Teenagers & all night parties

As you seem to be on good terms with your neighbours I would have a polite chat with them about it . I would ask for advance notice of any forthcoming parties in order to plan ahead - i.e good quality ear plugs or go away !
This is what we have done in the past and it has worked out well .

If its once every few months and noise not damage I would just grit my teeth or go away if you know in advance.

Next door have their parents over from India and there’s been lots of noisy get togethers with friends and relatives for the last two weeks.

But hey they’re flying back today, it was only two weeks and they’re lovely neighbours to have for the other 50 weeks.

Not worth falling out over.

If it was a weekly occurrence I d be annoyed but twice in a few months I d put up with it and as the Mum sounds very approachable ask her for forewarning as NotaGran has said
20 odd teenagers is quite small for a house party my teen grandkids have been to parties where the numbers are usually 50 plus (not in their house I might add they ve never asked for one and as they live in a terrace wouldn’t be granted one)

Twice in two months - I wouldn't worry about it. And only 20 of them, you're lucky it wasn't 200.

I'd just ask Mum if you can be advised next time they intend having a party, so you can go out for the night.

Twice in a FEW months Stella it’s a nuicence but we were all young once it’s forgivable unless it becomes regular or your house or garden is damaged
But the mum sounds approachable don’t get too stressed by it

My immediate concerns would be that the girl may be vulnerable (especially from unwanted gatecrashers) and that she defied her parents by having another party and perhaps they don't even know about it.
I would mention it to the parents and, as others have said, ask for a few days notice in future. It's a reasonable request and it will ensure that they do actually know what's going on.
I would have been very cross with my own children if they had shown such disrespect to neighbours.

My thoughts are exactly the same as grannyactivist on this matter.

It’s says ‘teenager’ the poster doesn’t give an age she could be 18/19 and as they all arrived in cars and had the sense to go wherever they went in taxis the chances are she’s an older teen and sensible enough to not be drink driving so unlikely to be a vulnerable kid
there’s nothing in the post to suggest the mother or parents didn’t know about the second party, although they may not but we re not privy to that information. As the numbers were small 20 or so it’s not likely to be full of gatecrashers

I would say if it becomes a regular habit then worth worrying about, two parties a few months apart in summer is fairly normal and manageable as a one (well two) off

One of my neighbours had a teenage son who was a bit unreliable and mixing with an undesirable crowd. When she had to leave him “home alone” she forbade him to have anyone round and warned all the neighbours, asking them to alert her of anything going on. We did see and hear several young men and girls going in and a party did start up. Another neighbour( off duty police) went in at 1 am when it was noisy and broke it up ended up in more police arriving and the neighbour chasing some lads down the road. The mum was grateful and as she had alerted everyone, her house was relatively unscathed. Perhaps your neighbour could let you know next time the teenagers are going to be unsupervised.

so no one has ever been young? No one ever had children who had parties or drank to much now and again ...I dont know where you all live but my goodness it must be a veritable haven.Its NORMAL for young folk to have friends round and believe me we had 20 most weekends when my kids were teens ,we had a dedicated space for them with their own loo so they didn't trail through the house..they would have takeaways delivered and play music or video's or computer games.They were also allowed a couple of beers ...with parents permission .

I loved having them and missed it when they all grew up and onto serious relationships.When I see them in town I always get hugs and stories from when they "grew up" in our house.A house is somewhere your family should enjoy/be happy/safe .Would you rather they partied in the park as some do? Buy yourself some earplugs and let the young have a life .

Dollyjo the only time anyone can ever tell me or my family what to do in their own home will be if they are paying all my bills ...you have no right to tell the teenager not to have her friends round .

It’s not normal at all. Being a teenager doesn’t mean you can behave in an exceptionally inconsiderate manner. They should have respect for their neighbours’ feelings like everybody else. The occasional late party, if they must - but all night in a residential area? Never. Nor should adults.

I would ring the police.

One time I had to be away for a night I think my son, then 17, got up to something. There was no damage to the house, though, and no complaints to me from neighbours, so it can’t have been all that bad. I had always been strict about noise and not disturbing people, so even if he did have a noisy night he’d have been conscious if it and not gone on all night, I’m sure.

Having had to deal with the trauma of extensive loss and damage caused by an unsanctioned teenage party, I would say the parents need to be made aware if it's happening so I second the comments that suggest this course of action.

Twice in a few months is not excessive. Yes, I agree it's not nice but I would avoid falling out with neighbours at this stage.

If it happens again, say something politely.

A lot depends on how well you know the parents. If you know them well and bump into them, I suppose you could say something at this stage but I'd be wary of falling out.

I used to have neighbours like this but it soon stopped and I was glad I'd said nothing. I don't know if anyone else had spoken to them.

Paddyann your get togethers are in a way controlled with a family adult around, these are not and it’s different. I an not against teenagers having fun but they have to consider others. I would say why not try making a lot of noise at say 6 am when they are probably sleeping and see how they like it.

I agree 20 teenagers shouldn't be a problem.

The problems arise when a party is posted on Facebook.
There is then a risk of gate-crashers and things quickly escalating and getting out of hand.

^I politely spoke to her and telling her not to do it again^
If the mother had already dealt with her daughter, I wouldn't have taken it upon myself to reprimand her.

It isn't that often so perhaps you are being a bit unreasonable. As you are friendly with the neighbour I suggest that you ask her for her mobile number so that if things get out of hand you can contact her. My neighbours gave me theirs when their teenage son had his first party at 18 but actually everyone was gone by midnight. Oh and invest in some earplugs-wonderful things!

One of ours had an unsanctioned party while we were on holiday. It got seriously out of hand, strangers turned up and caused problems. A neighbour phoned and told us the next day (a mixed blessing), also that he had been round to everyone and apologised for the disturbance. By the time we got home the house was immaculate. It didn’t happen again. In the case you describe dolly I think I’d have a quiet word with Mum and just ask for warning of the next gathering. Maybe sleep in a different room away from the noise or, yes, ear plugs are a wonderful thing. It’s a sort of a rite of passage I think, best to tolerate if you can as long as the parents are aware and you have warning.

The mother apologised on her daughter's behalf, but the daughter should have apologised also. She clearly isn't heeding her mother's strictures, and I don't think neighbours should be expected to tolerate late night/ early morning disturbances without complaint.

I'm with grannyactivist on this. Does the mother even know? Regardless of their age, if children use a parent's house for a (raucous) party, then the parent should at least be made aware of this. What do the other neighbours think?

I think you have to be prepared to put up with the occasional party but obviously you don't want this to be an ongoing problem. They are presumably all on their summer holidays so there should be some limit to it. I would probably let the second one go as 2 isn't a habit but speak to the mother if it looks like becoming a regular thing.

I also agree with Cherrytree that you shouldn't have told her not to do it again. You can't tell a teenager off like a child and the second party may well have been a case of her showing you that you can't tell her what to do, something that is important to teenagers.

Twice in one month, don't worry about it. The weather is warm, it will get cold again.

I could tolerate what has happened here but if it goes on then I would need to take measures - like speak to the parents again. Trouble is as we all know alcohol makes people noisy; on Saturday night/Sunday mornings our road, which is normally quiet and peaceful, has various groups wandering back from town and having quite normal conversations together but at about 90 decibels.