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Errm, can we rewind and try that again?

(77 Posts)
phoenix Mon 07-Jan-19 21:34:08

Oh the embarrassment!

My neighbour knocked on my door, the conversation went like this:

Him: Hi, I signed for this parcel for you.

Me: Oh thank you, I've been waiting for that, it's my new STD card, the old one seemed to be full. Obviously it wasn't big enough, hopefully this one will be up to the job!

Take package, smile brightly, thank again, close door, go back to the kitchen, sit down, open envelope and sit in horrified, stunned state as the conversation replays in my head...........blush

Smurf44 Tue 08-Jan-19 09:57:47

Thanks for the explanation Phoenix. I was racking my brains to think what a camera memory card was really called! Well, it is still before 10am.

I hope you keep us informed us if you get any interesting comments in the village. ??.

MaggieMay69 Tue 08-Jan-19 10:03:09

Lol oh you poor thing lol. Made me smile.

Same way I made a fellow smile a few months back as he was walking his beautiful dog. I asked if I could say hello and the young man nodded, and I said 'Ohh, I cannot remember the breed, I always call them the Durex Dogs!'

Of course, I was supposed to say Duluxe dogs (the Old English Sheepdogs!)

I didn't even notice my blunder until I randomly replayed the conversation in my head. :-/ lol

Telly Tue 08-Jan-19 10:14:55

Well this thread has made me LOL. Not a bad start to the day!

CarlyD7 Tue 08-Jan-19 10:23:55

I'm sure his attention was soon on other things but if anyone mentions it to you, how about just saying that "oh no, what I said was ... he must have misheard me" !

Blinko Tue 08-Jan-19 10:26:00

Must admit I spent a couple of minutes trying to figure out what an STD card might be. I do know the telephone dialling code thing and of course the sexually transmitted disease. But couldn't think why either would require a card.... confused

Noname Tue 08-Jan-19 10:27:02

Reminds me of yesterday evening as hubby and I were discussing vegetarian/vegan diets. Hubby says”it’s not for me and I don’t think you’ll ever be a virgin either”!! ?

sarahellenwhitney Tue 08-Jan-19 10:32:11

Why the need to go further ? Many thanks for taking in my parcel.End of.

Izabella Tue 08-Jan-19 10:38:37

grin

Annaram1 Tue 08-Jan-19 10:42:34

Please somebody enlighten me!!!! I still don't know what STD stands for in this thread. Is it a phone card?

Lisagran Tue 08-Jan-19 10:58:15

Annaram1 - Phoenix explained upthread (7.20)

Niucla97 Tue 08-Jan-19 11:16:14

Your conscience is clear so I say if they are talking about you they are leaving someone else alone.

GreenGran78 Tue 08-Jan-19 11:19:24

Reminds me of that irritating tv ad, where the woman hands over a letter to her elderly neighbour - "Oh, that must be my......" I can't remember the product, but she wants one too! Not an STD, I hope! smile

farview Tue 08-Jan-19 11:28:01

I love your posts pheonix!!??

Purplepoppies Tue 08-Jan-19 11:37:49

Shall we rename you Mrs Malapropism Phoenix?? That is very funny!!
My mum has a friend who gets things wrong quite alot. Whilst in the car with her husband a man in another car flashed his lights to let them out. She said ' look, he's wanking at you' !! No irony, or embarrassment!!

Happysexagenarian Tue 08-Jan-19 11:39:59

Oh dear Grammaretto (chuckle chuckle) I trust you now have a lock on your toilet door! blush

grandmac Tue 08-Jan-19 11:55:21

Purplepoppies. grin. grin

grandmac Tue 08-Jan-19 12:03:26

I think I might have written this on Gransnet before, so please excuse a repeat.
A few years ago my neighbour was helping me in the garden and as it was getting dark I said “oh you don’t want to be out here trimming my bush in this bad light Phil” (name changed) I cringe with embarrassment even now!! blush

mabon1 Tue 08-Jan-19 12:04:20

What's all the fuss about?

4allweknow Tue 08-Jan-19 12:15:27

If neighbour is youngish he probably won't think of STD meaning what you referred to. The modern version is SHC sexual health clinics. He may not have noticed the "T" when you were chatting away thinking you only said SD which he will know about. Hope so anyway!

VIOLETTE Tue 08-Jan-19 12:16:39

Ha ha ...hope you don't have too many male relatives who are likely to call ......neighbour might start calling you Madame .........love it !!! grin

Willow500 Tue 08-Jan-19 12:18:58

Lol Phoenix - I'd be more concerned that he thought you didn't know what it stood for grin

Yesterday one of the girls had gone into my husband's office and said to him and his works manager that there was a man in reception with a big tool in his hand - she couldn't understand what they were both laughing at!

margie303 Tue 08-Jan-19 12:51:00

You made my day phoenix. I am doubled up in hysterics. I can imagine myself in similar situation. Thank for making me laugh

Mamar2 Tue 08-Jan-19 13:11:14

First laugh if the day. Hilarious.

margie303 Tue 08-Jan-19 13:33:36

I want to add (hastily, in view of the lack of knowledge of what phoenix said ), that my guffaws of laughter were because i was a nurse and worked in GP practices for many years lol

Purpledaffodil Tue 08-Jan-19 13:40:00

I have only once in my life complained to a neighbour about noise. Driven to distraction by its repetitive bass notes, I knocked at his door and said..... Is that your organ throbbing because it’s going right through me?”. Never again. ?