We once went out for the day and into the evening with friends.

We had only been home a few minutes when I got a call to say my Mother had a suspected stroke.

I packed a bag and got into my car to drive up North, I couldn’t believe the angle at which I had left the car in the garage and I had alarms telling me the roof wasn’t clicked in place properly.
It still didn’t dawn on me even when I was filling up the tank en route!

Yes! I discovered later she and her friend had been flashing around in my lovely car, a neighbour said she was surprised I let her drive such a powerful car.
She was 17 and hadn’t passed her test!

There were sanctions!

She took 5 attempts to pass her test (karma).

We almost laugh about it now.