Oh the embarrassment!
My neighbour knocked on my door, the conversation went like this:
Him: Hi, I signed for this parcel for you.
Me: Oh thank you, I've been waiting for that, it's my new STD card, the old one seemed to be full. Obviously it wasn't big enough, hopefully this one will be up to the job!
Take package, smile brightly, thank again, close door, go back to the kitchen, sit down, open envelope and sit in horrified, stunned state as the conversation replays in my head...........
Hexham - is it a nice place to retire to - cousin retiring there?

Now how will that get translated around your village I wonder! I can hear it now..... "did you know that Mrs P has....." 
